Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
We’ve all gone on at least one first date where we found ourselves wishing that we could just walk out – and it’s not because an Angel or “Rescue” beverage was ordered by one party or the other.
From the leng lui’s that I’ve spoken to, here’s a complete list of escape tactics and strategies that they have used to escape bad first dates.
Employ these tactics at your own risk, and remember that your mileage may vary.
1. Blame it on the parents
I’ve used my parents as an excuse to get out of almost everything at one time or another. I think everyone has, but it’s one that seems to work at terrifying guys into letting a date end early instead of dragging it out.
Anyone who would be annoyed or angry about this is not someone you probably want to get into a relationship with anyway.
Personally, I think everyone is a bit scared of suddenly meeting potential in-laws, especially on the first date.
2. Bringing out the ex… or exes
Nobody goes on a date because they want to hear about somebody else’s exes. Most people will cut things short, politely as they can, and as quickly as they can, which is exactly what you want when you employ this tactic.
Unfortunately, this means you’re going to be the “ex-obsessed” one in their stories about dates gone bad. In all fairness, if you’re using this one, then you most likely feel the price you pay is worth it to get out of that date.
3. Start talking about religion
Let’s be clear: having faith is good, and being proud of that is okay. But nobody particularly wants to meet or spend time with someone who is overly religious, especially on the first date.
This particular tactic tends to work on the kind of people that for some reason, firmly believe that they are the best thing to happen to you since sliced bread was invented.
Of course, there are those who seem to be immune to this one. Feel free to employ any other tactic on this list for your escape.
4. Start bringing up marriage and children
Talk of marriage and children on a first date? That should get nearly any reasonably normal individual running for the hills immediately.
This only works if you are good with conversational escape routes – or if you can even get a word in edgewise.
5. Faking an important phone call
Make arrangements with someone to give you a call about 30 minutes after your date has begun. Your friend’s call is to give you a suitable pretext to get out of that date due to an emergency situation involving a family, friend, or loved one.
In a pinch, you could go to the toilet quickly, and arrange for someone to call you and bail you out in the next five or so minutes!
This can get you out of the date itself, but will most likely leave you open to texts and possibly a dreaded phone call about rescheduling the date. Getting out of that is going to be a bit more difficult.
Whoever you escaped from is probably hoping that they have a chance of some sort when the next, actual uninterrupted date happens. Of course… blocking and deleting is an option.
6. Back up plans using your friends
This comes in two general flavors: the first is the one friend, and the second is what I call “Gerak Khas.”
The first strategy involves calling or messaging a friend and having them show up if things start getting uncomfortable. When your friend shows up, act all surprised and have them join you. Conversational ice breakers will be along the lines of “OMG! I have not seen you in forever! Lepak for a while lah!”
This generally gets the message across and will end the date early. Unfortunately, this could leave you open to follow-up texts and calls from more persistent admirers who think they might still have a chance.
The second is when a clear message needs to be sent, which means you’ll need several friends capable of doing the menacing loom to emerge – it definitely drives home a point. I know some of my girl friends keep me in mind when they or anyone else needs Gerak Khas.
People who are subjected to the “Gerak Khas” will be unlikely to text – or contact you – ever again.
7. Parkour
When the conversational gambits fail, the backup does not materialize, then you’re pretty much left with one option left: make your way to the bathroom, and as the saying goes, “run like hell!”
If you want to be slightly nice about it, you could pay half of the bill before you flee the scene. This works only in a place you don’t plan on coming back to in the near future… or are such a regular that the staff won’t bat an eye at your antics.
8. Be mature
This will allow you to set an exit strategy before the date even begins, but it also means being mature about the whole dating process: tell them upfront that you’ve only got an hour (or two) due to other plans later in the day or early the following morning.
If things are going well and you stay longer, they definitely are not going to complain about that! If things aren’t going well, you can actually leave without being the bad guy when the time is up.
Just remember that you were the mature one, setting a time limit to things, so set an alarm on your phone, pay your share and leave when that alarm goes off. Or stay longer… it all depends on how well you think things are going.
9. Be really mature: tell them you’re not feeling it
Sometimes, it pays to be as honest as you can be: tell them straight up that you’re not feeling any kind of chemistry or connection with them.
This could be a one-sided thing, which leaves them unfortunately on the receiving end of a rejection. But they don’t have much choice but to accept it or end up looking like the bad guy.
Of course, it could be a mutual thing, and they could be as grateful as you are to have just cut things short, and spare everyone long-drawn-out agony.
Being an adult and being single means that you will get drawn into the dating game at some point.
While our intentions are honorable and our sights can be set high, there will be times when the return is almost depressingly low.
Knowing how to get out of those low return engagements is a skill that will come in handy.
For more stories like this, read: I’m A Malaysian Woman Who Loves Sex – Here’s Why It Should Be Destigmatised, Malaysian Men, Here Are 6 Creepy Things Women Want You To STOP Doing!, and The Malaysian Guide To Getting Immediately Unmatched On Tinder.
You might also like
More from Real Skills
How I Saved Almost RM50,000 On Buying My First Car
Here's how this Malaysian man with a RM3,500 salary saved RM50,000 on his first car.
Angry M’sian Boss Demands Unpaid Overtime Over Raya, Causes 9 Staff To Quit
An anonymous employee at a local SME shares how a bad-tempered boss eventually caused 9 staff to quit before Hari …
I Studied In Chinese School As A Malay Boy, Here’s What I Learnt
Every time I used Mandarin outside of school, family members would come up to me at gatherings and ask me …
