You buy her dinner and drinks. You call and text her every day. She texts you back as well, and you wonder if she wants to be more than just friends with you. You share your innermost feelings with her and she does the same with you except…
…she tells you about a guy she just started seeing.
Sound familiar? I hate to break it to you, but you’ve been friend-zoned.
You are feeling confused because you’ve been nice to her. True, you were nice, but were there signals that you wanted to be more than just friends with her?
Guys, I’m going to be straight with you. It’s true that we, women have a reputation for friend-zoning men. But that’s because you’ve been playing it too safe, and we aren’t sure what your intentions are.
I’ve personally experienced this myself. There have been guys who wanted to be more than just friends with me, but they kept giving confusing signals. I wasn’t sure if he wanted to be a friend or boyfriend. They friend-zoned themselves unwittingly.
So, if you’re tired of being friend-zoned, here’s what you need to do right from the beginning:
Make your intentions clear
The key to stay out of the friend zone is to be direct. You don’t have to be aggressive, to a point where it overwhelms her, but make sure your communication is about pursuing her as more than just a friend.
For instance, say, ‘I’d like to take you out to dinner. Are you free this Saturday?’ instead of ‘Wanna hang out for dinner?’ because that’s what friends say to each other.
If she shares the same interest in you, there’s a bigger chance to move into the boyfriend zone. However, if she keeps saying she’s not free, this means she’s not interested to be more than just friends with you. If she does this, don’t waste your time – move on to another girl.
Take the lead
Be the one to initiate things because us women love when men take the lead in planning the date. We don’t want to be the one taking charge.
A few years ago, I was getting to know a guy who showed his interest in me. I was interested in him too but after a few weeks, I got bored because he was always relying on me to decide where to go and what to do on a date. Months later, I learnt from a mutual friend that he was disappointed that I lost interest in him as he was very keen to have a relationship with me. Call me fussy if you like, but he was rather passive in planning dates.
C’mon guys, be a man! If you don’t want to be friend-zoned, then please make the effort in planning the date.
Be affectionate as it gives us the impression that you want to see us in a romantic way. Although you don’t want to be coming on too strong, a slight physical contact indicates to her that you want to be more than just friends. Be subtle, but also be affectionate enough that she gets the hint.
Be honest about your feelings
If you’re attracted to her and can’t stop thinking about her, let her know. If you’re with her for a while and see things being long-term, let her know as well.
Guys, I know you’re afraid of rejection but isn’t it better to suffer temporary humiliation rather than not knowing if she feels the same way about you? When mutual feelings go unsaid, eventually one person will assume that the other is not interested and move on, leaving the other person to wonder why he/she was ‘rejected’.
Just be upfront and honest about your feelings.
These are the rules that you can play to avoid getting stuck in the friend-zone. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t form friendships with women at all or socialize with them platonically. But set some boundaries so that you won’t get trapped in the friend-zone, pining over a woman you can’t have.
Have you been friend-zoned before? Tell us your experiences in the comments below!