Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
“How does it feel to date someone older?”
These are the questions I always receive from my friends, colleagues, and even my family.
I met him when I was 24; he will be 32 in a few months.
We went for our first meetup together; he came and picked me up from my office, and we greeted each other with a “hi.”
The first meetup was awesome; nice dinner and an environment where we were comfortable sharing our thoughts on people, life, and even relationships.
We ended our first date with my favourite bubble tea.
Right after the first meeting, we started to text each other every day, followed by more meetups.
It’s funny that we have nothing in common, but our chemistry made me feel comfortable sharing and discussing everything with him.
Everything went well, and he confessed to me on Valentine’s Day by surprising me with a bouquet of flowers and notes.
Should I accept him?
This is the first thing I thought about after reading his note.
After a while, I received a text from him asking if I had received the flower and what my response was.
It took me a few hours to reply to him, and my reply was, “Can we meet and talk about it tonight?”
We met that night, and he was upset, probably thinking I would reject him.
We remained silent in the car, and after half an hour, he asked about my concern.
After a few meetings and conversations, he appears to be too good to be true.
“How could someone like him fall for me, who is ‘young, dumb, and broke’?”
So I told him about my concerns. He was upset initially, but he told me he could wait for me until I was ready to commit.
This touched my heart; who knows, right – perhaps this old man just wanted to have fun and f*** around with a young girl, but he showed me how sincere he was with his actions instead of just words.
Most importantly, even though I never accepted him that night, he still makes an effort to be with me even today.
He is not a sweet talker, but he always shows me how much he loves and cares about me with his actions.
One thing I love about my boyfriend is that he always wants me to speak.
He always wants me to speak out about what’s on my mind, my feelings, and what I want.
So my concern at that time was that we had a 7-year gap, which greatly troubled me.
I have never dated someone older than me, so I don’t know what people around me would think and say about this relationship.
These were some of the thoughts running through my mind:
- Will my parent accept it? (FYI, he’s only 6 years younger than my uncle)
- Will his parent think that I’m too young? (By that time, I was a postgraduate student, and my thought was, well, the parent felt that I was here to cheat him of his money)
- Do we look like sugar babies and sugar daddies when we walk together?
- How do I handle someone older? (Fact: I actually Googled this a lot, even up to today, so that I can learn how ‘old men’ thinks and behaves)
- What other people will comment about my relationship with him
“We have been dating for more than a year, and I can safely say that age doesn’t matter.”
I sometimes even forget that we have a 7-year age gap between us.
But my message to you, reader, is that communication is the key. Don’t be afraid to express what you feel and want.
Do you know anyone with an interesting story to share? Drop us an email at hello@inreallife.my and we may feature the story.
For more stories like this, read:
“Modern Dating For Millenials/Gen-Z’s Are Nothing Like In The Movies”
https://inreallife.my/dating-a-french-girl-as-a-malay-guy-2/
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