Every man has thought of dating an older woman at least once in his life. But how does it feel to actually date an older woman? Is it all it’s cracked up to be? We find out from these three young Malaysian men!
They can be jealous and insecure too
Zubir has always wanted to date a girl older than him. When he first met a lady in her late 30s, it seemed like it was just a crush. He felt that she didn’t pay much attention to him, and only saw him as a friend.
However, after going out a few times, she slowly developed feelings for him. They were together for almost two years, but unfortunately it fizzled out.
Well, to be fair, Zubir liked that she was very cincai (casual) with his slightly lackadaisical attitude towards cleanliness and organization, even though she’s a neat freak and has OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). He also liked that she loves to cook for him as well.
But what he couldn’t stand, was her jealousy and insecurity. Later in the relationship, she started getting jealous more frequently and kept asking him questions like “Do you really love me?” and “Do you find me beautiful compared to other girls?”
Things got worse, and eventually she started insisting that Zubir spend every day with her. When he refused, she accused him of going out with another (younger) lady.
Zubir took part of the blame, admitting that he wasn’t ready to settle down back then. He believes that that contributed to her insecurity, and eventually the breakdown of their relationship.
Age does matter (sometimes)
Charles met his former partner while carpooling to Port Dickson with a group of friends. Initially, he was supposed to have three other passengers with him. However, two bailed out at the last minute, leaving him with alone with her.
During the drive, they had good conversational chemistry. After the journey, he decided to ask her out.
It started off as a fling, but eventually they grew emotionally attached. In the end, they got together officially.
One of the things Charles liked about her was that she didn’t mind footing the bill, which was different from what he was used to while dating younger women.
However, Charles realised the age gap when she didn’t join him for outings. She always refused invitations to BBQ get-togethers, hikings, and meetups with his friends. It surprised him, because Charles did meet her at a picnic trip after all.
Charles soon realized that it was actually the age gap between his friends and her which was the main drawback. While he can connect with her, she finds it awkward to spend time with a much younger group than herself.
He tried to make it work by spending less time with his friends, but Charles felt miserable. Eventually, they both mutually agreed that it wouldn’t work out, and broke up.
The character of the woman you date is more important than her actual age
Iqbal used to think that women in their 30s are mature and know what they want. This cuts out the guesswork for men, which is what he likes.
So when he was asked out on Facebook by a woman in her mid 30s, he got to test that theory.
She flirted with him by asking him if any woman has told him that he’s cute before. Iqbal, intrigued by this bold approach, coyly replied no. Suddenly feeling like the lady in this situation, he decided to man up and ask her out.
She asked to meet him at the kedai mamak, which Iqbal liked, since it shows that she’s not high maintenance and is down for anything. This was eventually proven true even after they officially got together.
Iqbal thinks being simple and straightforward is a rare quality these days, so he appreciates a partner with these qualities.
When asked what’s the downside to dating an older woman, Iqbal does have one complaint. He says she’s always insecure about her appearance, and uses a lot of beauty products to maintain her appearance.
For her however, she’s worried Iqbal would changed his mind and start wanting to have kids, which wasn’t what they both agreed on when they first started dating. Iqbal puts in the effort to reassure her so that it doesn’t strain their relationship.
Iqbal thinks dating an older woman has its advantages, but more importantly, it’s the actual person you’re dating that will make all the difference, and not the age.
Share with us your dating experience!
Have you dated an older woman before? What was it like? Tell us in the comments below!