Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
Have you ever watched Netflix’ Bonding and wished you had someone like Rolph? A person who enjoys pleasing his mistress/master by cleaning, and doing whatever house chores you dreaded doing?
Well, I came close to one and I’ll admit, I was super, incredulously tempted to have my very own Man Servant.
It all started when I was bored and like most very single females out there, I went onto Tinder to kill time.
The name ‘Man Servant and Driver’ caught my eye
…or more accurately my curiousity. I swiped right, eager to bombard him with questions.
I don’t exactly remember who started the conversation, but I do remember it happening as soon as I swiped on his profile. Like a 4-year-old, I excitedly threw questions at him non-stop, genuinely trying to understand what, why, and how this whole thing worked.
Here’s a quick breakdown of information if his texts are TLDR;
- Man servants find pleasure serving their master
- They don’t expect pay for doing chores, but would appreciate small monetary token for them to get by day-to-day
- He is willing to do anything, so long it does not include sexual intercourse.
Till today, the one thing he said that surprised me the most is the length he would go to please a mistress.
“What if I cannot afford you?” I asked.
“It’s okay. Any amount will do. If you cannot afford to pay me, I can sleep on the floor and even eat your leftovers,” he answered back.
Perplexed and dumbfounded, I asked again, “Why are you doing this?”
He unwaveringly answered, “I live to please my master.”
He even said I could earn money by renting him out
It seems that he didn’t mind doing work for other people as well and said that I (if I were to be his mistress) could earn side income from it.
I racked my brain, wondering why is this offer too good to be true? And if it were this good, why did his previous mistress give him up?
Just FYI, I did ask what ever happened to his previous mistress, but I can not remember what the answer was – only remember it was vague, so vague I don’t recall the reason.
Who knows? Perhaps she had other commitments or was starting a relationship.
I spoke to this man for a whole 2 hours, texting non-stop as I wanted to make sense of it all. If Bonding was out before this encounter of mine, I’d probably understand much more.
As a person who is born naturally very curious, yes, I was tempted to have him as my man slave and have him serve me. I mean, who doesn’t, right? Plus, it would’ve been a one-of-a-kind experience to make in my life.
Unfortunately, this conversation took place 3 years ago when I still lived with my parents. You can only imagine their faces if I told them I’m bringing home a strange man to serve my every whim… Telling my mom, “Don’t worry, he actually likes it!”
Why did this guy do this?
Till today, I have no idea who that guy was. I knew it was a sort of fetish but at that time, I was too young to understand the ‘kick’ he had out of it.
I spoke to a writer friend who once interviewed a Dominatrix. He laughed and said, in between chuckles:
“The Man in question appears to be living a BDSM lifestyle known as ‘servitude’. He finds a sense of personal enjoyment and peace by being a servant.”
“He knows his limits (of what he will and won’t do) and won’t budge on them, stating it clearly: No sex. This indicates that he knows exactly what he is doing.”
“Given that virtually everything related to BDSM in Malaysia is taboo, I’m impressed how this guy is seriously comfortable with who he is as a submissive. That he has put it out there publicly, even in this fashion, reinforces this.”
I was dumbfounded, yet my questions were still not fully answered. My writer friend scrolled down the screenshots, pausing every now and then to laugh to himself.
“Definitely sounds like he has had at least one Dominant in his life. Given the screenshots, most likely a Domina – a female Dominant.”
“He also seems to have received some form of domestic training, given his wide array of related skills – cleaning, cooking, massage, personal shopper, that’s quite the list.”
“This appears to be RACK (Risk Aware, Consented Kink) and/or SSAC (Safe, Sane And Consented) from his perspective because terms and conditions are clearly outlined.”
“What I find mildly amusing is that the other part (his potential dominant) does not seem to understand what they have is a Domestic Submissive offering their service.”
“But what does he get out of it?” I pressed him, waiting expectantly for an answer.
“What does he get out of it? My best guess is it would be personal. A sense of direction, duty, or purpose in his life.”
“With direction and duty, he would feel that his life has purpose, or a sense of meaning.”
“There’s a lot of psychology in play here. In Europe, a submissive like him would be highly valued by any dominant, and would in turn be taken care of and looked after appropriately.”
“It becomes something of a transactional relationship. He provides a service, and in return he is provided with food, shelter, medical care, and most importantly – A sense of purpose.”
I thanked my writer friend and we parted ways. I thought to myself, I would never let myself become someone else’s slave, or even beg for it from a random stranger.
I wondered what became of this strange guy, and I hope wherever he is, he’s found his Domina and they make each other mutually happy.
Meanwhile, each time I fire up the vacuum or do my dishes, I think about this guy and the missed opportunity he presented!
With thanks to Eristarisis for their contribution to this article.
For more stories like this, read: Safewords and Spankings: What It’s Like Being A Dominatrix In Conservative Malaysia and I Met A Guy With a Foot Fetish And This Is What Happened
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