5 Ways to Better Use Tinder (From an Ex-Tinderer Herself)

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Using Tinder is no easy feat.

For those who use the app regularly, you’d know the scary feeling of overthinking what to say, or the horror of swiping left on someone you wanted to swipe right (yeap we’ve all been there!).

But more importantly, Tinder can get exhausting when you find yourself going on dates after dates and still not finding that special connection. So how do you become a ‘Tinder Success Story’?

Based on my own experience, and a few conversations with friend, here are my 5 tips on how one can use Tinder better.

Tip 1: Know What Your Aim Is

Almost everyone goes to Tinder with an aim. Maybe it’s to find long-term love, or to have a better dating life, or even for a ONS. While nobody is judging your intention on Tinder, it’s important for you to remember what you’re there for. When I first started Tinder, this was my aim:

1. Find someone special

2. Meet more people of the opposite sex

Sounds easy right? NOPE. I had wasted so much time with men who clearly had intentions for only sex, or just to chat on the app for my attention and time. At that time, my naïve self thought that chatting with them might change their minds. Not only did that NOT HAPPEN, the whole process left me disappointed and frustrated.

If you want to find a long-term relationship, then don’t let anyone persuade you into short-term sex. TRUST ME, there’ll be a lot of people there who will try to confuse you and dissuade you from what you want. So stick to your standards, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. After all, there are plenty of people who are looking for the same things as you, so soldier on!

Tip 2: Don’t Compete with Your Friends

The moment I told some of my friends that I was on Tinder, it’s common to have this question thrown at me: How many matches have you gotten so far?

Seriously?!? It’s like Facebook and Instagram ‘Likes’ all over again! It’s never a healthy thing to seek validation on social media. I’ve met people who would constantly talk about the countless dates they went with various hot men/woman, and guess what? Last I checked, they’re still single. So take note – while it’s tempting to compete, don’t take the bait.

Someone may have more matches than you, but it doesn’t make their dating life better. If you find yourself showing off with your own number of matches, stop yourself and try supporting each other instead. Getting 1000 matches doesn’t make anyone hotter, which brings me to my next point,

Tip 3: Quality Over Quantity Y’all!

In dating, it’s important to give your time and attention to those who deserve it. This is especially true for those who are going on Tinder to look for long-term relationships (which let’s face it, is the majority of us). My advice is to go on fewer dates, and not go with just any guy or girl who asks you out.

Spend time chatting and getting to know the person first before you go out on a date. If you’re feeling like you’re going out on too many dates but not meeting anyone special, you might be focusing on quantity, but not really attracting anyone of quality.

 

Tip 4: Assholes are real. Be prepared to meet many of them online, and then say bye.

Online dating is a scary thing, and it’s normal to find yourself meeting less-than-pleasant people. I once matched with a man who would regularly text and flirt. He would text me every morning and throughout the day, but somehow my intuition told me something was amiss.

When I did some cyber search on his Facebook account, I found out that he was actually married. With a pregnant wife, no less.

Yeap, scenarios like that happen. Ghosting, breadcrumbing, and tuning are also some of the common things which you can’t avoid, so instead of being afraid that it’ll happen to you, be mentally prepared for these heartbreaks. Don’t take them seriously, but take it as a learning opportunity instead. If a guy or girl has been texting you for months without the initiative to meet up, then be ready to let that person go. Trust me, there’ll be another person waiting in the next swipe.

Tip 5: Tinder should not be a substitute for old-fashioned dating

Ah yes, ever heard the saying of putting all your eggs in one basket? This could be the case if you’re only relying on Tinder to get dates. Tinder should not a substitute for your dating life, but a COMPLEMENT. So while you’re using the app, do not slack on being social.

Say yes to that friend who’s been asking you to hang out with her group, enrol in hobby classes, and go out on ladies’ night with your colleagues. Who knows, you may find somebody outside of your mobile screen.

Tinder is a great way to meet people if you use it right. Though there is no sure-fire way to be successful in online dating, but with a good community of people sharing their experiences on Tinder, I believe that we can all learn from each other.

Do you have any tips on how to use Tinder? If so, comment in the description box below!

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