Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
Chinese/ Asian households can relate…
I think many people that grew up in Malaysian Chinese households especially, can resonate with this; “Angmo and Chinese boyfriends can, others cannot”. At a young age, I was taught to discriminate or look down on other races other than mine and Caucasians. Ironically, I have been dating a Malay for two, close to three years.
Before you jump to conclusions, I want to make it clear that I am only listing facts and things that I personally have learnt. I am not playing the blame game where I point out who is wrong or right. I believe that stereotypes all came from a source of trauma or issue that has not been dealt with correctly. However, that is not an excuse to be racist.
People need to acknowledge the issue and try to improve themselves. Even though I grew up in a slightly racist family (they have been improving and trying to be less stereotypical and discriminatory), I have always challenged my thoughts and emotions when I find myself being racist. Yes, it still happens when I am dating someone of a different race.
Malaysia is a multiracial but also a very conservative country
Source: Vulcan Post
We lack conversations on relationships and the taboo topics around them such as sex education. In this piece, I would like to address the topic where other races feel it is more desirable to have a person of a different race as their partner.
From my circle of friends, it is common to hear that a Malay is praised if she or he got a Chinese partner. Whereas, for the Chinese, if they got a White person, they are pretty much gods.
This perspective is likely rooted back to the narrative of the “Fair-skinned people are very pretty and charming” while “Dark-skinned people are ugly”. I constantly hear people telling my mother that all her daughters are so pretty because we are very fair-skinned. Sometimes, they will go to the extent of comparing how fair we are.
It’s so ingrained in our minds that even recently, when I wore the same dress as this promoter girl, she immediately said: “Wow, you are so fair and I am so tan” in a tone where she feels she is less pretty.
Personally, I find dark-skinned people beautiful
Source: @helenmegam
I do not think that only fair-skinned races are very beautiful.
All races are very beautiful, depending on whether you want to see their beauty or not. I had thought before where I felt “Dark-skinned people are very beautiful, their skin looks like lush creamy dark chocolate. They look like the dark sky and their eyes shine like the bright moon.”
I never once felt they were ugly, I only find someone unattractive when they show me their true personality and how evil their hearts are. Only then, does the word ‘ugly’ come to mind.
Love and race have nothing to do with each other
Relationships are usually dependent on a few factors like communication, trust, care and effort, NOT race. The criteria of a relationship should never be whether or not your partner is fair-skinned enough for you, or anyone else. After all, love does come solely from the heart.
It warms me as a Malaysian to see a variety of Mixed raced couples living in our country. It really goes to show the openness of our collective mindset, as well as the growth of acceptance in our community.
Malaysia has come far from when mixed relationships and marriages were frowned upon
Inter-marriages have had a powerful impact on the ethnic fabric of Malaysian society, blurring the lines between race, religion, and culture, and birthing a whole new generation of Malaysians and global citizens who embody diversity, tolerance, open-mindedness, and awareness.
While the abovementioned scenarios may not apply to every interracial relationship out there (it’s not one-size-fits-all), it’s evident that, more so now than ever, Malaysians are willing and ready to embrace cultural diversity and racial harmony.
For more stories like this, read:
“My Parents Didn’t Even Know Who He Was!” – Malaysian Couple Eloped After Dating For 2 Months
You might also like
More from Real Relationships
“It’s Been 1500 Days Since My Husband Touched Me,” Shares M’sian Woman Trapped in a Loveless Marriage
This story is about a woman trapped in a loveless marriage with a husband who has not been intimate with …
“My Wife Told Me She Cheated On Me 15 Years Ago With Her Boss,” Shares Devastated Family Man
This story is about a husband whose wife’s unexpected confession of an affair from 15 years ago shattered his peace …
5 Stories of Pets Whose Spirits Stayed With Their Owners After They Had Passed Away
These personal stories are about the unusual, explanation-defying experiences of pet owners who lost their beloved pets, but somehow ‘felt’ …
