Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and does not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
Have you ever heard of the saying, “I met the right person at the wrong time.”?
Imagine meeting someone who you love very dearly and have a very deep connection with, someone who you consider as your other half or soulmate.
But alas, the timing is wrong.
Some people say that it doesn’t work like that. They say, if it’s the right person, they’ll come at the right time. But I believe it, as I have experienced it firsthand myself.
It felt like I knew him from another life
I met this one wonderful person in September 2019, online. Let’s just call him ‘Persona’.
For a while, we talked. Then a few weeks into knowing each other, we decided to call each other for the first time.
I am a very shy person. Whenever I meet someone new, I tend to act in a very awkward way. It takes time for me to be comfortable and talkative with them.
I was so anxious in anticipation of the call. But when we finally had it, it felt different. We talked for hours like we’ve always known each other.
I felt like I’d met him before in another life. That was the first time in my life I’ve ever felt that way.
Fast forward to the next part, and Persona asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course, I said “Yes!”
At this point, I’ve never actually been in a real relationship before. He was my first real boyfriend.
I had to keep him a secret from my parents
Persona was an amazing guy, the nicest guy I’ve ever met in my life. He was a loving, understanding, supportive person and he loved me inside and out.
He thought I was the most beautiful person he had ever met. He loved me unconditionally and was very affectionate. He was everything I dreamed of for a partner.
Sadly, I had to keep my relationship a secret from my parents because they were quite conservative and they wouldn’t allow me to date anyone until I graduated in 2023.
When I started dating Persona, both of us were only 19. But hey, I wanted to experience love, I wanted to experience the beauty and the magnificence of it.
So I thought, ‘This is my life and I have the right to live my life to the fullest so let me give it a try. Let me fall in love.’
Every date that I went with Persona was kept secret from my parents. They didn’t even know I was dating someone.
Do I have regrets? No, of course I don’t. I got to experience something that was so beautiful and mesmerising.
The first time we held hands — which was also the first time I ever held hands with a guy — I didn’t feel any electric shock at all (like they say).
When I held his hands for the first time, I felt safe. It was a comfortable feeling, like I had found my other missing piece.
He radiated a feeling of ‘HOME’, like — this is where I belong. In fact, every time we talked, he gave me that feeling. I miss it a lot, I really do.
Long story short, 7 months after we dated, he broke up with me.
It was during the MCO. The turning point of my life. The reason why my year was basically destroyed.
It was sudden, I didn’t know why; I was shocked, I was angry — but I knew deep down inside there was something wrong.
I became depressed after my first ever breakup
Before I go on with my story, I did the stupidest thing ever in my life. The day after we broke up, I told my parents about it.
I told them how I had had a boyfriend, because at that time I was very hurt and I was in need of someone to comfort me.
My parents were the only closest people present in my life, and I took my mum as a friend in that situation. A wrong move because my mum called me stupid for getting my heart broken and for getting into a relationship.
That was why I was depressed — I spent a month blaming myself over and over again, and I had to overcome my first breakup alone. Luckily, my friends were there for me.
To snap me out of my depression, a mutual friend told me that Persona had confided in him, saying: “Do you think she would agree to get back with me if I asked?”
Hearing that, I reached out to him. Over the chat, he told me that the reason why he broke up with me earlier was because “I didn’t want to hurt you with my depression”.
He thought he was dragging me down with his mental health issues. But the thing is, never once did I think his depression hurt me.
In fact, I wanted to do my best to help him. So we got back together and fast forward, me and Persona’s relationship was going great and it was much better than before.
Then I introduced him to my parents
Ever since we first dated in October 2019, Persona kept asking me when I would tell my parents about us because he told his family about us and his family was very nice to me.
I felt welcomed and grateful for that. Luckily, he was understanding and waited patiently until I was actually ready to tell my parents.
So after we got back together, he asked me again if I would tell my parents about it.
At that moment, I really thought my parents would be okay with my relationship, judging by the way my mum kept asking me about having a boyfriend. I thought it was okay, I genuinely thought it was okay…
So in the middle of July 2020, I didn’t want Persona to wait anymore. I decided to tell them after asking for opinions from my friends.
We thought my parents would be fine with it, and after that we could go out for dates and meet each other, since we’ve been waiting to do so for such a long time.
I am not going to tell the whole thing about what happened that night. But to keep it simple, my parents threatened me with a warning — if they ever find out that I’m still in contact with him, they’ll take me out of college. They told me to choose whether I want to be in college or get married at a young age.
What happened that night completely made me feel distant from my father as I wasn’t that close with him to begin with.
I was mad and angry, and I still am now.
Why aren’t my parents as open minded as other parents, why?! It isn’t fair for parents to do that. It isn’t fair for parents to control their children’s life however they want to just to satisfy their wants and needs.
I was torn apart and I had to tell the truth to him
We called and talked about it, discussed what would be the best thing to do. At that moment, he said he was willing to wait for 3 years until I graduate, which is in 2023.
So we agreed to still contact each other, but only once in a while so that my parents won’t find out.
I wanted to go on with that relationship, because it was the only thing that made me happy and I don’t want to let go of the things that make me genuinely happy.
It was tough not being able to talk to him. I missed him a lot for God’s sake and I still do now.
It hurts to see other couples being able to see each other and go on for dates while we were here not talking that often. I was starting to think maybe it was unfair for him.
But sometimes we talked and for both of us, even just by texting each other on Instagram, it was more than enough and it made us happy. I even got to watch him stream his game and even that made me happy. I will definitely miss that too.
In that period, we got to celebrate my birthday together and even our first year anniversary. It made me happy even when I knew, one day we had to put an end to this.
The last time we ever spoke to each other
We called again for the first time in three months. It was the last time we ever called each other.
We talked it through and he said he had been thinking about breaking up, since our relationship was too risky for me. He said he wasn’t sure if he could pull through it.
So we talked about it, accompanied by me crying, knowing that it was the end. He asked, “What will happen after we break up?” and I said, “I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. I’m scared.”
I blurted out, “I’m scared if I can’t go through this pain of not having you anymore.” He told me to be strong and be brave.
The saddest thing ever was that, when I asked him, “Do you still have feelings for me? Do you still love me?” He said he does. He still loves me and still has feelings for me.
He even told me that we met at a wrong time but we were right for each other.
I said I wish I could meet him even for one last time before we end this, but we couldn’t. He told me, it won’t be the last time we’ll ever meet and that we’ll meet again after I graduate (2023).
We ended the conversation there.
Let’s just say it was sad and melancholic. But I was grateful that I got to say everything that I wanted to say to him. And I got to see his face at least for the last time.
Before we parted ways, I made a gift for him for our first year anniversary. It was a handmade embroidery of his favourite anime character.
I am at least happy that he got his gift and he even got the letter that I wrote for him.
I am glad that my final gift for him was something that I made myself. He even told me that he would take care of it and will keep it well.
What will happen to us in the future of 2023?
By the time I write this, it will be a month since our anniversary in October 2020.
Honestly, I don’t know what will happen 3 years from now.
I don’t know if we can meet again. Oh god, I still want to meet him, whether or not we still have feelings for each other.
Part of me still hopes that we still actually like each other. But I know as a matter of fact this boy will always be my favourite boy.
I’ve finally accepted that maybe a part of me will still love him and I will cherish every beautiful memory that we had of each other.
Who knows, 3 years from now if we are really meant to be, we’ll meet again and maybe finally we’ll end up together.
But Persona deserves to meet someone else too, he deserves to be happy and be with someone who he can actually meet.
We’ll never know what the future holds but I hope for the best for me and Persona. I hope we’ll meet again someday in the future.
And that’s my story. Two people so in love with each other, so compatible and so deeply connected with each other but had to be separated due to my parents, maybe at least for now.
For more stories like this, read: Reasons Why You Regret Breaking Up With Your Ex (And Why You Shouldn’t Get Back Together) and I Was In A Situationship – Why I Stayed Till The End
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