This is a story of a man who works two jobs to provide for his family. He shares his experience of being the sole provider, the strain it brings, and his desire to change things if he could.
I have three beautiful children whom I love and adore, a wife who does her best, and parents who depend on me. I love them all dearly, but sometimes I just wish I could get up and leave this life behind.
The responsibilities on my shoulders are overwhelming, and most days I go to bed exhausted—only to wake up the next morning and do it all over again.
I work as a warehouse manager in Kepong from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., six days a week. After work, I immediately start e-hailing to earn extra income. I usually grab a quick bite and drive until around 10 p.m. every night, six days a week. Sundays are my only day off.
As a father of three growing children, I have to do what it takes to raise a family. My kids are getting older—my eldest is already 14 and, in a few years, will want to go to university.
Raising kids these days is extremely expensive, especially with tuition classes and all the extra spending that comes with wanting to give your child the best life.
Each Day Feels Like a Burden
From Monday to Saturday, my days start early. By 6 a.m., I’m awake and getting ready to leave for work. By the time I come home, I’m too exhausted to spend time with my family. My wife usually prepares dinner and sits with me while I eat.
We briefly catch up about the kids or school, then she goes upstairs while I watch TV for about 20 minutes. That’s all the time I have before I start falling asleep. I drag myself up to bed, crash for the night, and repeat it all the next day.
Sundays, the day I look forward to every week, aren’t always much better. They’re often filled with family obligations—visiting relatives, shopping for the kids’ supplies, or having my parents come over. Before I know it, it’s time for bed and Monday starts again.
I know my wife is doing her best to keep the family in check and make sure everything runs smoothly. We are partners in raising a family, but it’s been a long time since I felt connected to her. Most days feel lonely because everything at home is always moving so fast.
Running Away
Sometimes, while driving customers, I fantasize about running away—leaving it all behind. My wife, my kids, my parents. Running away to a sleepy beachside town where no one knows me and there are no responsibilities on my shoulders.
I imagine taking a low-paying job with no commitments, just taking care of myself. Some men fantasize about other women—I fantasize about being alone.
Of course, I know these are just daydreams I’ll never act on. I’m loyal—to my family and my children. I do all of this for them, so they can have a better life than I ever had. I have 26 more years until retirement, and it can’t come fast enough. Until then, I’ll just keep dreaming.
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