Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life\u2019s sentiments. Get updated on fresh new IRL stories by following us on our Facebook & Instagram. I interviewed a sugar baby to find out more about this clandestine job and how she feels about it. This is her story from her personal perspective. In mid-2020, I got laid off from my part-time job. I was a Year 2 university student, and at the time, I was desperately searching for a job to support myself. After I was laid off, I applied to various jobs from retail to F&B, but no company was keen on hiring. My friend saw the struggle I had to go through and the constant rejection from employers. \u00a0Meanwhile, I noticed she kept getting new bags and clothes almost every month. It was as if the Covid-19 was not affecting her financially in any way. I know her family, and they are not wealthy. In fact, her dad lost his job during the pandemic too. One day, I asked her, \u201cHow are you still able to afford all this despite your father losing his job?\u201d That\u2019s when she confessed her secret. \u201cI found an old man and he pays me to date him\u2026.like a sugar daddy.\u201d I was shocked. I\u2019d never expected that answer out of my own friend\u2019s mouth. I had so many questions. \u201cHow did you become a sugar baby?\u201d \u201cWhat are the things you have to do?\u201d \u201cWhy did you become one?\u201d She patiently answered each in turn. Leaning in conspiratorially, she told me she found him on a dating app (not Sugarbook), and after a few text exchanges, he propositioned her with this request. \u201cI was disgusted, but intrigued. So I thought, why not?\u201d Since then, she has gotten other sugar daddies on her list. What she has to do for each sugar daddy varies. While some men only want sex, others were looking for companionship too. As we were talking, she suggested, \u201cWhy not be one too?\u201d She told me her sugar daddy has a 40-year-old friend that was looking for a sugar baby. If I were interested, she could introduce him to me. As she said this, she looked at me curiously. \u201cAre you thinking about it?\u201d \u201cNo!\u201d I said, a little too forcefully. My knee-jerk reaction was complete disgust. I thought to myself, I would never put myself that low and sell myself. That\u2019s not how my parents raised me; I come from a conservative family that taught me that my image and how society thinks of me is very important, or else I am a \u201cdisgrace\u201d. And no one wants to associate with a disgrace.\u00a0 So I told her I was not interested, and we went our separate ways. Over the next few days, I thought about it more than I\u2019d like to admit In the next couple of days, I mulled over my friend\u2019s proposition. Despite my initial outrage, the thought of my financial worries being solved by going on a simple date was hard to resist. The more I thought about things, the more I realised all the things my parents had warned me about doing \u2014 going out at night, befriending guys, wearing tight clothes \u2014 weren\u2019t that bad. \u201cNever go out at night with strange men \u2014 they could drug you or rape you!\u201d That was the one thing they kept pestering me about. However, that didn\u2019t happen because I knew how to keep myself safe. Maybe I was wrong about sugar babying too, I thought. After all, it\u2019s just me dating an older man, who spoils me with more expensive gifts than an average man my age. Nothing is wrong with that. Who does not enjoy a luxurious lifestyle while dating a mature man? Who does not want to be pampered? I started getting more interested in exploring the lifestyle. The money helped amplify my interest in it too. I googled the experiences of other sugar babies and drew my own conclusions. A few days after, I told my friend \u2018yes\u2019 and she was excited. Meeting my sugar daddy First, my friend gave him my contact details and he texted me. Within a few lines, we went straight into the terms and conditions of our meet up: How much I charged for a \u201cdate\u201d, whether I was willing to have sex, and so on. Since I clicked with my sugar daddy immediately, he decided to give me around RM6k as my monthly allowance. As I got deeper into it, I discovered more about how it works: \tWhen meeting a sugar daddy for the first time, it starts off with \u201cpay-per-meet\u201d terms. \tIf there was chemistry for the long term, the sugar baby would be given a monthly allowance. \tThe more chemistry you have with your sugar daddy, the more you get paid. \tSome sugar babies get \u201craises\u201d as time goes by, like an employee. \tSome sugar babies have sex, some don't. It depends on how comfortable the sugar baby is and how clearly they state their boundaries. It was entirely up to me what we wanted to do. If I just wanted to go for dinner dates, we would. If I wanted to give my sugar daddy a treat, I would. So we went on a few dates. Some weeks, he would want to see me every other day. Other times, I\u2019d only see him once a week. It depended on his schedule and where he was flying off to next. One thing I learnt is that you genuinely have to like your sugar daddy so that things will flow naturally. Dating rules still apply \u2014 would you date a man you do not like? Luckily, my sugar daddy is the type of man I would date. In fact, if he was younger and around my age, I would have fancied him as a partner. It\u2019s been almost 6 months now, and he has already bought me so many things. For Christmas, I got the latest iPhone and a designer handbag. All my life, I have never splurged for myself, so it's nice that I have someone now who likes to do that for me. It makes me feel appreciated and valued. It goes beyond monetary benefits too. Sometimes, when I have an issue with my life, I ask for life advice from an older and wiser man. However, I do not see a future with mine, because at the end of the day, I consider it a job like any other. Developing feelings for my sugar daddy would only lead to heartbreak when he inevitably ends our arrangement. To be a sugar baby you don\u2019t really need any skills \u2014 just the ability to listen attentively The sugar baby industry opened my eyes to a hidden need among older men. Simply put, a lot of them are lonely, and just need companionship, even without the sex. Yes, most of them prefer girls that look younger (between 20-25), so you have to maintain some effort into how you look \u2014 you should look like a 10\/10 at all times. But aside from that, there aren\u2019t really any skills you need to learn to be qualified for the job. As long as you maintain yourself, look presentable and are able to keep up a sparkling conversation, you have what it takes to be a sugar baby. At the same time, you have to be alert and make sure your sugar daddy does not take advantage of you. I have heard some cases of sugar daddies taking advantage of their babies by doing something that they are not comfortable with. Luckily for me, my sugar daddy has been very respectful about my boundaries. He always makes sure I am comfortable and encourages me to speak up when I am not. In the beginning, I used to find it awkward to say no when he makes requests that I am not entirely comfortable with. Instead, I would make excuses, like \u201cI\u2019m tired,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m on my period.\u201d However, now that I\u2019ve gotten to know him more and have gotten out of my shell, I simply say a direct \u201cNo,\u201d when I don\u2019t feel like doing something. It\u2019s a common misconception that you have to do whatever the sugar daddy tells you to because he is paying you. But in reality, it's all about what you are comfortable with and the boundaries. Another thing to understand is to just make sure your sugar daddy is single. Most of the time, the local sugar daddies are single, but the foreigners that have Malaysian sugar babies are usually married with wives back in their home country. It is something you have to be careful about. Since you are putting yourself on the line. It\u2019s not just the possibility their spouse might find out \u2014 \u00a0there are times when the sugar babies fall in love with their daddies. In this case, if the sugar daddy is married, it's only going to get messy. 9 times out of 10, he will choose his wife over you, and you\u2019d be the only one left all alone. The money I earned from sugar babying was crucial in paying for my uni fees. Honestly, with the kind of savings I\u2019ve stashed away, I think I can fully support myself now and not depend on my parents, as long as I keep seeing my sugar daddy. Imagine getting a 6k allowance every month for doing nothing but dating a man, why would you not want that? To top that off, you get occasional gifts and fancy dinners. That money has helped me a lot \u2014 aside from my personal expenditure, I\u2019ve kept 60% of my earnings from being a sugar baby and used it to fund my studies. Without it, I would burden my parents to dip into their life savings, or be forced to drop out of university altogether. If my parents ever find out about my new lifestyle, they would be hysterical. I imagine they would either ask me to drop out of uni and marry a man immediately, or completely disown me. Luckily they live in Kelantan so they can\u2019t monitor my whereabouts, and so far, there hasn\u2019t been any suspicion about how I am suddenly able to afford all these designer clothes and bags. I know that the truth would break their hearts, but how many other girls can say that the person I am dating buys me whatever I want, whenever I want, even if we are not fully committed to each other? Of course, there were some downsides to it. It was not easy at first, going out in public with my sugar daddy \u2014 people would always stare at us judgingly. Once, we were in a restaurant, and these two older ladies were sitting at the table next to us. They were talking to themselves in Mandarin about me, thinking I won't understand. But ever since moving to KL, I picked some Mandarin from having Chinese friends. So I could understand phrases like \u201cbaichi\u201d (stupid) or \u201csao huo\u201d (slut) So I overheard them calling me names like slut, gold digger and, \u201cShe is only dating him because she is just a stupid little girl.\u201d I remember going back home that day feeling so upset. Those words made me feel so insecure and I began to doubt myself. Am I really a slut for just dating an old man? How does that make me stupid? What do they know about my life circumstances? At the end of the day, it is my choice.\u00a0 As a grown adult, I gave my consent and decided to explore this side of the world. Until now, I can honestly say I have no regrets. Yes, it has its cons. Sometimes from a long day, you want to just chill out by yourself, but if your sugar daddy calls, you have to go. Some babies have more than one sugar daddy which can also be hard to handle. Unfortunately, I have not had more than 1 so far because I cannot balance my sugar baby and university schedule when there\u2019s multiple sugar daddies involved. Many would say that I am naive and foolish, that this will never last, and I will find myself left high and dry when the sugar daddy gets bored. But I\u2019m not stupid. I know being a sugar baby does have an expiry date. It\u2019s definitely not a career you can do as you get older. My plan for the future is to get a stable income with my university degree. Once I\u2019ve paid off my study loans and have enough savings to live comfortably, I\u2019ll stop being a sugar baby and pursue my own dreams. As a job, mentally it can be exhausting, and not because of the sugar daddy. You have to be strong enough to ignore the looks that are shot your way when you go out with your sugar daddy. I don\u2019t let many people into this side of my life. A few friends know, but they aren\u2019t fazed by it even though they are not sugar babies themselves. They support my decision and have just advised me to be safe. Just know people are going to judge you no matter what. So, you might as well do what you want and get judged than to continue doing something you don\u2019t enjoy. For more stories like this, read: \u00a0I Spent a Month Using Sugar Daddy Apps, and This Is What I Learned And The Pitfalls of Dating an Older White Man in Malaysia. If you like what you read, follow us on Facebook & Instagram. Edited by Gabriel Gan.