This is a story of a man who lost his job 2 months ago but has not told his wife about it. He is trying to fix the situation in hopes that she will never find out the truth, as he is afraid it will change her perspective of him.
I am a 34-year-old man, born in KL and living here. I married my wife four years ago, and we have been having troubles in our marriage for the past two years. A lot of the problems surround the fact that I’m not able to provide lavishly for her. I am a practical person and prioritize savings over travel, investments over luxury handbags, and stability over spontaneous adventure.
I love my wife dearly, and I wish to provide a life of comfort for her. However, two months ago, I lost my job due to retrenchment, and I have yet to tell my wife. I know she will worry and get anxious, as I am the sole provider of our household. Luckily, at this moment we don’t have kids, so it’s just the two of us.
We live a moderate lifestyle, the biggest expense being our car. We are currently living with my parents as we’ve been saving up to buy a house. We contribute to the bills at home, but with one other sibling and my parents splitting the costs, it’s manageable.
Living a Lie
When I lost my job, it was a shock to my system. I had no idea what to do, and it blindsided me, as I had foreseen myself working at this company for many years to come. When I came home that evening, I had no clue how to break the news to my wife, especially since she was sharing with me some properties she thought would be a good place for our first home. I didn’t know how to tell her that this dream would have to be put on hold.
The next day, I woke up when my alarm rang and had showered when I realized I was unemployed. My wife was still asleep. I decided to just get dressed and leave the house to figure things out. I ended up at a café, where I sat and thought about my next move. I didn’t get much done that day, and when I came home, I was still not ready to tell my wife because she was excitedly sharing some good news from her family. Day by day, it seemed like there was always a reason not to tell her.
After about a week of sitting at cafés, I realized I needed to find another option where I wouldn’t be spending RM30–RM50 a day. I started to frequent the local libraries in KL, where I would spend the whole day writing CVs and résumés, applying to any and all jobs I could find. I managed to get a few interviews, but they didn’t pan out. I’m still in the midst of applying for jobs.
It’s now been two months, and it’s harder than ever to tell her the truth because it’s been so long. Luckily, I do have a decent savings pool that I started to buy a house, but over the past two months I’ve been using it to cover my costs. My wife has a job and her salary covers her expenses. I’m also afraid to tell her the truth because the savings I’ve used these past couple of months were meant for both of us.
Currently, my plan is to get a new job, earn a couple of months’ salary, and put back the money I took out of the savings. I planned to slowly transition into telling her the truth, saying that I was offered a better job by a headhunter and would start soon. I already have the plans all set out; I just need to secure a new job to make it happen.
I know it’s wrong to lie to my wife, but I feel so ashamed that I can’t bear to tell the truth. I just hope that if she ever finds out, she will know that I’m doing everything in my power to be a good provider for her and our future children.
Write in. Tell your story. Get paid.
Share your story on our Facebook page and you may become a contributor for In Real Life Malaysia.
More from Job Hunt
‘I spent RM100k on a Piloting License, Only to End up Unemployed,’ Shares 33 YO M’sian Father of 3
This is a story of a man who dreamt of becoming a pilot his whole life, and did whatever he …
3 Red Flags to Look For When Applying For A Job in M’sia
This story is about how red flags in a job listing can hint at a toxic work environment in Malaysia—if …
