A Malaysian man has taken to social media to vent about feeling emotionally drained in a five-year relationship, despite shouldering the bulk of the financial responsibilities throughout.
He has been carrying most of the costs
The man described himself as someone who is not perfect but has always tried his best as a partner. He regularly pays for outings, gives generous red packets during festive seasons and makes an effort to celebrate special occasions.
When his girlfriend bought a car a few years ago, he was initially asked to cover half the installments but over time ended up paying for almost everything, including the insurance.
He also noted that his girlfriend used to earn a high income before the pandemic and was accustomed to a premium lifestyle, and that even after her earnings dropped significantly, her spending habits remained the same.
RM90,000 spent on trips together
Both of them enjoy travelling and go overseas at least once or twice a year.
He estimated spending around RM50,000 on a Europe trip two years ago and RM40,000 on an Australia trip last year.
Despite the high costs, he said he never once complained as he believed money could be earned back and that the time spent together mattered more.
However.
even during these trips, small disagreements would escalate and make the experience stressful.
Small things that became too much
He shared two specific incidents that stayed with him.
In one, he was feeling dizzy and unwell but still drove a long distance.
His girlfriend asked him to pack some food into a bag, which he did not hear clearly.
When she realised it was not done, she threw the food away and scolded him.
In another incident, she asked him to buy her a drink at a petrol station but refused to help purchase it while he was refueling.
When he did not stop again later, she scolded him for that too.
At the start of the relationship, he tried to communicate and reason things out, but his girlfriend reportedly told him that “winning an argument means losing the girlfriend.” Since then, he chose to stay silent during conflicts.
He described the relationship as “everything falling apart”, small issues kept piling up until nothing felt easy anymore.
Reaching his limit
The man said he has now reached his breaking point. He described his girlfriend’s tone during arguments as hurtful and said he feels emotionally exhausted.
“I am willing to give because I love her,” he wrote, but questioned whether being a man meant he had to accept such treatment, saying “I feel like going crazy.” and whether love should require enduring constant scolding.
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