10 Things INFJs Can Relate To

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INFJ is one of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types. Among the 16, INFJs make up less than one percent of the world population, thus making us hard to understand.

Considering how few INFJs there are, it’s no wonder people tend to misunderstand us. Most of the time, we can’t really find someone to share our thoughts with.

Here’s a list of 10 things INFJs can relate to in our daily lives.

We constantly ask ourselves what we are put on earth to do. (Or rather, how can we help)

Believe us. You cannot even begin to imagine the number of times we have dwelled over this question. We feel a need to see a purpose in our life and all we really want to do is help, help, help.

Sometimes when we lose track of life and when we feel directionless, we find ourselves going back to the same question of whether we should do something beneficial or start thinking of ways to tackle concerning issues.

We often feel misunderstood.

It’s like NO ONE can really understand us or ‘get us’ when we start talking about something. It’s like they can never really grasp what we are trying to express. Sometimes, when we communicate, we have the ability to dig deeper and subconsciously, we know more about a person without really knowing how we know that much.

Most of the time, when we are talking about people, we really are just talking about people. We notice patterns and body language and subconciously use them to better help us in interacting with people. But is it just us or few people do that?

We seek perfection. 

This is true for most INFJs and Virgos. Worst if you’re an INFJ and Virgo combined, so, anyone? ‘Crazy’. We hear that a lot. Most of the time, it’s because we think that things can be done better if the outcome isn’t all that great. And every time we finish something, we are always asking ourselves if it could have been done even better or perfected in some ways, which is a pain for people who are working with us.

But it’s not your fault, we are simply annoyed at ourselves sometimes. Truth to be told, we are never really satisfied no matter how much we have improved or how many have praised us. It’s just an inner torture we commit to ourselves.

We have an outrageously incredible ability to emphatise.

‘No, you don’t understand how I feel.’ Guess what? WE DO. Most of the time, we may remain reserved and unmoved in a conversation when really, what we’re doing is we’re absorbing your emotions as you tell your story and putting ourselves in your shoes at the same time. Because we are masters at feeling what other people feel, the more you tell us, the more we absorb and in turn, the more we feel our own mood taking on yours. So believe us when we say we really do get how you feel.

Our sixth sense is very real.

Many times, people around us may feel like we have some kind of mind-reading ability when we strike at the exact thought they have in mind. We don’t blame you, it’s amusing when we do it really. But this is no magic, it’s because we’re intuitive at heart and another thing which helps us do it is observing. We observe A LOT. Patterns, languages, tones, body language, proxemics, you name it. All these are the essential elements we took note of when nobody else does to help us forecast and make predictions for the future.

We hate people who complain all the time.

Really? We might do it ourselves but the way we see it, most of you are able to make a change and start directing yourself towards a more desirable outcome if you stop complaining and start working on your shit. Who else will help you other than you? Yes, we do like to help but it doesn’t mean we will help you if we can see past your disgusting piece of ‘self-pity’ trait you hid in you. We aim to help but most of all we want to help you help yourself. So unless you do something to change, don’t complain to us about your recurrent problems cause we have no time or energy for any of it.

We don’t do acquaintances and just ‘friends’.

Hands up INFJs if you want to get this out to people before they approach you. NO. We don’t do ‘just friends’, ‘just flirting’, or ‘just acquaintances’. We just don’t. We have a need and that need is to feel fulfilled and connected with whoever we choose to befriend. We hate small talks and pointless conversations. We prefer to have a small circle of friends whom we can talk to about things that really makes us ponder and generate endless possibilities on discussions. We are looking for real, deep connections with the people we choose to associate ourselves to and we prefer long-lasting relationships thank you.

We know when you are lying or faking.

Given our intuition, it’s nothing new. We can smell your fakeness miles away. Maybe that was exaggerating but yes. We can tell when you are lying or faking. So don’t bother putting on a show in front of us unless you want to risk driving us to the edge and forcing us to topple you and your circus show down the cliff. We don’t want and we don’t like to do that. We want to hear the truth and yes, we may be pissed and all but after everything, we will come to appreciate your sensibility and your straightforwardness, which is another trait we like in our friends.

We are one of the most open-minded people you’ll ever meet.

Probably because we tend to think from different sides and we put ourselves in other people’s shoes so we rarely judge. You can tell us anything and we promise we don’t ever judge because our ability to think abstractly would astound you. Now it doesn’t mean that we have no principles or values we hold on to, which we do. It just means our ability to take on other people’s point-of-view is one of the abilities which helps us see things the way the person sees it and makes us less likely a judge of their problems. Even in times of conflict, we find ourselves seeking arguments from both sides to understand the different perspectives of the situation before we assess the problem.

Despite the vibe we give off, we can be very friendly.

We may come off as ice prince and princesses most of the time but wait till you see us with our close friends. We can totally burn the place down. That’s how warm-hearted we are. We may appear cold and detached whenever we are with someone we barely know but we sometimes tried to make ourselves appear warmer. We just just aren’t good in any of this. We hope that people will try to understand us and open up to us because we will always be lending an ear regardless of how we look to them. But then you are of no fault if you have opened up to us and we did not do the same to you right away.

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