Call it biological, or call it years of watching Hollywood movies – somehow, we’re always bogged with this quest to find ‘The One’.
Have you ever watched a movie and thought ‘Damn it would be perfect if this character found a partner in the end?’.
Like, the character was so good that you wanted him/her to be at the END GAME by finding The One? Yeap, that’s what I did. I’m a sucker for romance, and I always daydreamed of how my ‘The One’ will be.
Now I do believe that everyone can find ‘The One’, and I also believe that in one’s life, there can be several ‘The Ones’. However, the search can be confusing, and you can meet people who are there-but-not-quite-there. It makes you doubt if you’re actually dating the right person.
So how do you know If you’ve found ‘The One’? Firstly,
I once went for a wedding where a fellow attendee whispered to me ‘I’m not sure if they’ll end up happy, they seem to fight a lot’. Countless studies have shown that fighting is actually good for your relationship. So don’t go ending things just because you fight.
Fighting usually happens when you talk about serious stuff, and the things that matter to you. When you don’t fight, you’re not really communicating about what upsets you, which is even worse.
So yes, arguments are a healthy sign that you’re with The One. Sadly, real life isn’t a Disney movie where you never see Cinderella and Prince Charming argue.
I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t fight with my partner. The truth is we argue regularly, and as much as it makes us uncomfortable, we hash out all the nasty stuff that’s bothering us. But we do try to come to a happy compromise and see how to move forward from there.
You See A Future with Him or Her
If that person is The One, you not only see a future with that person; you genuinely WANT that future.
You find yourself daydreaming about what life is like if you lived together. Even if it’s the most mundane things, like sending the kids to school, cooking dinner together, living together – the thought of it all gets you genuinely excited.
But more importantly, you’re able to see a stable home together. I love to daydream about what life will be like with my partner, but I also know that marriage is not a bed of roses. There are bound to be fights, struggles, and hardships.
If you know that it isn’t going to be easy, and yet you still want a future together, then that person is definitely The One.
I have a friend who dated a lot of people, and never saw a future with any of them. Finally, she met one guy she actually saw a future with. Usually, if you can’t picture living your whole lives with your partner, it’s cause for alarm.
You Trust Them (and Vice Versa)
Relationship is all about trust, as it has been said time and time again.
Trust is a big thing. Because it means letting someone take control of your feelings, and it means loving with the possibility of getting hurt. But you do it anyways, because you have faith that your partner will never do anything to hurt you.
In all honesty, my partner took a while to trust me. He generally isn’t the type to open up to people, and even now he still finds it difficult. I remember having so much difficulty trying to fish out details about his family and past. With the patience of a saint, I let him open up slowly. Eventually, he let me in on the little details of his life.
You Have Similar Life Goals
It’s important to discuss your goals in a relationship. As much as chemistry is important in a relationship, the truth is that if your partner doesn’t want the same things in life, then they’re not The One for you.
I knew a friend who wanted children, but her partner did not. Hence, after much discussion, they broke up. Neither would budge on their opinion, and it was a deal breaker for both parties.
Life goals also shows attitude, and it is not a good sign if one partner is lazy and the other is a go-getter. Many couples actually break up because while everything else is great, their key morals and values clash.
If you have a clashing opinion with your partner, it’s not the end of the world! Now is a good time as any to discuss key values with your partner.
Lastly, They Feel Like Home
If you find someone who makes you feel comfortable, and someone you can talk to on just about anything, then you know you’ve found a rare partner indeed.
Partners are supposed to lift each other up, and they’re supposed to be home away from home. They are also supposed to be someone you can count on when things get rough, and they can also rely on you if the situation is reversed. That is essentially what family members do for each other.
A sure sign that someone is meant for you, is when you can leave your family and live with that someone, as if you have known that person all your life.
I’d never ever thought that I could do that, but when I met my very own ‘The One’, it felt like the most natural thing to do.
There are many other characteristics on knowing when you’ve found The One, but these are the ones which apply to me. If you’ve found him/her, then you’re certainly lucky! If you haven’t, keep looking because they might just be around the corner.
For more articles by Kimberly, read Why You Should Celebrate Being Single – Advice from Someone in a Relationship, and 5 Ways to Handle an Emotional Boss.