Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
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I haven’t had the best luck with dating these days so … all these annoying questions about my single life? I get them all the time. At first, it felt nice to know someone is concerned about my dating life.
After a while, it got on my nerves.
One time, I was having lunch with my friend and she asked…
1. Why are you still single?
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There are many reasons why someone is still single. For some of us, we’re busy building our careers and living our best life (kids-free!). For others, we might be recovering from a toxic relationship or dealing with self-love issues.
Everyone has their reasons and being single is never a bad thing. You might see us eating alone at a table for two or watching a movie by ourselves, but it doesn’t mean we’re missing out on life.
Everyone’s journey is different, whether we’re in a relationship or not. So be nice and try not to make it sound like being single is a huge problem.
2. Are you being picky?
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Aren’t we all? Everyone is attracted to different types of people. He or she may be the hottest person who walks into your life, but many factors come into play – compatibility, sexual chemistry and mutual attraction.
That’s not being picky – it’s called being wise in making a decision about someone.
3. Your standards are too high
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Imagine me as your best friend for a minute. Would you want me to date someone who lies and cheats? Someone who doesn’t introduce me to his mother or remembers my birthday? I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t.
Sadly, I dated that guy once because I lowered my standards for him. Since I didn’t want to lose him, I was afraid of setting high expectations. If he doesn’t remember my birthday, I’ll tell him it’s fine, but I was crying on the inside. If I catch him with another woman, I forgive and move on.
Now that he’s no longer part of my life, I’m much happier being single than being in an unfulfilling relationship.
Thanks to my past, I’ve moved on – with my standards raised high.
And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.
4. Have you tried dating apps?
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It’s pretty obvious. Every single person I know has tried dating apps at least once. The thing about dating apps is that it’s a great way to have fun with someone, not to find a special someone.
Then again, there are the exceptions that walk among us, like this woman who met her husband on Tinder.
Honestly, it’s tiring to answer this question. It’s like you’re saying we’re not trying hard enough and are giving up too easily. Between you and I, who are we kidding? It’s a dating app, and some things aren’t built for everyone.
5. I’ll matchmake you with someone
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Ah, the worst. Call me a pessimist, but matchmaking will not make a difference. Despite how long you’ve known someone, I never believed a family member or close friend can pull this off successfully.
You might think you know everything about us, but you don’t know the experiences that shape who we are today. Besides, we’re never our truest selves in front of people.
You might think I’m neat, but have you seen my messy bedroom? You might think I’m polite, but maybe I had to be because you’re my boss. You might think I’m an introvert but what if you just talk too much and never listen to what I have to say?
So that’s very kind of you, but I know someone who will do a greater job of finding someone for me.
Yup, that would be me.
While it’s hard to believe that people can be happy alone, being single is a real journey of self-discovery. I’m happier now than the years I spent being in unrewarding relationships.
Okay fine, lonely nights do happen but I suppose we can’t have it all. If you see a single friend out there, do them a favour and quit the annoying questions. Maybe the reason why they’re still single is that they’re all the company they need.
I mean, self-love is pretty amazing too.
For more articles on being single, read Why You Should Celebrate Being Single – Advice from Someone in a Relationship, and 3 Reasons Why You Should Absolutely Stay Single.
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