Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
This story is shared by Jenny, a Malaysian who began her remote working career to take care of her disabled father.
My journey as a caregiver began in 2013 when I was just 16 years old and in Form 4.
It all started with a rainy day when my father slipped and injured his back. Initially dismissed as a simple backache, it soon escalated into unbearable pain.
After seeing the doctor, my father was diagnosed with a degenerating slip disc, a common issue among the elderly. He underwent two surgeries on his cervical and lumbar spine. Since then, he has relied on mobility aids like a wheelchair and walking frame to move around.
With no other family around, I became my father’s caregiver
Overnight, my entire world shattered, thrusting me into a role I never anticipated.
With my elder siblings forging their own paths—one established in Kuala Lumpur and the other pursuing tertiary education—there was no one left at home to take care of my father. The responsibility of caregiving fell squarely on my shoulders.
Image: My siblings, my mother, and me as a baby back in 1997.
24 years ago, my mother’s untimely passing from terminal breast cancer had left an indelible mark on us. Ever since then, our family had been navigating life’s challenges as a single-parent household.
Growing up, I witnessed my father’s unwavering dedication as a single parent: Rising at 4 am and retiring to bed well past midnight after fulfilling his work obligations.
As the youngest member of the family, I shared a profound connection with my father. His selflessness in raising three children single-handedly instilled in me a deep sense of admiration. Looking back, I am humbled by his steadfast commitment to our well-being.
Faced with the decision of whether to seek external care or personally attend to his needs, there was never any doubt in my mind.
Balancing studies and caregiving was a great challenge
At the time, SPM was looming on the horizon. Amidst this academic rigmarole, my role as a caregiver demanded my attention from dawn till dusk.
Mornings would begin with preparing my father’s breakfast, followed by a full day at school juggling classes, tuition, and hospital appointments. Upon returning home, I would don the apron to whip up both lunch and dinner, all while squeezing in time for homework.
Amidst the chaos, I’m grateful to have been aided by my sibling, who graciously took a gap year from their university studies. With their support, I was able to secure 9As in my SPM exams!
One day, my father was stranded on the floor for 3 hours
In 2017, I embarked on my tertiary education journey at Cosmopoint College of Kota Bharu. At this time, both my siblings were working in different cities.‘
Compared to SPM, college life was smooth sailing. Three-hour classes allowed me to seamlessly integrate caregiving duties, culminating in my graduation as Valedictorian with a CGPA of 3.97.
However, amidst the academic triumphs, a poignant memory remains etched in my mind.
Returning home from class one day, I was met with a heart-wrenching sight: my father, stranded on the floor and calling for help, unable to move for three long hours.
The gravity of his vulnerability struck me deeply. After graduation, I would need a full-time job. How was I supposed to pursue a traditional 9-to-5 career path while balancing the demands of caregiving?
I launched an e-commerce sticker store in 2020
Left: Some examples of client orders I’ve received. Right: One of my proudest portraits I’ve done back in Dec 2019. It took me around 20 hours in total.
Faced with this problem, I researched how to earn money while living at home. While I was at college, I had explored various avenues to cover my tuition expenses, like teaching art classes to children, doing portraits of people and their beloved pets, baking and selling homemade treats, and offering pet-sitting services.
After I obtained my diploma in Graphic Design, the COVID-19 pandemic made me reassess my options for remote work. I observed a rise in home-based businesses due to the lockdown, and I recognized an opportunity in the burgeoning e-commerce sector.
So, drawing on my graphic design expertise gained from college and internships, I invested in a printer and plotter machine, spending RM2,000 to kickstart my own venture.
In less than 48 hours, I officially launched my home business, specializing in creating and selling stickers on an e-commerce platform, tapping into the growing demand within the home business industry.
After COVID, I transitioned to a Remote Working career
The trajectory of my business was positive until 2021, when the shift back to traditional 9-5 jobs led to a decline in sales.
On better days, I handled over 10 orders, while on slower days, I would go 3-4 days without any orders at all. The unpredictability of the workload played a significant role in my decision to transition to remote work. While still manageable, I gradually pivoted towards providing graphic design services.
By 2023, sales began to plummet, and the weight of managing caregiving, household responsibilities, and entrepreneurship took its toll, leaving me feeling burnt out.
The isolation resulting from confining myself to the four walls of my home while fulfilling caregiving duties led to a sense of disconnection from my social circle and the outside world.
Witnessing peers my age achieve milestones like marriage, starting families, and career advancement exacerbated my feelings of anxiety and insomnia, prompting a need for change.
Seeking to remedy this, I joined the Rotary Club of Kota Bharu, where I encountered supportive individuals who offered inspiration and much-needed social connection.
Malaysian companies should give more opportunities for Remote Working
The rise of remote work presented a viable alternative to a 9-to-5 for me. Transitioning away from entrepreneurship, I embraced remote working to align with the evolving trends of the post-pandemic landscape.
Thankfully, with a network of friends and family experienced in remote work, and after joining Remote Work Malaysia, I have been able to receive opportunities in remote graphic design roles.
Advanced technology and communication tools have transformed remote work into a seamless and enjoyable experience. Despite our team members being dispersed across Malaysia and even overseas, we consistently deliver top-notch work quality.
However, it’s essential to acknowledge that remote work also demands a strong sense of discipline and proficient time management skills to navigate its challenges effectively.
Remote Working has made caring for my father possible
Nearly a decade into this caregiving journey, I’ve faced moments of frustration, anxiety, and doubt. However, I’m immensely grateful for the existence of remote work, as it has been a lifeline for my financial circumstances while simultaneously allowing me to care for my father.
The improvement in my mental well-being is immense! Now that I am freed from the daily grind of traffic, I’m able to meet company standards from the comfort of home.
I’m thankful for my company’s work-from-home policy for making this possible. The flexibility they offer to individuals facing relocation or physical limitations is invaluable.
Image: My parents’ wedding in 1987.
Choosing to remain my father’s caregiver is a decision rooted in love and gratitude. Despite the difficulties, caring for loved ones is a profound privilege—one that enriches our lives in unexpected ways. I treasure every moment spent with him, recognizing the hidden blessings in these challenging times.
In future, I hope to witness more companies embracing remote work or adopting hybrid working models.
Words and pictures by Jenny.
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Read also: The Truth About Being the Sole Caretaker of an Elderly Mother
The Truth About Being the Sole Caretaker of an Elderly Mother
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