Worst Dates Series: The One Where She Turned out to Be an MLM Agent

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Contrary to what you might think, I didn’t meet this one on a dating app.

We met at a small speakeasy bar. It had an open mic session that night, and I was there to support a friend who was performing.

After the session ended, I noticed this beautiful girl whose friends had left her a while. Naturally, I went up to her and told her exactly that.

“Hey, I just wanted to say, I think you’re pretty! Would you like to go out sometime?”

 “Oh, thank you! Sure, why not?”

We exchanged numbers and I took her out that weekend.

Now, those of you who know me, know that I have a routine. I do the same thing for all my first dates – I plan the evening and don’t tell the girl what we’re doing. They just need to show up for the surprise. Most women appreciate that.

This one was no different. The surprise date went well. We were chatting about it a few days later and she says this to me,

“It’s my turn to surprise you. I’ll plan the date this time.”

Not gonna lie – I was impressed. Up to that point, no woman had ever done the same for me. It was a refreshing change, and it made me see her in a completely new light.

“Wow, sure. I can’t wait!”

I finally understood what it was like to be the girls I took out on the surprise dates. I spent the next day wondering what we were going to do and trying to figure it out.

Now, if she had actually planned a surprise date, this would probably be the story of How I Met My Wife. But this is IRL, and you’ve seen the title.

This is the extent of my photo editing skills.

She asked me to meet her at Tropicana City Mall’s Starbucks. I showed up, fully dressed and handsomefied, eagerly asking her “So what’re we doing?”

“Oh, before that, let’s meet my friend first. He has something to tell you.”

Wait, what?

It was then I noticed – the Starbucks was busier than normal. There were people sitting down with laptops opened, facing other people who seemed to be listening to a presentation.

And then I saw it – the blue banners with the words YOU SHOULD BE HERE.

Oh God. No. Nononononononononono.

Nothing represents my feelings better than Michael Scott

Oh but it was.

I sat down and listened to her friend pitch to me about the wonders of this business. How I can travel the world, and how financial freedom was within my grasp, and how the sky’s the limit.

At some point I think even the guy understood what was going on and took pity on me. He ended the session after 30 minutes. I started to think that maybe Jayne (not her real name) had done this before.

After the presentation, Jayne took me for my ‘surprise’ – a meal at Nandos.

“Yeah, I just wanted to be honest with you – I’m flattered, but I don’t think I’m interested.”

My reaction.

After that I never saw Jayne again.

For more worst date stories, read Malaysian Worst Date Series: A Collection, and Worst Dates Series: The One Where We (Literally) Netflix-ed and Chilled.

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Khairie Apirin
Hi, I'm Khairie, the editor. When I'm not writing, I'm at the gym, or trying to adult (unsuccessfully). I love a good story though, hence this site. If you've got a story you'd like to share, come - tell me. I'd love to hear about it.
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