Relationships are tough, and they don’t always work out. However, some people still try to make a failed relationship work, despite all the reasons it failed in the first place.
The question is, why do people keep going back to their partners even though things went wrong the first time? We ask these Malaysians what they think!
1. Not Understanding the Needs of Each Person
Dan is an extrovert, while his ex is an introvert. At first, these conflicting personality traits were not an issue. However, they began to argue simply because they stopped doing things together.
She wants to spend weekends at home while he prefers to go out on his own. This made her think he was cheating on him. They developed trust issues, and eventually broke up after a year. However, they kept in touch as friends.
After two months, Dan’s ex suggested they give the relationship one more try. This time, Dan really wanted to make it work, so he compromised by being trying to be more introverted and staying at home more. However, doing that made him unhappy.
Still, Dan persevered, but eventually his unhappiness became overwhelming. This made both of them miserable. However, Dan didn’t talk about it with his ex, and neither of them made the effort to resolve this issue.
Eventually, their relationship got stale and both of them broke up again. This time, their breakup lasted for a month.
Dan decided to give the relationship one last try. This time, he told himself that he’d be more transparent, while still being an extrovert. While they did argue less, eventually Dan realised he’s just not mature enough to settle down in a relationship, and that staying would just be unfair to his partner. They broke up again after a month – this time, for good.
Dan says the lesson he learned is that both partners have to be honest to each other, and to themselves. Whether we like it or not, there are make-or-break deals, and one shouldn’t ignore them early on in the relationship.
2. Fear of Being Alone
Niki started her first relationship late into her adulthood. She dated her first and only boyfriend (so far) in her late 20s. Niki loves to read too, so most of her spare time is spent on books and the boyfriend.
Her boyfriend broke up with her after one year, saying he’s no longer in love with her. She wasn’t actively looking for the next relationship, even though she felt lonely. After a few months of trying to move on, she decided to check his social media profile. Seeing his social media account brought back old memories, and she contacted him.
She found out that he was still single, and Niki initiated a meetup. They went on a date and ended up having sex. They ended up being together again (based on her suggestion).
The early phase began normally, and they didn’t argue. However, after six months, her boyfriend found the relationship dull again. They decided to remain friends while exploring other options.
After a while, Niki wanted to give the relationship one more try – she had a good feeling this time, because she was convinced that she has matured and become a more interesting person. However, subconsciously, she knew that she was thinking with her heart rather than her head.
The relationship ended (again) after a few weeks. Niki now realises she should focus on putting herself first, instead of relying on a companion.
For more articles about relationships, read 5 Mistakes I Made When I Told My Best Friend That Her Husband Was Cheating on Her and The Night My Ex-Boyfriend Almost Killed Me.
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