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Healthy relationships work best when it isn’t going just one way. When speaking in terms of healthy relationships, one should always reciprocate.
If he is meant to be honest with you, make sure you are honest with him too.
It’s easy to just be with someone for the sake of being with someone, but come the weekend, other distractions creep up. Friends, colleagues and family can all potentially get in the way.
For this reason, to help you gauge if it is time to move on or if venturing forward together is worthwhile, here are four things to look out for when in need of spotting a healthy relationship:
1. Be with someone who is honest with you.
It’s been said before but I cannot stress this enough: Honesty is the most important quality in a shared and mutually beneficial relationship.
Without honesty, one may never assume the truth in the long run. Honesty is the cornerstone of any fruitful and mutually beneficial relationship.
So don’t be distant, and share your honesty and loyalty with him as well.
Honesty shouldn’t be a difficult trait to acquire, but it is! The only thing that causes cheating is a cheater, so steer clear of those as they should be easy to spot.
How do you spot a cheater? Figure out if they are lying.
Sussing out a lie should be easy. One lie on top of the other breeds suspicion and pretty soon, once confronted, the guilty party, eventually spills his or her guts.
Cheating may not be the number one factor here when measuring his honesty meter, but do take into consideration that sometimes circumstances are mitigating.
Learn to trust each other, and in time a healthy relationship should flourish from these very roots.
2. Be with someone who allows you to be yourself.
Let’s face it, we’re all a little rough around the edges, but it’s our quirks that shine through and through.
We all have our own unique qualities, things we keep safely locked up away from the world for fear of ridicule or scrutiny.
These quirks are natural and there is nothing wrong with having them, as long as you are not harming anyone else.
The big question is: Does he accept you for you?
Emotional intimacy is the answer here.
If you feel safe and secure expressing your innermost thoughts and secrets with your significant other, then he is a keeper.
He should also know intuitively that the things you don’t share with the world around you are meant to be closely guarded secrets — a vault of secrets, if you will. It’s between the two of you — and that’s final.
3. Make sure he is always there for you.
You know how we are so distracted these days? Well, being with someone who offers you their undivided attention can lead down some very healthy roads.
Don’t forget, “Do you!” Is the advice here.
While ambient lights from your phone can be flattering in the dim undercurrents of the moonlight shining through the window, a healthy relationship can be spotted when that special someone does not even notice the news feed on their phone anymore.
Now that is something! You’re suddenly more important than the world they surround themselves with.
So, be with someone who forgets that they even have a mobile on them when they are with you. You know what that really spells: “Attentiveness,” and that is what we are all looking for here.
4. Be with someone who puts you first.
Remember what I mentioned earlier about attentiveness?
Well, here it is again, come back full circle. With applications being on the forefront of things to do while not away from your mobile device, one can only imagine…
When on a dating app, we swipe left then swipe right only to find that each and every 300-word bio is as droll as our significant other’s.
It’s okay, wandering about greener pastures is normal, but if he is doing that maybe give it all a miss.
The point here, however, is that we are always looking for that special someone who will be our partner in life.
Okay here it is, that said… Crunch Time!
Of course, I was not just going to beguile you with all the fanciful things about being in a loving, caring relationship… How could I?
But do consider that you want the best teammate on this roller coaster ride you are about to embark on.
The big question is: Is he ready for the long haul?
Commitment is the big issue, and I am sure you have heard a lot about that by now.
It’s the number one matchmaker.
If one cannot assume that each other are going to be there during tough times, then your relationship may as well be relegated to the likes of a fair-weather friend, and that is no real relationship at all.
For more articles about relationships, read: My Boyfriend Is the Complete Opposite of Me. Here’s How We Make It Work. And Surviving Your First Fight: Tips For A Sustainable Relationship.