This story is about a lifelong friendship tested by loss, loyalty, and resentment, and how one man honored his promise to the person who stood by him—only to be cast as the villain by the family she left behind.
Syaqirah and I were childhood friends. She was the first person I told when I figured out that I was gay at seventeen. She hugged me, and told me that I was still me 100%. We were close for the last 40 years, through every large and small thing that life threw at us: SPMs, university exams and projects, our respective heartbreaks. My HIV scare, the birth of her son and daughter. Her divorce some 20 years later because she cheated.
When things got really bad in the aftermath of her divorce – she owned her mistakes, and didn’t fight when her husband wanted a divorce – I just told her to move in with me. And she did. Her adult children did not approve.
Her Children
I had known Amirul and Mazlina since they were born and while both of us tried talking to them, they would not even listen, let alone have a conversation. Instead Syaqirah and I spoke, argued and agreed: I would minimize contact with her children.
I never understood their issues about mine and Syaqirah’s relationship. But I didn’t want to be the one that damaged their relationships with each other. It hurt, because I had always been part of that extended family of uncles that is around. But I had no blood connection or any other claim to them.
Cancer
For the last five or six years of her life, she fought cancer, her children were not a part of mine. She went through her savings, making sure that they were provided for, especially during the pandemic, which was hard on all of us. Syaqirah continued to live in my apartment, had her own room and I supported her financially. Cancer will do that.
Her family had cut her off in the aftermath of her divorce, and cancer didn’t soften their dislike of her. I quietly transferred money to her and I never once asked where the money I gave her went, or about the charges on the subsidiary credit card. I know she spent it to see her children and provide for them. I know that she made a trip in her final months to our kampung in Port Dickson.
Of Money and Wills
Money matters little to me: I made my fortune and money was worthless to me when Syaqirah passed away in January, 2026. I was at her funeral, and I’ve visited her grave at least once a month, just to talk to my oldest, closest and dearest friend.
Syaqirah had no savings: No estate, no investments. Nothing monetary. Medical bills would have killed her long before the cancer. All she had to give her children were personal and sentimental items that she left neatly organized in her room. Just two identical bags, with name tags. I did promise I would keep them until her children wanted them.
I saw her children at the funeral and spoke to them briefly after the burial, to offer my condolences and tell them that I had personal things from their mother to pass to them when they were ready.
I mourned
Otherwise, I kept my distance, keeping my promise to Syaqirah. I solo-travelled to mourn her passing. I spent the entirety of Chinese New Year exploring Thailand, taking photos of the sights with Syaqirah’s (now ancient) DSLR D3500. It was something she had always wanted to do: Travel and photograph the world.
When I landed, and turned my phone back on for the first time, I found my phone was flooded with missed calls and messages from both of her children. They started politely, about trying to reach me to collect what their mother had left them, then assumed I was just ignoring them, which was when the messages turned rude and disrespectful.
They said their father blamed the divorce on me, as if I slept with their mother. The irony of that was not lost on me: My sexual orientation had never come up. Ever. Because I didn’t want that to become some kind of thing. But now it seemed that I was or am their homewrecker.
Everything is MY Fault?
I got home, and lala moved the bags to their homes. Once delivery was confirmed, I messaged them, and told them I did not want to hear from them ever again. I pointed out that I had nothing to do with the divorce and had loved their mother as a sister since childhood. Then I blocked them.
Their father called me a short while later, told me I was being petty and vindictive and that “the least I could do is give my children whatever their mother left them.” I actually laughed. If I had not paid for her health insurance? All she would have left was debt.
I told him that I had given everything that she left for them. I told him that her children had never contributed to her medical expenses. I snarked that Sunway Medical’s a lot more expensive than PPUM. He went quiet at that revelation, and hung up shortly thereafter. Seems like there’s a web of lies that he needs to untangle. I blocked him too.
Good Bye, My Friend.
I know I did good by my friend who I loved and cherished. Yes she made her mistakes and I think she paid for them. I did my best to be a good uncle to her children. And I owe them nothing. I am done with all of them.
Those Thailand photos turned out great. Syaqirah would have loved them. I left a few of the best ones at her grave when I visited last week. I hope her camera captures something wonderful, wherever I travel to next.
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Read also: ‘I gave up my family to pursue my dreams’ Shares 34 YO M’sian woman – In Real Life
‘I gave up my family to pursue my dreams’ Shares 34 YO M’sian woman
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