This is the story of a woman who discovered that her boyfriend of six months was already married with a child. She was blindsided—having already introduced him to her family and friends—never suspecting a thing. He had been so committed, even talking openly about marriage.
I met Adam (name changed) eight months ago on Bumble, an online dating app. He was a handsome Dutch man—well put together, charismatic, and confident. At the end of our first date, he told me he was dating with the intention of marrying. If I was only looking for fun, he said, I should find someone else.
At 30, I was smitten. Here was a man who knew what he wanted, wasn’t playing games, and seemed ready to commit. I fell for the act.
Over the next several months, we grew closer. We spent long days and nights together, sharing our hopes and fears, our dreams and worries. It felt like finding a gem in a haystack. Adam was emotionally available, always there whenever I needed him.
He told me he worked as an offshore engineering consultant, which meant disappearing for stretches of time while stationed at sea, examining underwater machinery. He explained upfront that he wouldn’t be contactable during those jobs but promised to always make it up to me when he returned. I believed him.
Whenever he vanished, I never chased him with calls or texts. I respected the demands of his work. When he came back, he would book an Airbnb for us to stay in. He claimed he lived out of a suitcase because of constant travel and didn’t see the point in renting an apartment. Hotels, he said, were his usual stopovers—but for me, he wanted something more comfortable. Again, I believed him.
No Red Flags, Only Green
Our relationship lasted more than six months. During that time, I even introduced him to my parents. I told them I had finally found someone I wanted to start a family with. They were overjoyed.
When Adam came to meet them, he charmed my elderly parents. He told them he intended to marry me once his work stabilized. He even asked my father for my hand in marriage—and my parents gave their blessing. We all believed him.
There were no warning signs. Adam was respectful, attentive, and generous with his time and affection. My friends liked him. He showed up with flowers, sometimes even jewelry. He seemed like every girl’s dream.
Caught Red-Handed
The truth surfaced by chance. A friend added me to a group chat for a bachelorette party. Scrolling through the other women’s profile pictures, I froze when I saw one: a woman named Hana (name changed) smiling beside a man who looked exactly like Adam.
Unsure how to proceed, I came up with a plan. I suggested we all exchange Instagram handles. When I followed Hana, my worst fear became reality.
Her feed was filled with photos of Adam. One post stopped me cold: “Happy Anniversary to my love, Adam.” My stomach dropped. And then came the final blow—just months earlier, Hana had given birth to their baby. The math was undeniable. When Adam and I first met, his wife had been pregnant. Their child, a beautiful mixed-race baby, was clearly his.
A rush of emotions consumed me: anger, humiliation, heartbreak. I never imagined I would become “the other woman.” Everything beautiful we had built together crumbled in an instant. How could I face my friends? How could I tell my family?
Choosing Silence for Peace of Mind
For days, I wrestled with what to do. Part of me wanted to expose him—call him out, tell his wife, ruin his carefully constructed double life. But another part of me knew that if I did, I would be dragged into the fallout too. People would talk about me as much as they talked about him. My parents would be devastated, and they didn’t know that Adam and I had been intimate.
In the end, I chose to let go. I sent him a single message: “I know. Never try to contact me.” Then I blocked him on WhatsApp, Telegram, and his phone number. He had no social media to erase.
I could have easily blown his life apart—but doing so would have forced me to relive the betrayal again and again. Instead, I confided in a few close friends, while telling others that we had broken up for mutual reasons. I skipped the bachelorette, offered an excuse, and muted Hana’s Instagram.
The experience was devastating. The walls of my heart have closed in, and even now, I feel nauseous at the thought of love. Betrayal of this scale is something I would not wish on my worst enemy.
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