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Onlyfans is an online platform that allows users to upload pictures and videos. The content is behind a paywall, so the content creators get paid directly for their content. Much of the content is of an adult nature, which has attracted controversy around the platform.
I was curious about this business, so I interviewed an Onlyfans creator to find out more about her day-to-day job, and how she feels about it. This is her story from her personal perspective.
Hi, my name is Roxxy, and I am an Onlyfans creator.
Roxy (Not her real name) posing for the camera.
I have been creating adult content for Onlyfans for 6 months.
When I tell someone I am an Onlyfans creator, they usually assume that I am only in it for the money.
Yes, the money is one of the biggest perks – but my reason for selling pictures in Onlyfans is completely personal.
Onlyfans has been around for some time now, but I only heard about it in 2020.
In 2020, a lot more people started talking about it as a way to make some quick cash if you were fired from your job – and there was a lot of that going around that year.
Every post I saw on social media was something related to Onlyfans. When I researched it and realised what it was, I remembered thinking, this sounds really fun but there’s no way I could do it.
At the same time, I was in a serious relationship with a guy who later turned out to be very insecure and controlling.
After a few weeks of us getting together, he would voice his ‘concerns’ (more like unsolicited opinions) on what I should wear when we go out together, what I should post on social media, and even who I should be friends with.
Image via Unsplash, for illustration purposes.
Knowing him, I knew that creating an Onlyfans account was out of the picture. Even telling him about it would just create complete chaos.
During the MCO, the app TikTok started surging in popularity, so I jumped on the bandwagon and started creating dance and trending videos on my own.
At first, my boyfriend was totally cool with it, but when my follower count started to grow, he started voicing his usual ‘concerns’.
For example, he didn’t like that there were other men watching my videos and following me. He would say things like, “For your own safety, shouldn’t you cover up?” or “It’s disrespectful to me when other men comment or like your videos.”
It was frustrating and annoying. I really enjoyed making those videos, but now because of how other people feel about it, I have to stop?
Yes, there were sexually-charged comments that did make me feel uncomfortable as well. But how is it my fault when I was just trying to have a good time?
Eventually, I stopped making TikTok videos to keep the peace within the relationship. We did do a couple of TikToks together as a couple, but it just wasn’t the same.
2 months later, I discovered my boyfriend had cheated on me
One day, I got a message from my friend asking if my boyfriend and I had broken up.
She was a friend that my boyfriend had never met before, so I was surprised to hear from her, let alone this particular question.
I replied “No? As far as I’m concerned, we are still going strong.” But then she said, “Just take a look at this.” And she sent me a screenshot.
A screenshot of my boyfriend’s Tinder account.
At first, my gut feeling was to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it was just someone trying to catfish using his picture – After all, it’s so easy to pretend to be someone on the internet these days.
But right after that, my friend sent me the following screenshot – where his real Instagram account was linked to his Tinder account.
For those unfamiliar with Tinder, it gives you the option to link your Instagram to your dating profile. This requires knowledge of your Instagram log in details, something which a catfisher would never know unless they managed to hack into my BF’s phone – so that’s how I knew it really was my boyfriend’s account.
I immediately called her on Facetime, and we hatched a plan for her to play out this scenario to see how far he was willing to go.
I told her to swipe right and luckily, they matched.
She started texting and flirting with him, acting as if she had no idea who he was, and he reciprocated.
In the span of 15 minutes of talking to her, he asked her for her Instagram and right after that, he straight-up asked her out on a date!
That’s when reality hit me: My boyfriend is cheating on me. I did not know whether to cry or be mad. All I knew was I needed an explanation that instant.
I confronted my boyfriend
Image via Unsplash
I called him up and told him to come over. This was a conversation that had to happen face to face. He knew something was up by my tone, but I didn’t tell him what it was about.
When he came over and I showed him the screenshots, his jaw dropped and his cheeks flushed red. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights.
I demanded that he pull out his phone and show me everything. At first he tried to refuse, saying it was an invasion of his privacy, and that he “loves me and would never do such things.”
When I stood my ground and insisted on seeing his phone, he gave up trying to argue and unlocked it.
As I went through the phone, my heart sank. His DMs were filled with him messaging not just my friend, but dozens of girls.
The whole time I was doing this, he started to cry and kept saying over and over about how he loves me and that this was a mistake.
Seeing him shed real tears did make me feel bad. I thought to myself, ‘Maybe he does regret it and is afraid of losing me now.’
But then I asked him “Why? Why cheat on me?”
It was then that my boyfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, “You look different from when we started dating. You gained some weight during the pandemic… it was getting hard to still be attracted to you physically.”
Those words were the last straw. I know I am not the prettiest person out there, especially compared to some micro-influencers on Instagram. But hearing these words coming from my own boyfriend was heartbreaking.
To be honest, they completely broke my self-esteem. His words hurt me so badly, it knocked off the rose-tinted glasses I was wearing, and I finally saw clearly for the first time: He did not deserve me.
I kicked him out of my house, and I proceeded to cry my eyes out for days.
One day, I said enough.
It was 3 weeks after I had been crying about my appearance. I looked in the mirror, pulled myself together and said, “Enough moping around. From now on, I will think only good thoughts.”
Image via Unsplash
I started working out to help me love myself. I did planks, I began eating more clean and cutting down on sugary drinks. It was extremely hard, but even after just one week, I could see changes in my body. With each passing day, I regained confidence in myself.
One day, I was scrolling through my Instagram when I stumbled upon a TikTok video. I remembered the joy I had making and posting them, even though some still made me cringe.
The only reason I stopped was because of my ex-boyfriend. Why don’t I start again?
I started posting TikToks again, and soon got more followers and DMs on Instagram. It felt nice to know that there were people out there who actually found me physically attractive, unlike what my BF told me.
Most were the usual thirsty comments – either sexualising me, or flattering me with compliments – but there were a few that stood out to me: The ones asking if I have an Onlyfans account, or telling me I should have one.
As petty as it might be, part of the reason I got back into TikTok was to take revenge on my ex-boyfriend. I wanted him to see my videos, to know that I’m getting all the attention he was uncomfortable with.
So I started doing more research about Onlyfans and how it works.
Apparently, all you need to do is sign up with your email address, put up a display picture, key in your banking or e-wallet details, and you can start uploading videos.
I had an advantage since I already had a following on social media, so it wasn’t going to be hard to make money out of it. But I was still nervous.
I thought about starting an Onlyfans everyday for weeks before I said, “Screw it” and opened an account.
I started making around RM 4k every month
I honestly didn’t expect to be making approximately RM 1k every week. Honestly, I did not think anyone would subscribe at all.
In the beginning, I was very shy to post myself fully nude, so I would take pictures of myself wearing lingerie, bouncing on a bed or wear white clothes and stand under the showers.
And people subscribed, which gave me a real confidence boost in my body. At the time, I was making about RM 300 – 500 every week.
Eventually, I started getting more comfortable being naked around the camera. To make it more professional, I would set up my room with candles and lights for a better aesthetic and set the mood for me.
Investing in a tripod really helped too since I took my own pictures. I edited my photos with online photo editing software like CS6.
Next, I started posting on Twitter to promote my Onlyfans. It’s the only social media platform I use to promote my business because my Twitter account is followed only by my friends, and they were surprisingly very open-minded about it.
It’s not really a secret within my friend circle, although with my parents, I hide it from them. They’re quite traditional and I don’t think they would want to know or see pictures of their daughter naked.
They would think of me as a disgrace or slut-shame me without seeing the other side of doing Onlyfans.
To me personally, it’s empowering and makes you feel so confident in your own body. As a woman, I am constantly sexualised by people anyway – on the street, at the workplace, by male friends and male strangers alike – so what’s wrong if I earn money from it?
Image via Unsplash
People always have an issue with someone doing Onlyfans or any sex-related work. But they don’t have an issue with the constant sexualisation of women in media, TV shows, and movies.
Why is it that, now that regular women have the choice to profit over it, suddenly it’s bad?
After I started promoting it on Twitter, more people started subscribing, and my income skyrocketed. Now, I make around RM 4k monthly and it’s my sole source of income.
One thing I learnt early on is that you have to be able to feel yourself and feel confident in front of the camera. I’ll usually take a lot of pictures in one day, so that on days when I’m not feeling it, I don’t have to force myself to put on my makeup and pose.
I am only angry that I did not start my Onlyfans account sooner
I hope my ex-boyfriend has seen my Twitter and seen how well I am doing because of something he insulted me about – my body.
It’s funny how all this started as a way to throw his opinion back in his face, but in the end, I netted a tidy profit from it and felt so empowered at the same time.
In the future, I know this may potentially close some doors from employers who may feel my work history goes against their principles or image.
But there are many adult content creators who move on to another phase of their lives and have successful careers and families, without the stigma attached to them.
As such I can honestly say I have no regrets.
Selling pictures online made me realise I am beautiful and hot, no matter who disagrees with me. It was because of Onlyfans I feel more comfortable and proud in my own skin now.
Despite still having some excess fat here and there on my body, I am still beautiful.
I realised I should just do whatever you want, as long as it’s not hurting anyone. I learned to just say f**K it and do it, don’t overthink it and never listen to what others have to say.
For more stories like this, read: I Spent a Month Using Sugar Daddy Apps, and This Is What I Learned And I Used to Work in the “Service” Industry. It Was One of the Most Empowering Experiences of My Life.
Edited by Gabriel Gan.
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