This is the story about how this man thought he was interviewing for a writing job — but it turned out to be a soft launch for what he described as “a cult”.
I’m Malaysian, but I spent the last decade overseas — where job interviews involved portfolios, not planetary alignments. Back home now, I’ve been applying for creative roles, trying to stay open-minded.
I thought coming home meant finding a more grounded, professional scene. You know — KPIs, brainstorming sessions, normal HR questions. Instead, I somehow walked straight into a metaphysical fever mix of Supernatural, Scooby Doo and the Ghost Busters. This image sums it up rather well:
Image / Reddit
One posting caught my eye: Creative Content Writer at a Feng Shui and Bazi consultancy. Cultural? Sure. Slightly woo-woo? Maybe. But hey, writing is writing. How weird could it get?
Spoiler: very.
First Red Flag: The Aura Comment
The guy looks me up and down and says, “Your photo does not match your aura.” I freeze. My application didn’t even include a photo. Turns out he pulled it from my LinkedIn. Okay. Technically public. Still creepy.
Welcome home, where HR also doubles as your personal shaman.
Second Red Flag: The Palm Reading
I put my hand out for a handshake. He grabs my palm instead. “Your life line fragments greatly,” he says, dead serious.”Have you experienced much trauma in your life?”
Sir, this is a job interview, not pasar malam fortune telling. A part of me wonders if he would have done this exact same thing to a woman.
At this point, I’m not sure whether to laugh, file a report, or cleanse my hand with the Dettol wipes in my pocket – a holdover from the Pandemic.
Third Red Flag: The Birth Chart Assessment
He tells me 60% of their hiring decisions are based on a Feng Shui personality assessment.
Before I can even respond, he pulls out a printed chart — already filled in with my name, birth date, and birth time. I stare at it and say, “You didn’t have permission to do this.”
He just smiles. “Your birth chart is your true CV.” Right. Forget writing samples. Cosmic surveillance confirms my work ethic and skills. It’s all about the culture fit now.
Fourth Red Flag: Belief vs Knowledge
The interviewer insists that good creative work requires “faith” in their metaphysical principles to produce “pure” creative works. I asked “Isn’t there a difference between understanding and believing?”
Answer: “There is no distinction. One cannot exist without the other.” My first thought was that logic has officially left the building. Barely fifteen minutes in and my frustration started to grow: I came for a writing job; I’m now trapped in a philosophy seminar run by a crystal shop.
Fifth Red Flag: Of Tech and Energy
Interviewer points at narrator’s iPhone: “This metal and plastic clashes with your water element. It will block your career progress.”
The entire segway had no bearing on anything. I sat and waited for him to make a point or go somewhere with it. He didn’t.
I was confused: My iPhone that’s at fault and not the economy, or Trump’s Tariffs, or one of the many ongoing conflicts?
So… the path to creative success is to ditch technology and… align my aura? He was using pseudo-traditional logic to justify a moral or professional judgment — turning unscientific superstition into a code of right and wrong in everyday life, disguised as “respecting tradition.”
Sixth Red Flag: The Disciples of The Master
During the chat, he kept calling employees “disciples”, clients are “students”, and the CEO is “The Master” — capital M, like some divine entity running a cult instead of a company. Every sentence was about loyalty, faith, and duty to The Master.
At some point, my brain just tuned out and went straight to pop culture survival mode: Buffy kicking down the door, the Winchester flanking with salt shotguns, and Constantine bringing up the rear muttering, “Not this nonsense again.”
I came in thinking this was a writing job, not an initiation into an MLM for lost souls. But that’s the thing about some modern workplaces — they package devotion as company culture, slap mysticism on management, and expect you to call it vision.
Seventh Red Flag: Creativity versus Purity
Trying to salvage the conversation, I asked about content strategy – tone, SEO, target audience, workflow, anything remotely practical. Every question got some variation of: “Creativity without faith creates disharmony. All work must be checked for spiritual purity before publishing.”
That’s when it hit me — this wasn’t about content or communication anymore. It was about belief as control. When “faith” becomes editorial policy, logic doesn’t stand a chance.
There’s no metrics, no analytics, no room for revision, just vibes and hierarchy dressed up as divine guidance.
In that kind of system, you don’t improve through critique or collaboration; you just try to guess what will please The Master. The line between creativity and worship gets blurred until you forget which one you were hired for.
I’m just imagining Grammarly flagging my work for “impure intent.”
Eighth Red Flag: KPI, KRA and Salary
I asked a practical question about how success is measured. How long is probation? 3 months? 6 months? Response: “Numbers don’t measure growth. It depends on how well I think you are doing.”
“Cool. My career now runs on vibes and divine approval.”
When asked about salary for the position: “Money is illusory. Rewards will come when your chart shows readiness.” Love that for me. Too bad my landlord doesn’t accept good energy and positive cosmic vibes in place of cash.
Ninth Red Flag: The Universe Will Tell You
Asked about next steps, the interviewer says, “The universe will tell you in two weeks,” smiling cryptically.
My partially checked out mind has images of a Hogwarts Owl swooping in with parchment on its ankle.
I gave up at that point, didn’t shake his hand just in case he made another unwanted attempt at palmistry.
Corporate Versus Cult
Outside the office, I was feeling equal parts shaken and entertained. I was half expecting to be asked for a strand of hair and a blood oath.
I came home thinking Malaysia had moved forward with modern offices, clear roles, and HR policies. Instead, I found a cosmic HR department not concerned with corporate culture, but something else.
Don’t get me wrong, I respect Feng Shui and Bazi as cultural traditions. They have their place. Just not as a hiring policy.
Sometimes, “corporate culture” isn’t about teamwork or synergy. It’s about the cult culture vibe check, which I thankfully failed.
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