Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
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I guess you could say that I am a successful executive who, at the age of 30, was already earning a 5-figure income.
I always used to think that women wanted and were impressed by materialistic things, and I actually strove to find one whom I could impress – and provide for, as well.
However, in my dating life, I was barely getting traction. I know that I don’t look like a handsome, fair-skinned actor or a masculine guy, but I have a very awe-inspiring CV and money, so where were the girls at?
And I thought to myself, “Okay, there are these really beautiful women with men who won’t exactly break beauty records, so how are they getting these girls? Because I want to be like that too!”
And that’s when my best friend told me about looking for a sugar baby.
I’d heard the terms “sugar babies” and “sugar daddies” before but had never given them a try.
I’m definitely not a millionaire sugar daddy, but one thing I’ve learned from all of my previous relationships is that women do want financial stability and security.
But it DOES NOT mean that you:
- Must get them Mercedes Benzes
- RM800,000 apartment unit overlooking KLCC
- Gifting of Louis Vuitton and Hermes bags every single month
- Fine dining for foods that you can’t even pronounce properly
It’s just a fact of life. You need to be someone who is financially okay — who has a job, some savings, and is not a bum.
She wants to know that you can provide for her if anything happens, such as when she’s giving birth and carrying your child, or that you’re serious about settling down and buying a house one day. It’s not about being a gold digger, it’s just a fact of life.
And when I heard about another friend who had married her Sugar Daddy, I decided to give sugar dating a shot and hopefully find someone with whom I could settle down.
Time To Be A Sugar Daddy
So I headed over to Sugarbook. I spent 30 minutes filling out my profile and began contacting sugar babies.
As we needed to pay for a subscription to be able to see our messages, I signed up for the 3-month package. Pricey? Yes, but I thought, let’s just give it a try.
I previously paid for Bumble and Tinder higher-tier accounts, and as I have given up on those platforms, that freed my cash to try out Sugarbook.
I downloaded the Sugarbook app for my phone and discovered a mysterious-looking profile.
Her face could not be seen, but I could tell she was elegant. She had long legs, her hair was tied in a bun, she was dressed in a Chinese cheongsam, and she had very fair skin. We spoke, and I told her this was my first time using the Sugarbook.
I proposed that we meet up and get to know each other first. She agreed.
On The Date Itself, I Was A Nervous Wreck!
The time was 5 pm, signaling the end of my work.
She told me to pick her up at 6.30 pm in the city center.
I arrived promptly on time in my modified Proton Iriz.
I was speaking very quickly and was sweating. I was laughing nervously and wondering if she was judging me for being so poor.
I explained that I had 2 cars but had to sell off the other one recently and started rolling out my entire CV to ‘impress her’.
I then confessed to her:
“You know, I watched this documentary where this sugar baby was making USD$4,000 a month as a sugar baby from her sugar daddy. I have to be upfront with you and let you know that I definitely am not able to afford that yet!”
Thankfully, she was all grace. She took it with a laugh, and she was very refined, prim, and proper.
She held herself high, and you could tell that she was a mature woman, despite her being around my age.
I asked her about her life, what she does, and where she worked before this:
“I’m currently working as an assistant to a makeup artist. I used to work on a cruise ship for 6 years and have travelled around the world. I eventually left due to personal reasons and have been here ever since.”
That explains why she’s so courteous and graceful, as someone from the hospitality line normally is.
She shared her past sugaring experiences with me
“Can you tell me about your sugar baby experience thus far?” I asked.
“I was in a long-term sugaring arrangement with an American expat for a year, who himself was a trust fund baby. His parents own a trust fund or investment company, and he was working here in Malaysia.”
Their agreement, as she explains, was that she must be loyal to him and that she could not see any other guys. They would be, by the usual definition, boyfriend, and girlfriend.
“In return, he gave me expensive gifts and a generous allowance of RM9,000 a month for me to live on.”
“He was 5 years older than me. I had great times with him. He was a caring sugar boyfriend. He had this super fancy apartment unit in the middle of KL, with a breathtaking view of the Petronas Twin Towers.”
“I lived-in with him and quit my job. If I needed anything extra, he would pay for me as well. He doesn’t get me luxury gifts as much, as I’m not that type of person, but I was happy as a faithful and devoted sugar girlfriend.”
“And obviously, we’ve role-played in bed with me as a flight stewardess. Most days, I would take care of myself and do my beauty routines. Eventually, he would also ask me for help in assisting with his business matters. It wasn’t anything too hard, but I helped him as an admin and secretary, if you could call it that.”
Amazed, I asked her, “Why did the sugar relationship end?”
“We didn’t really break up, but he had to move to California, so that’s how things ended.”
Read: I Am The Sugar Baby To Datin For 6 Years
“It took me a while to get used to working again, but I love it—I love and want to work in an office, surrounded by colleagues, wearing work clothes, and having a structured time and schedule for my day.”
But while she’s back to a normal corporate career, she is still sugaring, and it turns out that before her year-long arrangement with the American sugar daddy, she was a sugar baby live streamer and “BDSM queen”.
Earning RM15,000 From Livestreaming and Being Crowned A “BDSM Queen”
She explained her BDSM experience. Apparently, she is known as the BDSM Queen. Imagine my shock when she mentioned this—I was in no way interested in or willing to be a part of it!
This would also explain why, in her bio, she wrote, “Choker, handcuffs, and definitely a whip”.
“How did you get into BDSM, by the way?” You’re the most feminine, soft, unassuming, and submissive person ever!” I told her.
She said: “When I first started with Sugarbook, I did live streaming on the platform for the sugar daddies. Live streams were a place for us to create some content or showcase our talent, as well as a place for expressing ourselves, making new friends, or even building a following.”
“One day, I decided to try out the live stream with a BDSM suit — I wasn’t even into it or had done it myself; I just thought it looked sexy. Then one by one, my sugar daddies would message me if I provided BDSM services. I explained that I didn’t, and it was just a costume.
“But they were super keen on it and were offering me RM1,000 to RM3,000 per session — and that they would guide and teach me how to do it. It didn’t even involve any ‘intimacy’.”
“So I Googled up BDSM and how to do it on men, and that’s how it started! I continued live streaming in my BDSM outfit, and people came to call me the BDSM queen. Most of my now hidden profile pictures on the platform were BDSM related.”
She also said that she had won several live-streaming competitions on Sugarbook, which are held on a regular basis, and that she had been the top streamer for a whole year, making RM15,000 at her peak.
“Why did you quit being a live streamer when you could be earning RM15,000 a month?” I asked in disbelief.
“I could continue doing it, but after doing it for a year, I was just tired of performing live every night, as I was also working my day job, and I wanted my rest, that’s all.”
I was wondering what the most expensive thing she bought for herself was during that time, to which she showed me a picture of a limited edition clear, ‘see-through’ Louis Vuitton handbag that cost more than RM20,000.
Why She Became A Sugar Baby
We bonded over DSLR/photography, anime, traveling, backpacking, and outdoor adventures. She’s also a foodie.
I showed her my Instagram profile and told her of my various globe-trotting adventures. She did the same. I told her of my previous relationships, and we both traded life stories.
And, towards the end of the date, she opened herself up and told me she was going to reveal a photo that she had never shown to any other sugar daddy.
My heart was beating fast. I thought she was going to show me a photo of her in a BDSM outfit or in a naked pose.
It turns out, it was an image of an extremely poor family in Sabah.
These were the type of images that you saw on National Geographic, of villagers with not much on them.
“This is my family. I just wanted you to know that despite all this glamour and money, this is where I came from, my background, and that I have never forgotten this.”
I could see that she was not a showy type of person and that she does not enjoy all those typical luxury items. She wishes to keep the money to fund her future entrepreneurial pursuits.
Read: I Saved RM48000 As An Online Sugar Baby To Pay For My Father’s Hospital Bills
We really connected emotionally, and the date flew by so fast. I picked her up at 6.30 p.m., and before we knew it, it was already 11 p.m.
For our 5-hour-long meet, I didn’t pay her anything (besides the expensive dinner); but I did give her a few hundred for her to do her manicures and pedicures since she loves doing that and needed to get a new manicure. She did not ask for it; I simply wanted to give her a small gift for her time with me.
She explained to me that, not to brag or boast, she was actually a high-end sugar baby and that I was lucky to have met her as some younger sugar babies might have been a lot more transactional over our meet-up.
On Our Third Date, I Took Her To The Joke Factory
She was exhausted by the evening, and as we said farewell, I promised to take her out on another date.
In the next few days, we kept in touch, and she was feeling unwell due to her period pain. I prepared a box of gifts that would cheer her up, along with a rose flower.
In that box, I stashed various chocolates, sweets, peanut butter jelly jam (an inside joke that we both shared), menstrual pads, and a printed sheet of paper with a QR code that leads to cute cat videos on Youtube.
She was absolutely swept away by it and truly appreciated the thoughtful gift!
Once she felt better, I followed it up with our third date, this time to a stand-up comedy club. We watched Mad Sabah, an up-and-coming stand-up comedian from the “poor” state of Sabah (as he described it).
This time, she was all dressed up in a stunning red dress.
We had dinner, and she had a blast laughing at all of the comedians.
I dropped her back home past midnight, and as I walked her to her door, she looked at me, pulled back her hair, and with a glint in her eye and a lick to her lips, she wished me good night.
She definitely knows how to make a man yearn for her.
And once I reached home, just before she went to bed, she texted me this:
“Thanks for the great night, Daddy.”
I wasn’t sure if I actually liked being called that, but after going out on 3 dates with a high-end sugar baby, I guess my mission was accomplished; I’m now a certified sugar daddy, haha.
And while I thought that all sugar babies, especially high-end ones, would want to have a monthly arrangement of RM9,000, they are after all human beings.
They are not what society might have stereotyped them as being. They are looking for relationships with whom they can also settle down. They have feelings, past experiences, life stories, and people whom they have to help financially support as well.
And I also realized that sugar babies definitely know best how to tease, treat, and carry themselves for you. They know how to present themselves as the ultimate companion, as long as you also treat her well.
And it’s safe to say that I’ve yet to meet a more posh date—someone who was graceful, dignified, and humble—and who also knows her way around a choker, handcuffs, and definitely a whip.
If you’ve got a personal experience, let us know at: hello@inreallife.my
For more stories like this, read: https://inreallife.my/i-spent-a-month-using-sugar-daddy-apps/
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