Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
For illustrative purposes.
Everyone’s heard of the Bro Code. It’s that semi-mystical list of rules that governs how friendships between men work. While many of the most basic rules of the Bro Code are known, what is not so well known is the female equivalent known as the “Sis” Code.
It’s the same sort of thing, except that it applies to women and their best friends. For guys, the rules get broken, and we will patch things up. It’s the opposite with women: Whether the rules are implied or explicitly stated, these will make or break the friendship.
Here’s a little demystification of the top 6 rules of that code.
Rule 1 – No Girl Goes Without
When that time of the month hits, sometimes there is literally no warning, and you will be caught unprepared and off guard. “If a girl has need of one, you got a spare, you share,” said Crystal, “We’ll quietly tell each other when the dreaded stain occurs, without making an issue out of it, even if we actively dislike each other.”
For illustrative purposes.
Rule 1B – The Tudung
If she is wearing a tudung and asks for a hair tie, hairpin, or hairband, and you got one spare somewhere or can make do without for a bit, you give it to her. “It’s about respect for each other as women, and that also means respecting their religious beliefs,” said Indira, “Doesn’t matter that I want to destroy her for whatever she did to me. Some things you just don’t mess with.”
Rule 2 – No Girl Left Alone
People party, some party harder than others, but nobody gets left behind. “You start the night as a group, you end the night as a group. Somebody wants or needs to go home early? The group makes sure they get into a Grab Car safely, or someone accompanies the early leaver home.
Rule 2B – The Girl’s Code Word
Sometimes referred to as “Rule 2B” amongst women, it’s a code word that when received by anyone in the group, the sender needs help. “Whenever we get that code, by phone or text message, or even as a social media post, some major crisis will erupt that the code sender has to respond to as soon as possible,” explains Venus.
For illustrative purposes.
This gives the sender an escape route that can be used and also sends a message to harassers (more often than not) that their potential victim has her people, aware and waiting in the metaphorical wings with the knives out.
Rule 3 – “That Look”
Doesn’t matter what time of day it is, whenever a woman comes up to me and pretends that she’s my friend from high school or university that “she hasn’t seen for years!” I always smile and play along.
“I stopped at the 7-11 on the way home at about 2am just to buy a drink and some snacks. This Chinese girl came up to me with “that look” on her face.” said Shaqirah. Sure enough, there were two guys that had followed her into the same aisle of the 7e. They stopped short when they saw us hugging.”
“I just whispered, “dua lelaki tu ke?” and she squeezed me a little bit tighter in that hug. We were best friends as we talked, paid for our stuff, and went back to my car, where my husband was waiting, smoking a cigarette. The two guys split, and we made sure she got back to her own car safely before we went home.”
For illustrative purposes.
When “that look” comes into play women close ranks and form a shield wall you don’t want to mess with.
Rule 4 – Know Who is Off Limit, and Why.
As a general guideline here, Exes, siblings, and close friends are OFF LIMITS for any kind of relationship (besides friends). This is perhaps one of the most common rules, yet sadly, it is also one of the rules that get broken all the time.
There IS a truth that you cannot help who you fall in love with. Sometimes the heart just wants what it wants, and sometimes it is actually a mutual thing. Hence “unofficial Rule 4b.” If the attraction is serious, TALK to them. Explain, get permission and may all your relationships prosper.
Rule 5 – Let them choose who to confide in.
The line between intrusive and trust is imperceptibly thin, and women will pick who they want to confide it. Always wait to be invited or confided in rather than commit the indiscretion of asking to be confided in.
For illustrative purposes.
And remember that “three people can keep a secret if two of them are dead.” Whatever you are told in confidence, stays in confidence. The size of the secret does not matter. Respect it. Keep it deep inside and forget what you know. This is about mutual trust: When her secrets get out, yours will too.
Rule 6 – Apologize When Necessary and Mean It
For illustrative purposes.
We’re human, we make mistakes. When we make them unknowingly, those are the worst of all. The moment you know you’ve done it, get ahead of the curve, confess your error and apologize.
Petty pride that gets in the way of the friendship with your girlfriends will break and end those relationships faster than you can blink. Make sure you mean that apology because women can tell a fake apology from a mile away. Women are just wired like that.
Women, and the Sis Code a little bit clearer
Women will fight each other using words, psychological manipulation, and tactics best suited to the KGB, CIA and Gerak Khas. But the rules of the Girl Code are inviolate. Be they friends or sworn nemesis, the girls’ code is all about supporting each other when it counts, and keeping themselves safe, no matter what situation they find themselves in.
Funny how the bro code is pretty similar.
Know anyone with an exciting story to share? Drop us an email at hello@inreallife.my, and we may feature the tale!
For more stories like this, read:
I’m A Mat-Salleh ‘Rice Chaser’ & Here’s Why M’sian Women Are The Easiest To ‘Date’
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