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This story is shared by a Muslim woman who decided to move abroad and explained her reasons why. She confessed that it’s hard to overcome judgement in Malaysia because she chooses not to wear the tudung. Here’s her story:
I’ve decided not to go back to Malaysia for good.
For context, I was born in the UK but my roots are Malaysian. My family moved back to Malaysia when I was a teenager, and I stayed there until Uni, where I immigrated back to the UK. I have a PR in my passport.
My plan was to always come back to Malaysia to be close to family and home. I love the sense of community in Malaysia. I love my family. I love my grandma and granddad. I love my cousins.
I have been going to Malaysia for holidays or on career breaks. My family is based in Selangor, and when I ‘balik kampung’, my kampung is in Malay-dominated places. So you can get the picture.
Even though I am a ‘local’, I never felt safe and comfortable getting around as a free-hair Malay woman. I was always self-conscious of my appearance.
I am sick of cat-calling, in places like the gym, and at weddings. I am sick of knowing people were rolling their heads back to stare disrespectfully at me during my morning runs. I am sick of people trying to figure out what race I am.
I am sick of people being surprised or treating me a bit differently when I tell them I am Malay. I hate how being Malay automatically means that you’re a hijab-wearing devout Muslim.
I just want to be treated like a human being on equal terms as everyone else.
I saw how unfairly my parents treated me v.s. the way they treated my younger brother, who could just go out at midnight to go ‘lepak’. If I did that, my parents would not allow such a thing because I’m a ‘weak girl’.
The moment I’m back in the West, I can wear whatever I want, go out at whatever time I like, and no one would bat an eyelash.
In the West, I am invisible. And that feels so empowering.
Malaysia is more conservative now than when I was a teen. From what I saw last time I visited, there’s no slowing down. However, Klang Valley seems chill according to what I’ve heard from others.
I am devastated to distance myself so far from my family. But I have to do what’s right for me.
This story was first seen on r/Malaysia and has been reprinted here with permission from the author.
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