Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
Here’s a story of what I had to go through in my journey to improve my broken English to turn fluent in just one year abroad.
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Growing up, I would mostly learn English by listening to American TV and talk shows where I found myself repeating their sentences as practice. Over time, the patterns of English sentences would be etched into my memory.
I know nothing about grammar rules like “past participle” and don’t even know what an adjective is, to be honest.
The only reason I got A’s in my grammar exams was by reading the questions out loud in my head and filling in the blanks with what sounded right.
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Arriving in the US
I went to college in Wisconsin, the US, a predominately white city surrounded by farms.
There, I noticed that 90% of international students still couldn’t speak coherent-level English at the end of their 4-year degree. They came and left Wisconsin without ever improving themselves.
Pack Mentality
In my Thermodynamics Engineering class of 20 students, there were four other Asian students from China, and they were always sitting together all the time.
When the lecturer asks to form group partners for a project, they’d automatically stick together by default.
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This behaviour carried on outside the classrooms as well. The Koreans would have their Korean parties; the Malaysians would hang out with their own people, etc.
Now that’s all personal preference.
But I came to the US on three separate flights and a 2-hour bus ride to experience the local culture. I wanted to improve myself through experiences I wouldn’t get back in my home country.
If I wanted to hang out with my fellow countrymen 24/7, I would have stayed in Malaysia.
I decided to make an active effort to join the local community. I didn’t want to be seen as just another ‘international student.’ I wanted to blend in.
The problem was that the Americans tend to lose interest in me when I start to stammer my words.
Joining International Student Program Events
I thought I’d train myself on an ‘Expert level.’ This meant having the ability and confidence to walk up to anyone, strike up a conversation, and naturally establish a connection.
First, I tried joining the events that a department in my University had hosted to help bridge the gap between international students and the local American culture. But, that ended up being super lame.
The Americans that join in on these events are the small minority who are overly friendly and they don’t exactly reflect the real America I’ve seen. Frankly, they don’t care about international students.
Moving Out on My Own
At the end of my first year, I moved out of the dorms and rented a room all by myself. The rent was around $550 a month. The neighbours looked like they settled for the cheapest accommodation.
A drug dealer in his 20s lived at the end of the hallway. I didn’t know until this one time; the police came with full gear to get him. There was a scuffle, and his back was thrown into the drywall, leaving a giant hole.
As the Americans would say, I stayed in the GHETTOS.
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The Lonely 2nd Year
I joined multiple groups and clubs on campus. Unfortunately, the friendships that I made were merely on the surface.
Nobody wanted to hang out with me outside of campus. My English was still not there yet, and I always was viewed as a weird foreign kid.
It was lonely, and my 2nd year was rough.
How lonely, you ask? Well, at some point, I started looking forward to reading and sorting through my junk mail.
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One day, I read an email from my Engineering faculty. There was a sponsored Engineering Leadership trip to Cape Town, South Africa, for 30 selected engineering students.
The only thing between me and that program was an essay application.
So, I wrote the hell out of that essay, and I got myself a spot in that program!
Author on a hike at Table Mountain, Cape Town
In Cape Town, I made friends with a guy from my college, Sean. He was a member of a fraternity and invited me over for dinner at his frat house once we were back in the US four weeks later. That’s where the story starts to pick up, ladies and gentlemen.
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I Joined a Fraternity
I joined a fraternity in my Junior (3rd) year. I got initiated, pledge ceremonies, the whole nine yards. After I was accepted, I stayed in the frat house with the other members.
We did everything together. We cooked, watched movies, cleaned the house, held meetings, organized charity events, and went to parties.
That was the first time I felt part of a local family. And I communicated in English every day!
I immersed myself in the local community and culture. I went to all the social events my friends invited me to in a heartbeat.
The good times (especially during summer) were priceless.
The Local Test
With all the practice I got, at the end of my 3rd year, my English was damn near-native. I was able to socialise with ease and I made a lot of friends, but I was still exotic-looking in a predominantly white community.
I was asked where I was from a lot, and it got me wondering… if I can convince the locals that I’m from a large city (nearest is Chicago), that would prove that my English is up to standards.
I did social experiments to test that out throughout my 3rd and final year, especially when I met someone new:
New Friend: “So, where are you from Helmi?”
Me: “I’m from Chicago”
New Friend: “Cool,” the conversation continued with no further questions.
I got away with this all the time during my last year. That’s when I knew; I’d made it!
Key Takeaway
If you can’t live abroad, KL is pretty international too. You can always find groups and clubs that converse in English to sharpen your English skills.
In life, you should define what you want and chase it with all you’ve got.
Because I was out of my comfort zone, I had to do something drastic. Life starts when you’re out of your comfort zone.
Don’t be afraid to take the path less travelled if you feel the main road that everyone else is using is not leading you to where you want to go.
There are plenty of benefits to having excellent English communication skills. I got my first job in Singapore because of my English.
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Plus, having excellent English made it easy for me to build an Airbnb business in KL in 2014, catering to international travellers.
Do you know anyone with an interesting story to share? Drop us an email at hello@inreallife.my and we may feature the story.
For more stories like this, read:
This M’sian Stutterer Struggled With Life & Learned ‘Rap’ To Get Over It – Now Music’s His Career!
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