This article is about what happens when you mess with cats—and why their owners are not the people you want to cross.
“Felinetroverts” are the kind of people who love their cats more than they like most humans. Peaceful until provoked, they’ll defend their furry family like a parent defends their child. A few clueless neighbors and rowdy kids picked a fight with a cat, only to have the Felinetrovert finish the fight.
Here are the tales of cat owners crossed with time, tech skills, and zero patience for nonsense.
Neighbor Threatened a Programmer’s Cat. The Response Was High-Tech War.
My garden is fenced in and cat-proofed. But my neighbor has been throwing treats into my garden. I saw him do it. I don’t have video proof, but the treats are harmful because my cat is elderly and has kidney and liver issues.
I asked him to stop. He told me, “F**k you,” because he claimed he was just being nice. I explained that my cat has health problems, but he ignored me and went inside.
The next day, I found treats scattered on my grass again. My cat is now fully indoors. I can’t let him outside anymore because it’s not safe. I don’t even know what kind of treats these are. They could kill my cat.
Then I discovered he had open Wi-Fi—no password?! I logged in and changed the network name to I_CAT_KILLER, and every few weeks I change it to a new variation. Now the neighbors have started asking weird questions.
Since I have access to his internet, I use it to watch Netflix, stream, and download movies.
It was also easy to discover his email address. So I signed him up for all kinds of things—from adult entertainment newsletters to volunteer mailing lists and donation call sheets.
I’ve ordered a Raspberry Pi. I’m going to program it to access his Wi-Fi and run 20–30 YouTube and Twitch livestreams at 4K resolution, just to jam up his bandwidth and murder his internet speed.
I’ve also discovered they have Bluetooth speakers. The next step? Blasting a massive cat screech at full volume at 3 a.m.
Messing with a Graphic Designer’s Cat, get your face on a Poster
A cat owner managed to capture a couple of kids throwing rocks at his cats on his home surveillance system. His cats were in his garden, minding their own business. He retrieved the footage and was able to clearly identify the perpetrators: the neighborhood’s resident samseng children.
He created flyers with their faces blurred—just enough to maintain deniability—and titled them:
“Have You Seen These Animal Abusers? Last spotted near Jalan SSXX/1XF. Be careful. Do not approach. Dangerous!”
He included a link to Malaysian animal cruelty laws via QR code, and a second QR code to file a non-emergency police report.
He printed about 100 of these in color and posted one in every mailbox within a five-block radius. Then he put them up at the local school, on lamp posts, trees, telephone poles—you name it.
The parents came over to complain, dragging their two rotten crotchgoblins along. The dude just stood there and shrugged:
“Blurry photo is best I got. You think it’s your children ke? If not your budak, kenapa kacau me?”
Oops… #iftheshoefits #laceitup #wearit
Six months later, he still has a number of leftover posters. He keeps a stack in his car. And when he gets a little bored, he’ll stick one up on a building notice board, lamp post, or somewhere else.
The local samsengs? Not so samseng anymore.
Spray My Cat with a Hose? Meet the Feline Army.
Vixen is an elderly 14-year-old (in human years) who was rescued from a hoarder. High-strung and skittish, she was probably abused—it took her rescuer-turned-owner three years of healing and nurturing before Vixen would allow anyone to touch, pet, or stroke her.
One day, Vixen was sitting on the front porch of her home, minding her own business, when the neighbor sprayed her with the garden hose. Why? Because they thought it would be funny. Vixen didn’t step outside for a month, and the owner reacted.
They began leaving cat food at distant corners of the neighbor’s fence line every 2–3 days—wet food and dry food. In the Malaysian heat, the wet food began to rot and quickly became a stench. They followed up with tuna oil–soaked cotton balls, thrown into the garden, on the rooftop, and even into the longkang outside the house.
The smell of food made stray cats associate those scents with the neighbor’s house as a good place to find food. Strays started hanging around, doing the usual stray cat things: Subuh-time caterwauling, claw marks on patio furniture, and of course, the stench of cat poop in the flower beds.
Then mating season started. It was like they were running a feline brothel in the front garden—catnip powder thrown over the fence may or may not have contributed to the problem. MPSJ were called, and they kena saman like you wouldn’t believe.
It took three visits, another saman, RSPCA, and a few “good Samaritans” to help Trap, Neuter, and Release (TNR) the strays—and to foster and rehome some of the more sociable felines into forever homes.
Mess with a cat, summon the storm.
These aren’t just stories of petty revenge—they’re warnings.
Cat owners are generally quiet, but they remember. They never forgive. And they hit back creatively, legally, and persistently—in a storm that can last months, if not years.
Because cat owners draw inspiration from the Oyen of Chaos.
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