First dates are a make-or-break deal, so you don’t want to screw it up. Still, it can be tough planning a first date – I mean how much is too much? Or too little? Where do we go? What do I wear?
Well fear not my fellow jantans – we here at IRL are going to give you some practical tips on how to plan a first date in Malaysia. Just listen to us and you’ll be talking about that dreamy first date with your wife on your wedding speech (hopefully).
So, here’s the first thing to do when planning a first date…
K.I.S.S on the first date
While it does sound tempting to take that literally, there’s a reason we added the full stops – it means keep it simple, stupid.
Taking her to Nobu on your first night out may impress her, but from experience, most women shy away from overly fancy first dates.
The reason being that they don’t want to feel like they owe you anything for it.
Dinner at a quiet restaurant, then dessert at your favourite joint is good enough. Ultimately you just want to take her someplace nice, but low pressure. Give her an easy way out if she’s not feeling the date.
On the other hand, don’t make it too simple. Taking her to a mamak is overly casual, and you risk falling into the friendzone. Also, you don’t want to seem like you didn’t put in any effort.
In short, don’t go overboard, but don’t underperform either – aim for someplace you’d take a close friend out for his/her birthday. Keep it to a reasonably-priced place where she can afford to pay for herself, but assume you’re paying for the both of you.
Here’s another thing you should do when planning a first date…
Avoid the movies
I never take a girl out to a movie for a first date. It’s a bad idea.
First, asking a girl to the movies is asking her to make a huge time commitment. With dinner, you’re talking about 3-4 hours that she must spend with you.
So many things could go wrong with that arrangement. What if you discover you guys have no chemistry in the first five minutes? What if she’s the type who talks during movies? What if the cinema’s freezing, she didn’t bring a jacket, you give her yours, and now you’re the one freezing like an asshole?
Also, you can’t know a person by going to the movies with them. You’re seated next to each other, but your attention is focused on a screen. You’ll have spent 3, 4 hours with them, with nothing to build on or talk about after.
The vacuum will make it seem like you guys have no chemistry, but it’s actually just that movies aren’t good conversation starters.
Finally, movies on first dates are a bad idea simply because it’s lazy. There’s no effort involved. You just ask her if she wants to watch so-and-so film, and then buy it on the app.
Don’t forget, women want to feel special. Buying a movie ticket is nice, but not uncommon. Take some time and plan something unusual. If she’s amused by your first date, she’ll look forward to your second one.
Here’s another thing you should never do when planning a first date…
Don’t ask her “Where/what do you want to eat/ go/ do?”
This is a cardinal sin. Never, ever do it.
I mean, in some cases sure, this question is justified, but rarely ever on the first date.
You want to come across as decisive. You want to project an air of confidence and certainty. It’s much more attractive to her to say, “I’m taking you to my favourite restaurant tonight,” rather than asking “So where do you want to eat?”
See, when you ask her to decide for the both of you, again, you seem lazy. I know, most guys do it to be nice, but it sounds like you’re letting her choose so you’re not responsible for how the date goes.
Don’t do that. Take charge. Bring her to a place you decided before the date.
Women love that.
Of course, on the flip side, you don’t want to be overbearing. If she doesn’t like your suggestion, be open to another one. Make a joint-decision to eat somewhere else. Include her in the decision-making process.
My point is, don’t be passive. Show her that you’re not afraid of making decisions.
Finally, here’s another tip for planning the first date…
Make it one-on-one
First dates can be scary, so it’s natural to want to ask your date to come meet your friends or hang out in a group. But please, don’t do this.
First dates should just be the two of you. It’s a chance for you to build intimacy and share yourselves. It’s harder to do that in a group.
Also, you want to make your intentions clear – you’re interested in her romantically. This means possible flirting or getting physical on a first date. You probably don’t want an audience for this!
Coming back to the first point, you want to keep things low pressure. You don’t want her to feel judged or like she has to deal with new people on the first date.
Don’t be afraid of being alone. Just be by yourselves, and let the chemistry work itself out. If it gets awkward, or if you find that you have nothing to talk about, then it simply wasn’t meant to be. After all, isn’t it better to learn that on the first date, instead of the fifth?
And there you have it! 4 practical tips on how to plan for a first date in Malaysia. For all you lucky guys out there heading out on your first date, good luck! We’re all rooting for you.