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This story was sent in by an anonymous writer who wanted to share about her parents’ divorce while in their 60s, and how it impacted her.
Two years ago, my dad came home to KL from his job in Singapore. He asked us kids to gather around, as he had something important to tell us.
When we all sat down, he broke the news that he was filing for a divorce from our mom. This was a shock for us, although after really thinking about it, we were not all that surprised.
It turns out he has a young girlfriend who’s 25
My dad and my mom have been fighting with each other since I was a kid. Secretly, I always wished they would get divorced, as I felt like it would be better than hearing their screams and fights everyday.
They would fight over in-laws, how to spend the weekends (my mom loved to spend her days at the mall while my dad wanted to go to nature), and even what to have for dinner! If there was something to disagree about, they fought over it.
Over the past couple of years, my dad was living in Singapore and working while the rest of our family was based in KL.
It turns out that while he was there, he met a girl who became his girlfriend. She was the same age as I was, which was the tender age of 25. For context, my dad was about to turn 60 years old!
I always knew my parents were going to get a divorce, but I never anticipated that it would be because my dad found someone the same age as me!
At first I lost respect for my dad
My dad was always someone I regarded highly, and to know that he had an affair with someone my age made me look at him very differently.
Growing up, I had always seen my dad as a family man who had strong family values. He would also treat us to lavish vacations and make sure we were well taken care of. Over many years, he had shown through his actions that his wife and kids were important to him.
After the divorce, this image of him broke, and all I could see was that he was just like every other man: One who would discard his family to date someone much too young for his age, just because of their youthful good looks.
My mother’s side said many hurtful things about how my dad was a cheater and a disgrace to the family. Meanwhile, my dad’s relatives were somewhat supportive of him as they saw he had been unhappy for many years.
I finally met my dad’s mistress
A year after the divorce, he introduced me to her.
When he first suggested that we meet, I was mad at him for even suggesting it. Why would I want to meet the woman that broke my family apart? I felt like I would be betraying my mom by meeting this woman.
I thought she would be a gold-digger going after my dad’s money as he was living comfortably as an expat in Singapore. I couldn’t envision someone his age being able to get to know someone at 25, let alone get her interested in dating him.
When I met her, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting – I envisioned a young woman with a fancy designer bag and lots of jewelry, heels and a shorty skimpy dress. Instead, she was dressed in a t- shirt and jeans, with no brands or logos. In fact, they looked rather old.
To my surprise, we got along really well. She was young, fun, and had an open mind. I felt like I could speak to her openly about my thoughts and perspective and she shared similar opinions. I guess it’s because we are from the same generation.
She also has a young kid, and she works hard to send her to school. She has set up her own business selling home-made cakes at a cafeteria and works 7 days a week to provide for her young kid to get a good education.
I saw how his perspective on life changed for the better
After spending time with my dad and his girlfriend, I saw a different side to him. He had a different perspective on life. He was less angry and stressed all the time.
He started being more interested in us, his children. He was asking questions like “How is your mental health?” and was saying things like “As long as you are happy, I’m happy too”.
He also encourages us kids to be true to ourselves. He accepted his kids for who they are instead of societal standards of what “successful” is.
My mother was also happier after the divorce
As for our mother, she is now dating and meeting different people. She got married when she was still very young in an arranged marriage, so she never had the chance to go out and meet different people.
For a while, I felt a lot of anger against my mother’s family as they only chose to see the worst in my dad, forgetting the many wonderful things he did for them over the span of more than 35 years.
But now that my mum is dating someone that is able to meet her emotional needs much better than my dad could, she’s a lot more relaxed. I’m happy that she found people out there that are compatible with her.
How I came to accept my parents divorce
Even though society sees my dad as a terrible person who left his family to start a new one, I learnt that the most important thing is being happy.
My dad keeps reminding us kids that life is too short, so if we are not happy with something, we should make a change instead of living a life we hate. All in all, I’m glad my dad found his happiness.
Are large age gaps a red flag in relationships?
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Read also: When My Girlfriend Helped My Parents Reconcile After 22 Years of Divorce, I Knew She Was The One
When My Girlfriend Helped My Parents Reconcile After 22 Years of Divorce, I Knew She Was The One
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