So, you really like this girl, and you actually scored a date with her!
But now, your heart’s racing, and your stomach’s in knots. You’re scared that you’re going to make an absolute fool out of yourself. Words can’t describe how much you want it to work out.
First dates are always nerve-wracking, and it’s your one chance to make a good first impression. Talk about pressure, right?
But, don’t worry – we got you. Here are four mistakes you shouldn’t make on the first date, according to Malaysian girls.
Don’t be stingy with information
No one likes carrying the conversation. There’s nothing more turning off than giving meaningful answers to his questions, only to get only to get half-assed replies to yours. After all, aren’t first dates all about getting to know the other person? Well, Sherlyn certainly thought so.
Her date with this cute guy at work was a mess. They went out for the classic dinner and movie. Cue the usual questions: What type of music do you like, do you play any sports, what do you do for fun?
Sherlyn answered anything he asked, complete with small quips and personal anecdotes. But when it was his turn, all he had to say were one-word answers, with no follow-up. It made for an awkward and slow date. She was glad when it was time for the movie, just so she wouldn’t have to deal with his awkwardness.
By the end of the date, there wasn’t a connection. She was relieved when she got back home. It was definitely one of her worst dates ever.
He texted her after, asking her out on another date. She said no.
First dates are about establishing a connection. If you can’t open up, it’s hard to feel connected. Share things about yourself—they’re trying to get to know you too.
But always remember,
Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not
This is a huge no-no. Just be yourself, not a version of yourself you think she might like.
It’s a bad strategy. Think about it – how long can you pretend to be someone you’re not? Just be yourself. If she doesn’t like you, move on.
On Mei Yian’s first date with her classmate, he decided to be an asshole. Basically, he played the douchebro card—interrupting her, calling her coin-collecting hobby lame, and spent the entire time talking about himself. She upped and left him in the middle of their date.
They had been texting for two weeks before he asked her out, so she knew it was an act. Whenever they paired up during lab work, or whenever they texted, he was always this shy, sweet guy.
She was excited to go on a date with him. But he decided to be a complete douche instead, which completely pissed her off.
Sure enough, after the date, he sent a long text apologising for his behaviour. He talked about how he was nervous and shy, and how he thought being that kind of guy would get her to fall for him.
While Mei Yian felt sorry for him, she didn’t give him a second chance. It spoke volumes of his self-esteem, and she didn’t want to date someone who was so uncomfortable in his own skin.
With that said,
Don’t try to get physical too fast
Don’t be that guy. Don’t try to weasel your way into her pants when she’s obviously uncomfortable with it. You’ll just look like a major creep. And trust me, if she wants to, she’ll give her consent. You’ll definitely know.
This was Darshini’s worst date, by far. Up until he asked her out, he was the perfect gentleman. Then came their date, and he became an arrogant prick. He kept bragging about how great he is, and insisted she come back to his apartment for a drink.
It didn’t help that he was getting handsy too. He’d put an arm around her, try to hold her hand, and spent the whole dinner brushing his leg up hers under the table.
She told him to stop. Still, even though he apologised, he kept at it. He only stopped once she raised her voice.
By now, all the alarms in her head had set off. She thought of how to get out of there fast. She got one of her friends to fake an emergency and hurried out of there.
Guys, don’t rush it. Don’t go into the date expecting sex, and then get upset when it doesn’t happen. No one likes that guy. All you’re going to do is make her uncomfortable, and that’s not something you want to happen.
And even if the long haul is your game, please
Don’t go too fast. Period.
It’s fine if you really like her. And it’s fine to fantasise about planning the wedding in your head, and wondering how many kids to raise.
But for the love of God, don’t bring any of that up on a first date.
Farah was beyond shocked when her date told her he intended to marry her. It was their first date, and they just met four days ago.
He went on about how he was going to introduce her to his family, and what to name their kids.
Naturally, she freaked. Even though she liked him, she didn’t like him that much. Suddenly, he’s talking about how his mother hates girls who wear nail polish, and she has to remove hers when he introduces her. The pressure was too much, too soon.
She couldn’t even enjoy herself, because she was too busy feeling guilty over having to break his heart. In the end, Farah gently rejected him. It took two months of ghosting, but eventually, he stopped messaging her.
Look, it’s perfectly fine to aim for the long haul—you meet her, and she’s everything you want in your wife. We’ve all felt that at one time or another.
But it’s not okay to bring it up on a first date and expect the feelings to be mutual. Modern dating means having to deal with a lot of uncertainty. You’re going to scare a lot of girls off by moving too fast.
There you have it. four mistakes you shouldn’t make on the first date, according to Malaysian girls. Good luck, and be yourself! It may be cliché, but it is damn good advice.
For more advice on dating, read 5 Mistakes You Shouldn’t Make When Asking a Girl out in Malaysia!