This is a story of a man who spent his savings on a lavish wedding for his bride, only to be left at the altar the day before the wedding.
I’ve always been the guy that plans his future. I know what I’ve wanted since I was fairly young and when I wanted it. I knew how to achieve my goals and worked hard at every step.
Once I graduated from medical school and finished my housemanship, I did my compulsory service in a government hospital in Sarawak for 2 years. Then I did my service as a Medical Officer. I had planned to get married before starting my specialization.
I met Aliya* (name changed) in high school. We both went to a boarding school near Seremban, where we started out as friends, and eventually started dating after we graduated from high school.
She’s been with me through many ups and downs in life, and we both enjoyed each other’s company. She was a scholarship student at the high school, while my parents paid for my education at the international boarding school. The differences in our background never really was a problem.
The Wedding Plans
I proposed to Aliya when I got back from Sarawak. The long distance was tough, but sticking it out together proved that it was worth the fight. The proposal was grand, at a luxury resort on a private island off Mersing.
It was at the beach, with a violinist and fresh flowers and a photographer. I wanted to give her the best. She was blown away by it all and happily said yes.
We decided to get married once I finished my service as a Medical Officer. We had plenty of time to plan the wedding. My parents had saved up enough to throw me a luxurious wedding as their only son.
Her parents were not as wealthy as mine. Aliya was the main provider for her family, and while she was doing well in her career as a consultant, it was just enough to provide a comfortable living for her family and herself.
My parents had already told us about the fund, which was around RM100k. They had been saving this aside for my wedding since I was young and were happy to be able to help us kick off our new life.
We planned a luxurious destination wedding in Sabah, where Aliya is from. We booked the Shangri-La hotel’s beachside wedding for 200 pax.
I was not much of a party planner, and left most of the wedding planning to her. She booked the band, the photobooth, the doorgifts and everything else that a wedding usually has. My job was pretty much to show up.
I never knew how she truly felt
Looking back, I feel like she was a master of hiding her feelings. Whatever reservations she had, she never told me about it. Sometimes I feel like I was blindsided.
The few times we fought, she would tell me she wanted me to spend more time with her or be more present and I felt like I did.
I really tried hard when I was not working or spending time with family, to prioritize her. I would shower her with gifts when I could and take her for trips when I could get time off.
The night before the wedding, I received a letter from her. She had gotten one of the hotel staff to deliver it to me. The letter said that she could not go through the wedding as her heart was not in it.
Even though her head said it was the right decision, she needed to follow her heart as marriage is a matter of the heart. She said she hasn’t been happy for a while and she’s been trying to make it work for a long time, but nothing has changed.
I went to her room to talk to her, but her bridesmaid said she had already left. Her parents also didn’t know anything about it and was equally as shocked as me.
The worst part of the whole ordeal was not only not understanding why it happened, but having to tell family and friends.
Most of the guests had already arrived and were staying the night. I tried calling her but she didn’t pick up. I was so confused.
The next morning I woke up angry. Angry at her for deceiving me for years, angry at her for leaving me like this, for embarrassing me, angry I had to deal with all the guests and their questions. I’m still angry.
I couldn’t cancel anything as it was all mostly paid for and we had 200 guests there that most of them had flown in from KL.
I got my brother, who was also the emcee to go explain to the guests what had happened and asked them to enjoy the meal. I stayed alone in my room the whole time. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone.
The whole hotel was filled with my family and friends so I couldn’t even leave the room without bumping into anyone. Since I had already booked and paid for the honeymoon suite, I moved in there and spent the next 5 nights eating room service and binge watching TV. Soon, all the guests and my family left back to KL.
I felt broken and that I can never trust again
My parents were understanding towards me, and I could feel their pity. In fact, I could feel pity from everyone around me, and I slowly started to hate socializing with people.
Aliya had been in my life for 16 years, which was more than half my life. Everyone knew us together. I met up with her once since the wedding. She kept apologizing but could never give me concrete answers that I was looking for. She said I didn’t do anything wrong, and that she wanted a different life, having only realized how important it was right before the wedding.
Soon after, within 2-3 months, she had moved to another country. She took one of those working visas to New Zealand and I think she’s picking apples or something down there. I feel like I never knew her at all. She’s so different from the person I met all those years ago.
I’ve fully committed myself to my work and my studies, focusing fully on that. I don’t have much of a social life anymore. All my friends saw her leave me like that, and I felt too embarrassed to meet them again as they kept asking me if I was doing okay. Slowly, I stopped going out with them.
I haven’t dated anyone since then, I guess I’m still recovering. The first step is I need to learn how to trust again. My biggest fear is someone changing down the line and never knowing for certain of the future.
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