Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments
Valentine’s Day, a day where loved ones express their affections with gifts like chocolates, flowers, etc.
A day where everyone is just a little bit nicer to each other. However, that is not the case all the time.
Sometimes Valentine’s day isn’t the best day for someone, so I gathered stories of people who had a terrible time during Valentine’s day.
1. Losing the game started hurting his fragile ego
His friends decided to bring their girlfriends and spend Valentine’s Day altogether, as a big group. They decided to go bowling, play a few rounds of games, and then dinner.
I was a very shy and introverted person so it took a lot of convincing from my boyfriend to get me to agree to go. He even promised me we would not stay that long.
Valentine’s Day rolled by and he picked me up. Throughout the whole time, I was talking about how nervous I was to see his friends. He reassured me, saying that he would prioritise my comfort.
So I felt that I’d have him there to fall back on. If I start feeling uncomfortable, at least he’ll be there to help me.
Who knew he would be the one to put me in that position?
When we went bowling, to help me feel more at ease and confident, he let me get the upper hand in the 1st game.
I felt like he would purposely roll the ball off to the gutter in a few rounds, so I can get more points.
In the 2nd round, I noticed he was a bit more serious but I still won the game. It was 2-0.
All the couples were 1-1 except for us. Hence, his friend started making fun of him.
They were saying stuff like “stop going easy on her” or “how do you feel losing to a girl.”
I could tell he was getting a bit annoyed with the whole situation, especially since with his friends he was always the best at bowling.
However, I didn’t know if he was frustrated because he was losing or because of his friends.
We had a final round to play, and he pulled me aside and told me to go easy on him. I was quite offended since it’s just a game. Couldn’t he just be happy that I was winning?
Despite that, I did pity him, so I started going easier. In the beginning, I played normally and was winning but then after a while, I stopped putting effort while he was putting in his 100%.
We did this so that his friends don’t suspect anything.
However, in the 3rd round, I still ended up beating him. I could tell this hurt his ego. He gave up on bowling and insisted on a game of pool.
He started giving me the cold shoulder. I didn’t understand why since it was just a game. And as my boyfriend, he should have been happy for me.
I agreed to one game of pool even though we were all hungry and getting late for dinner.
During the game of pool, some of his friends’ girlfriends would cheer for me and he would just glare at them. His reaction was ridiculous and embarrassing.
In the end, I ended up beating him again.
His friends just told him to deal with it, since at this point we were all so hungry. We went to the restaurant and sat at our table. He sat next to me, and every time I would say something he’d just look the other way.
After ordering our food, he said wanted to go to the toilet and left me with his friends.
I was not close to any of them, and all the couples were mostly talking within themselves so I just sat there quietly, looking down at my phone.
A while later, the seat next to me was still empty. No one realized or even if they did they didn’t say anything. I was not sure whether I should text him or give him some space.
The food arrived and that’s when one of his friends asked me to text him where he is.
The conversation went like this:
I tried calling him, but instead of picking up the call I just received a message from him.
“I don’t want to talk.”
I could not get him after, I think he switched off his phone.
I wanted to cry, I could feel the tears roll down. I went to the toilet, cried, and returned to the restaurant.
I felt so embarrassed and I just wanted to leave but I was stuck with his friends, people who I didn’t know. It made me feel as if a game was more important to him than me.
Being a sore loser to the extent of his ego getting hurt and leaving me was immature.
His friends asked me where he was, and I told them everything. They felt bad for me and were so disappointed with their friend.
They tried to make me feel as comfortable as they could. It was so awkward, I don’t think they knew how to react to this situation too.
At the end of the night, I took a cab back home and just blocked his number.
I knew I deserved a man better than that. I deserve someone who doesn’t get hurt by a friendly game of bowling. Someone who can accept losing to a girl, even if he was known to be the best at it.
I still wonder if he was upset because he lost or was it because he lost to a girl. I think it’s the latter and it affected his fragile masculinity.
Years have passed, I found a man who is not only happy for me when I succeed but also encourages me.
2. I found out she cheated on me when I proposed to her
My girlfriend and I were dating for 8 years. She was my best friend, my travel partner, and my person. She was my everything.
For a year, she always seemed down. I didn’t understand why.
She would always be so hard on herself and say stuff like ‘you can do better than me.’ I would completely disagree with her because to me she was everything I could ask for.
I wanted to make her feel good about herself or at least make her believe that I love her and she is the only person I want.
To do something so she will feel secured and knows that I will never leave her. We have always talked about settling down with each other. I thought maybe that’s why she is upset that we have been dating for so long but I still haven’t put a ring in her finger.
I decided to propose. A big proposal in front of friends and family so that she knows I am not ashamed of her. I wanted to do a huge gesture of love.
After brainstorming every detail, and planning everything. I found the perfect date to pop the question, Valentine’s Day.
I gathered all of our friends and loved ones and told them about my plan. Everyone was ecstatic and excited. After all, we have been dating for 8 years, most of them saw this day coming.
A couple of our friends started helping plan the proposal. Some would help with invitations, some with finding the locations, and just the other minor things.
The plan was we would tell my girlfriend that it’s a friend’s birthday. We found a restaurant and booked an event room. We would gather there, and then after we finish our food, I would ask her the question.
It was all coming together perfectly.
14th February came, I was nervous and everything was going according to the plan. We finished eating, and the lights dim, music played, and I got down on my knee and I proposed.
Just like how I thought, she said yes. We hugged, everyone, applauded. It felt like I was dreaming.
She hugged me, and whispered to my ear “Can we go?” and I said, “No the party is here, let’s celebrate with everyone.”
My girlfriend looked at me straight in my eyes and said “No, we have to go.”
I could tell something was wrong so I went with her. We went outside the restaurant and I insisted that she tell me what was wrong.
She just seemed sad. All these thoughts kept running in my mind, “Did she not want to marry me?” and “Was it too soon to propose?”
It hit me something was not right. I just kept asking her what’s wrong, trying to fix whatever it is and make it right.
That is when she hit me with the truth, “I slept with your best friend.” My heart sank. I was shocked.
My best friend? The one that I have been friends with for over 10 years? The one that came to the party and told me how happy he is for me?
I could not believe it, I didn’t want to believe it. My best friend and my girlfriend? How could the two most important people in my life do such a thing?
She sobbed while apologizing, but I felt so betrayed by both her and my best friend, I could not look past it to reassure her.
It felt like my heart was being torn into pieces. I called my best friend and asked him to come out of the restaurant.
I needed to hear the truth from him too. When he came, he saw my ex-girlfriend crying and me furious. I think he knew what we were talking about but still tried to hide it.
I asked him if what she was saying was true if that happened. He looked like a deer in headlights.
His whole face went pale and he did a slight nod.
It took everything in me to just not punch him across the face. He pretended to be all happy for me during the whole process of planning the proposal.
He was fine with me living with my life without finding out the truth. I just had to walk away and be alone.
After a while, I went back to the restaurant, my best friend and girlfriend nowhere to be seen. I paid the remaining bill and left.
I drove around, crying before going back to my apartment. My ex-girlfriend was not there, I don’t know where she stayed at night, could be with my best friend, I have no idea.
I could barely sleep that night, I stayed up crying, hurt because of their actions. Eventually, I fell asleep.
Everyone else must have been very confused that night, I got tons of messages the next morning, questioning our disappearance.
The only messages that stood out to me were my girlfriend’s and my best friends’. I ignored their messages and just texted my ex to take all of her things and move out.
From that day, Valentine’s Day has been an uneasy day for me. My heart sinks whenever it’s around the corner.
Maybe I read the signals wrong for proposing, or maybe I was just naive and should have gotten the hint when she kept saying “you can do better than me,” but I have stopped asking myself why they did what they did.
Trying to get a reason is trying to justify their reasons, which is unjustifiable. What they did was unfair especially all those years that I have stuck by them.
Now, I just have a hard time building relationships and trusting people. Every day, I convince myself not everyone is like that and it’s still a work in progress.
Sometimes I push people away before they can get too close to me because I am scared of getting hurt. I used to wear my heart on my sleeve but now just opening up is difficult.
I realised it’s an issue I have to work on and I am more cautious about my actions. Nowadays when the thoughts of pushing people away come in my head, I try to ignore them as much as I can.
For more stories like this, read: What Could Go Wrong on Valentine’s Day — As Told By Malaysians and Are Malaysian Men Intimidated by a Confident Woman?
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