Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
It’s wedding season, and whether single or married, many Malaysians are being flooded with wedding invitations.
But wait – before you go, do you know exactly how much to give the newly wedded couple for their wedding angpau?
Giving the newlywed couple an angpau is to help them in starting a new life together. The angpau is often used to help defray the financial cost of the wedding lunch/dinner, or to put towards a home.
So how much do you put in the angpau? There isn’t a hard and fast rule, but many Malaysians calculate it by estimating the cost of the dinner, and then adding a little bit extra (depending on the state of their own finances).
Calculating it can be a source of anxiety and frustration, so here’s a guide to help you figure it out:
1. Where is the wedding reception held?
One of the biggest factors that will influence how much money you should put in that angpau is where the event will take place. Fancy hotel? Not so fancy hotel? A restaurant? Their home?
Obviously, the fancier the place, the more you should put in your angpau. Your calculations should look something like this:
- Fancy hotel – 5 star: around RM200/person but can be more depending on exactly how fancy the event is
- Hotel – 3 or 4 star: around RM150/person
- Hotel or restaurant: around RM100/person
- Home – kenduri style: RM50 – 75/person
2. How many people are you bringing?
You’ll notice that the estimates above are based on a single adult. If you’re going alone, that would be enough. But if you’re bringing a plus one, then the calculation should double accordingly.
If you’re bringing kids, it’s safe to estimate an additional RM20 – 75 per child, depending on the location.
3. How about your finances?
Well, what about how much money you actually have?
If you don’t earn very much and can’t spare the money, then it’s alright to give whatever amount you can. You don’t have to stress about not being able to afford the wedding angpau – the couple are probably aware of how much you do have, and invited you anyway.
But if you can spare the money, then consider adding a little bit more to your angpau. Every little helps!
4. Your relationship with the couple
Are you just an acquaintance, or a work colleague, or a distant relative? You can just give the bare minimum, and your well wishes.
But if you are very close, perhaps a good friend or a closely related relative, it might be polite to add just a little bit more to your angpau – not too much though, especially if you can’t afford it.
5. Are you helping out with the wedding?
You might have been asked to be a grooms person or a bridesmaid for the wedding – how does that affect the amount you put angpau? Well, this is a bit of a grey area to be honest.
Some think that if you’re helping out with the wedding (making sure things are okay behind the scenes, handling the in-laws, seating guests, etc.) then it’s okay to give less for your angpau. You’re already helping the couple, so there’s less of an expectation to contribute financially.
Others think that if you can, you should give them the full angpau amount anyway. Money is never an unwelcome gift.
So how do these guidelines work out in real life?
So let’s say you got invited to a wedding;
- The person getting married is a work colleague
- The wedding reception will be held at the Majestic KL
- You’ve heard that it’s definitely going to be a fairly fancy event
- You’re bringing along your wife and 2 kids
The calculation (sorry for the maths, but see, your maths teachers were right: you do need maths in your life) would go something like this:
- RM250 per adult
- RM75 per child
- 2(RM250) + 2(RM75) = RM650
In any case, just give the couple what you can afford to give – nobody should be upset for giving to the best of your ability, even if it’s not as much as they would expect.
How much would you put in your wedding angpau?
Share your thoughts in the comments!
For more stories like this, read: Are You A Malaysian Couple Thinking of Getting Married? Do These 10 Things First.
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