A Malaysian woman shared on Threads that she has stopped preparing meals for her husband after growing exhausted by what she describes as a deeply unequal financial arrangement that has been getting worse for two years.
The post, in which she asked whether she was wrong for what she had done, quickly drew thousands of responses from people who had opinions on both sides.
What RM350 is being asked to cover
The woman said her husband gives her RM350 a month for household expenses, an amount she described as barely enough given that she is also personally shouldering the cost of electricity, WiFi and their child’s school expenses.
While she covers these ongoing costs from her own salary, she said her husband regularly takes salary advances throughout the week for his own personal spending but has never once offered to buy her food.
“I’m tired of preparing food for my husband. It feels like he is taking advantage of me and my salary,” she wrote.
She now buys food only for herself and their child. Her husband eats on his own.
Nine years of marriage
The couple have been married for nine years. The woman said things were manageable in the beginning, and that her husband previously gave her between RM1,000 and RM1,200 a month.
Over the past two years, that amount dropped steadily, falling first to RM350 and at times as low as RM150. She said she is not entirely sure of his actual salary because he has taken so many advances from it that even she, who holds his bank card, cannot determine what is left.
The couple have attended counselling, where the officer advised them to try reconciling first before taking any further steps.
She also acknowledged that for a long time she brought home good food for the family despite the limited contribution from her husband, because she genuinely did not mind spending on the people she loved. What changed was the realisation that the generosity was being taken for granted rather than appreciated.
What netizens said
Many who responded to the post sided with her, with some saying it was fair that she had stopped cooking and others going further by suggesting it would be better to remain single than stay in an arrangement like the one she described.
A separate group urged her to take a more practical approach first, advising the couple to sit down together and go through his actual salary, fixed monthly commitments and remaining balance to determine whether a fairer contribution was possible.
The woman responded to those commenters by saying that even with access to his bank card, the frequency of his advances made it nearly impossible to get a clear picture of his finances.
The assumption that a wife’s salary exists to fill the gaps her husband’s salary leaves behind, and that she should keep showing up regardless of what comes back, is something a lot of Malaysian women in dual-income households will recognise without needing it spelled out.
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Read also: ‘I gave up my family to pursue my dreams’ Shares 34 YO M’sian woman – In Real Life
‘I gave up my family to pursue my dreams’ Shares 34 YO M’sian woman
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