After a devastating break up with my ex of six years, I was heartbroken. I spent six years of my life with a man whom I thought would be my life partner.
It was months of feeling sorry for myself and questioning the many whys until a friend smacked me out of it and introduced Tinder to me.
Tinder is a matchmaking app where you swipe left or right to find your perfect match.
I was really skeptical about meeting someone through a matchmaking app.
“You got nothing to lose,” my friend said.
I stumbled across this profile, *Paul and he looked interesting. His profile description was plain and it has one simple quote from Louis L’Amour – “I am somebody. I am me. I like being me. And I need nobody to make me somebody.”
What caught my attention though was this one photo of him wearing a ski mask that has the word “EVIL” written on it. His quirky photo got me thinking that he must be a funny guy and yes, it turned out he is one.
I swiped right and immediately we matched.
It started off with texting on Tinder then to WeChat because I refused to give him my number. After weeks of texting, we finally decided to meet up for the first time. The first time meet up eventually became weekly meet ups. After weeks of hanging out, he asked me to accompany him to a trip which then led to the question, “Will you be my girlfriend?”
The rest is history.
Our friends are amazed and skeptical at the same time about us using Tinder to find love.
How did we turn it into a long-term relationship from Tinder?
1. Acceptance of each other’s flaws
We are both very different people and we have different personalities. I enjoy making my bed when I wake up and he has different opinion about that because he believes that messy people are more creative.
Sometimes, he will even take the effort to make the bed because he knew that I like a tidy and organized bed. Despite our differences, we both respect and accept each other’s flaws. After all, being yourself is the key to successful relationships.
2. Communication is important
Communication is one of the most important factors to make a relationship work. For both of us, we are open and honest about each other. It took some time to trust each other but time did the charm for us.
We took our time to learn about each other, to understand each other and yes, we established the grounds to share things to each other. He texts me every day over lunch to ask if I have had it. It might sound like a simple text to many, but sometimes, all it takes is just a text.
3. Follow your guts and your heart
Meeting strangers online can be dangerous. Sometimes, it takes a leap of faith. It is good to follow your guts and heart, but it is important to be cautious as well.
When we first met, it was in a café with lots of people as well. I will make sure my close friends are well informed of my whereabouts when I am out meeting people from Tinder. Even for our relationship, we have the same goal for our future and yes, we do follow our guts and hearts sometimes to make decisions for us.
4. Not succumbing to social norms about online dating
Our family and friends had their opinions about us meeting on Tinder especially when Tinder is well known for it being a hookup app. My family was afraid that he might be a scam and cheat me of my money.
His friends have uncertainty about us being together too because it seems a bit too farfetched to fall in love over a matchmaking app. It was hard to ignore at first with the many negative opinions we received from our family and friends. However, we decided to blissfully ignore them all.
It has been four years since we met. We both have gone through the many ups and downs to make this relationship work long term. We have bypassed the societal stereotype about online dating and succeeded! In fact, he proposed to me recently and we are getting married in December.
So, to all of you, don’t give up! You may find the one on Tinder yet!
*not his real name
For more articles on Dating & Relationships, read I’m a Guy on Tinder Looking for Hookups. Here’s 4 Ways to Avoid Me and What It’s like to Date a Workaholic.