This story is about a Malaysian man who reconnected with his twin sister after 30 years.
Recently, I had an experience that felt surreal—I reconnected with my twin sister, someone I hadn’t seen or spoken to in almost 30 years. Most people can’t imagine the awkwardness of meeting their sibling as a stranger, but that’s exactly what happened to me.
You see, I didn’t grow up with my sister. We were separated when we were very young, and for years, I had little to no memory of her. Our parents divorced when I was only four years old, and two years later, my father passed away. After that, my mother remarried and took my sister with her, leaving me to stay with my father’s side of the family.
As I grew older, the story I was told was that my mother left me and never made any effort to reconnect. I believed that I didn’t need a mother like that, but deep down, I always wished I had known my sister better.
A Text That Changed Everything
It was a quiet evening in January when my phone buzzed with a Facebook Messenger notification. Half-asleep, I lazily clicked into the message. My vision was still blurry, but after a few seconds, I saw the profile picture clearly enough to recognize her—my long-lost sister.
She had sent me a message that read, “Hey, do you remember who I am?”
Without a second thought, I replied, “Sis?”
That simple exchange opened the door to a flood of emotions I hadn’t expected. We hadn’t spoken in nearly three decades, but it was as if the universe had decided it was time for us to reconnect.
Rekindling Our Relationship Over Text
After that initial message, we started texting each other every day. She told me she had been thinking about me and decided to reach out, and I was grateful she did. It felt strange at first—talking to someone I knew was my sister, but who I had no shared memories with.
We hadn’t grown up together, played together, or even gotten into trouble together like most siblings. It was as if we were strangers, trying to figure out how to connect. But through our conversations, I began to learn more about her life, and it became clear that our childhoods had been vastly different.
I went to an English-speaking school, while she attended a Chinese one. I grew up as an only child with a lot of academic pressure, while she had the responsibility of taking care of our stepbrothers. Yes, that’s right—I also learned I had stepbrothers!
Despite our different paths, we did share one thing in common: we were both troublemakers growing up. And in some ways, that gave us something to laugh about as we reconnected.
Meeting Face to Face
Image via clement (author)
After a few weeks of texting, we decided to meet in person for dinner. I was excited but also nervous. What do you say to someone who’s your sister but feels like a stranger? Do you hug them? Call them by name? What if it’s awkward?
She offered to pick me up at the train station. The first thing she said when I got in the car was, “Well, aren’t you lucky, having your sister pick you up.” We both laughed, and it eased the tension immediately.
As we sat down for dinner, I couldn’t help but notice how similar we were. We had nearly identical facial features, from our smiles to our laughter. We even had the same speaking habits. It was eerie how much we resembled each other, and anyone who saw us could have easily guessed we were twins.
Discovering Our Similarities
Despite our differences in upbringing, we shared some surprising commonalities. For one, we both hate brinjal—who knew? We also can’t stand being compared to others, and we have the same sarcastic sense of humor.
But there were differences, too. I’m more soft-spoken, while she’s loud and direct. I prefer to let things simmer, and she tackles them head-on. Our upbringings shaped who we are, but those small quirks reminded me that we shared a deep connection, even if it had been dormant for so long.
A Complicated Family History
During that dinner, I learned a lot about our family history—things I never knew or understood. We had completely different versions of why our parents separated, why my mother left, and why we lost contact.
I was always told that my mother had abandoned me, and that she never tried to reconnect. But my sister remembered things differently. She told me about visits I had no memory of and mentioned that my mom had tried to call me multiple times.
It left me wondering: had I been lied to all those years? Was I told the whole story, or only one side of it? I had grown up with a deep-seated resentment toward my mother, but now, I wasn’t sure if that resentment was justified.
What I Learned from Reconnecting with My Sister
Reconnecting with my sister has changed my perspective on family. Growing up, I was always the role model for my younger cousins, but having a sibling is a different experience altogether. I feel fortunate to have someone around my age to talk to, someone who shares my blood.
Through this process, I’ve learned that the past doesn’t always define the future. I spent years resenting my mother and feeling like I didn’t need her in my life. But now, I realize that holding onto those feelings only kept me from moving forward.
Letting Go of the Past
My focus now is on reconnecting with my mother and letting go of old grievances. The past generation’s feuds shouldn’t dictate my relationship with my family today. Life is too short for grudges.
I’m hopeful that reconnecting with my mom will bring a sense of closure and healing. Maybe, after all these years, I’ll finally get to experience what it’s like to have a mother nagging me, and to be part of a family I never knew I had.
As my sister said during one of our chats: “We may be perfect strangers with a sense of familiarity with each other. But I’m glad we didn’t have to wait until we’re both parents before reconnecting.”
Image via clement (author)
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Also read: I had A Miscarriage Quit My Job and Had Depression but My Sons Gave Me a Reason to Live
I Had a Miscarriage, Quit My Job and Had Depression, But My Sons Gave Me A Reason To Live
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