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Why is it that grown-ups, having been children before, sometimes have difficulty understanding the behaviour of a child?
Don’t they remember what it was like to be a child? Instead, they expect the child to understand them, and think and behave like adults, forgetting that the child has never been an adult before.
Source: Duy Dinh on Pexels.com
Have they forgotten the curiosity of a child, and how that can be a major distraction at times?
Why do they ask questions of children that they simply cannot answer?
I remember when I was about 10 years old, I was caught by my elder sister (she must have been about 17) with my hand in the fish tank. I had gone to look at the fish in the tank, and a fish swam up to the surface so I put my hand in the water and sort of cupped the fish in my palm.
I got hauled up and made to stand in front of her while she sat on the couch.
“Why did you play with the fish?” she asked.
I looked down, shifting my weight from one foot to the other, trying to put on my saddest “puppy dog eyes” look.
“Answer me!” she shot at me.
And there I was thinking “What should I say? Oh my God, what punishment am I going to get?”
“Well?” she asked. “Why did you play with the fish?”
Today I look back, and I ask myself “Exactly what answer did she want? How could I explain that the fish tank was there, the fish were in it, and I stuck my hand in the tank? I have no idea why – I just did it. It seemed like the fun thing to do at that time. But how was I supposed to answer that? Whatever I answered I was going to get punished anyway.”
So I lied.
“No I didn’t.” I said.
“No, I saw you !!”, she said
“No, I didn’t do it.”, I said hoping to escape with a “your-word-against-mine” tactic.
“Don’t lie to me, I saw you put your hand in the tank.”, she said, her voice getting angrier.
Okay, maybe if I tried a different angle “No, I only touched the top of the water, I didn’t put my hand in. Reeeeaaally.”, I said, with tears welling up in my eyes.
“You’re not moving from there until you tell me the truth.”, she snapped, her face twisting menacingly.
Visual representation of the argument [source: Giphy.com]
You know what? I just cleaned my fish tank last night. And guess what? I played with the fish. Hehehe.
Adults, Remember That You Were A Child Once Too!
Adults! You’ve been there. You’ve been a child before. You need to remember what it was like to be a child. Try to remember what you thought of when you were a child. Your wants. Your needs. Your fears. Your worries. What made you feel happy. What made you nervous and afraid.
All a child really wants is to have fun and feel good . . . and to eat food (yes, especially the desserts and chocolates). A child’s greatest worry is probably not being able to find his favourite toy. Or missing Mummy and Daddy.
Try remembering all that. And when you do, you will now have a better understanding of your child’s behaviour, and how to handle him.
Source: Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com
“If a child can’t learn the way you teach, maybe you should teach the way he learns.”
For more stories like this, read:
Part and Parcel of Life – How Malaysia’s University Admissions System Broke Me
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