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I am Selvakumar Mariappan, a Senior Lecturer from USM who just had my convocation. I wanted to share my story about my dad, who has always been my pinnacle of motivation.
Well, this is my story.
Growing up in a B40 family in a drug-infested, gangster village was never an easy ride for me and my family. My father was an ex-convict and involved in gangsterism during his youth due to his life struggles, which pushed him into desperate states.
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Yet he never failed to provide a better life for his family, especially us, his children.
He Broke The Chain
He never let us go down the wrong path. He continuously provided us with all the necessities for our success. He left his dark life behind and went to work as a labourer and, in recent years, as a security guard.
During my primary education, he would beat the crap out of me and force me to study (I hated that multiplication table). I still remember the day he told me that he ended up like what he was because he didn’t have the chance to get a good education. He didn’t even pass the 3rd standard.
He also told me he is not rich and he doesn’t have any money to send us to get a good education as well. He told me that if I ever wanted to study beyond the stars, I would have to do it myself.
“Get excellent grades, get a scholarship and then study as much as you can.”
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That’s what I did exactly.
I had excellent straight A’s from primary school up to secondary. Still, the journey definitely is not as smooth as we all imagined it would be.
Furthering My Tertiary Education
I went to UNITEN to further my studies in Mechanical Engineering.
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Unfortunately, I had to quit once I found out there were no loans offered for foundation studies there (yea, young and dumb to conduct a background check at that time).
Then, I got an offer to pursue study at UTeM for a Diploma in Electrical Engineering and I wasn’t in any situation to be choosy.
I took the opportunity and was also able to obtain the JPA scholarship after submitting a few appeals (because my SPM was straight A’s and I don’t want to let it go wasted).
And life wasn’t easy, being far from home and being stupid was really tough. And due to some inability to adapt and some personal issues, I couldn’t study.
My grades were terrible and I only managed to obtain a CGPA (cumulative grade point average) of 2.83.
“Pity Your Father”
During my 1st diploma semester, I did really terrible in my Electric Circuit subject, where I obtained a D. And during the final paper for this subject, I couldn’t answer most of the questions and out of despair I raised my hands in the exam hall in 30 minutes then handed over the paper to my lecturer.
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He asked if I had finished it.
I said I didn’t and I couldn’t answer any questions.
He didn’t ask much about why I couldn’t but he straight away asked what my father does for a living.
I answered that he is a security guard.
He then took my papers and told “kesian bapa” (pity your father), and he walked away.
This restructured my whole purpose of being there in the first place.
Changing My Major In Degree
In my 1st semester during my diploma, my CGPA was just 2.3. Then, I managed to push myself despite all the troubles coming my way and ended with 2.84 which is not good at all.
I pursued my degree studies there and unfortunately, I didn’t manage to get into the same engineering faculty and I was transferred to the technology engineering faculty.
With some maturity and experience obtained during my diploma, I managed to take it as a challenge and I ended with a 3.91 final pointer for my degree.
Pursuing A PhD in USM
While searching for a job after graduating, I got an opportunity to pursue study for a PhD with a scholarship in USM.
I went for the interview and met a great master which changed my life upside down. I was selected for the project, however, it wasn’t an easy ride either.
I needed to attend a board interview to qualify for the position and I was denied for the fast-track program and was surprised to hear some of the comments.
Despite my 1st class CGPA, I was told that I was from “UTeM” and if I was from UM or USM I would have been considered. Also, I am from technology engineering which is far easier to score as compared to engineering and that is the reason I obtained 1st class CGPA.
And it can be reflected in my diploma CGPA where I failed to obtain a good CGPA.
The Struggle Was Real…
I was told that I can’t do a PhD research and was told to begin with Master’s research and then go for conversion. I did as they told me.
My application was delayed and I started to learn the new field of microelectronics (my bachelor’s was in Industrial Power) for 6 months without any pay. I knew it would be a good investment.
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I taught tuition and earned some pocket money to sustain my travelling and food. When the research started I managed to publish 3 papers in a year and convert my MSc to PhD after attending a mini-viva for conversion.
And those who said I can’t do it were witnessing what I did (I do my best in everything I do, it doesn’t matter if I am from engineering or technology. I would have done my best even if I was a lawyer or a doctor or whatever I am!).
Then, the PhD was a hell of a ride. So many obstacles came my way in the form of health complications, relationship issues and a lot more including the pandemic.
Despite all these (hundreds of emotional breakdowns), I managed to complete my PhD in 3 and a half years with 19 papers (12 as main author and 7 as co-author) and successfully pass my viva voce with minor corrections on the 14th of October 2021.
Currently, I am serving as a Senior Lecturer at USM and preparing to embrace new challenges.
Image provided by selvakumar mariapan.
I Did It & You Can Too
For those who are seeking to achieve greatness in their lives, never give up, as persistence and resilience will definitely bring you success. Embrace the journey as the experience is fully yours and yours only, doesn’t matter the timeline.
Never let people steal your dream and make you complacent. Never ask why you are doing it, instead ask yourself why not.
Why not see how far you can reach?
Why not see how much you can achieve?
Life is yours anyway, bring the best out of you.
Image provided by selvakumar mariapan.
I am grateful that I was introduced to a great supervisor, Dr Jagadheswaran who made me the person I am today. Thank you to everyone who has been with me throughout this wonderful journey. I sincerely appreciate everything.
And for my father, I’ve put your name on a PhD certification.
Do you know anyone with an interesting story to share? Drop us an email at hello@inreallife.my and we may feature the story.
For more stories like this, read:
https://inreallife.my/part-and-parcel-of-life-how-malaysias-university-admissions-system-broke-me/
https://inreallife.my/learning-experiences-of-private-university-versus-a-public-university/
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