This is a story of a man who was tricked into a fake relationship and ended up being scammed out of thousands of ringgit.
10 years ago, I was a naive 32 year old, desperate for a woman’s love, and in the process fell for a scam that made me learn the hard way. I lost more than RM20,000 in the process on top of the biggest heartbreak of my life.
The story started in 2010, I was a few years into my job after university at 27. I was adapting to life in KL after spending my whole life in a small town on the East Coast.
I was working in the IT industry, and making more money than I had ever seen.
Being an awkward nerd, I felt out of place at most times, especially around girls. Blame that on my conservative upbringing and boy’s school most of my life. The few times when I found a girl attractive and tried to approach them, they would brush me off or giggle with their girlfriends.
I spent a lot of my time online, on chat rooms and forums, talking with people from around the world. That’s when I met Alice, on a Facebook groupchat. She told me she was Australian, and when I saw the picture that she sent me, I was blown away by her beauty. Blond hair, blue eyes.
At first we simply chatted once or twice a week, but soon it would be almost everyday. I would spend a lot of time at night just talking on the phone with her. We shared problems, struggles and were there for each other during rough times.
The first time I sent her money was about a month after starting to talk to her.
She had been telling me about her mother’s illness and gradually it got to a point she said she needed to desperately find a way to pay her mother’s medical bills. It was AUD 200.
I offered to help her. It was something that I just wanted to do for her, based on how close we were. When I asked for her details to transfer the money via Western Union, she gave me another name.
She said she had lost her ID and was not able to collect the money without it, so a friend was going to help.
It was a Vietnamese name, but I paid it no mind.
I know now that this should have been a big red flag. At that point of time, it never occurred to me that it was anything fishy as I was eager to be able to help a friend out.
Later, when I sent her more money during the course I knew her, she always said that it’s just easier for the same friend to pick up the money as she lived near the pickup point.
Shortly after I helped her mom with the medical bills, we started a long distance relationship. We would voice call everyday, sending pictures of what we were doing throughout the day.
Sometimes I would get a selfie or face pictures when I told her I miss her and just needed to see her. Video calling was not something we did.
While I would have wanted to see her face on call, the truth was I was self-conscious of the way I look.
I knew that she was way beyond my league and I was afraid if we got on a video call, she would see how I actually looked.
In the 5 years I was with her, I had sent her up to RM20,000. Sometimes she would ask, and other times I sent it to her as a “treat” for birthdays, accomplishments and some milestones she achieved at her job.
It finally came crashing down
In 2015, I had saved up enough money and in the height of my love for Alice, I bought a flight ticket to Adelaide. I wanted to finally meet her in person after almost 5 years of talking online.
It was a spur of the moment decision after receiving a bonus from work, and feeling on top of the world, I decided to use this money to go on a trip.
I excitedly messaged her that my flight tickets had been bought, and that I will be finally seeing her face to face in a month’s time.
She didn’t reply for 3 days. I was worried and kept messaging her.
On the third day, I received a long message from her. She said that she’s sorry but she was not the person I thought she was. She said she genuinely loved me, and was apologizing to have pretended to be someone else.
She also said that she didn’t intend to use me for my money but times were tough and I was always there to help.
Before I could respond, she blocked me on Facebook and deleted her account. Facebook Messenger was the only way we contacted each other and I never had another point of contact.
Truth be told, I was never mad at her.
I assumed she was using a fake picture and that’s why she decided to delete the account. The money was always given genuinely, and I never felt forced. It always brought me joy to be able to help her.
Growing up in a low income family, I understood how hard it was to survive without financial help.
If only she knew that my love for her went beyond the way she looked and beyond the money.
Until today, I have never found anyone that understood me the way she did. I wish I could tell her that. Jane, wherever you are, I hope you’re well. I miss you, I still love you.
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