Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments. This story was first posted as a Twitter thread by user @dohanje. It has been published on IRL with his permission.
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I’m 26, a Johorean, working and based in Johor now. I’ve got more than 4 years experience in the executive industry – not a toddler; not yet a senior.
On my job-seeking journey, I struggled for quite some time.
JB is known for the huge number of manufacturing factories, but I’ve applied to so many factories, and not one got back to me with an offer.
You could list down the companies I haven’t applied to on one sheet of paper – I’ve applied to them all.
After searching for months, I finally found a job in Selangor.
Image via Unsplash.
One day, a company contacted me back. I had applied to them, but they had initially rejected me.
This time round, they were the ones who approached me — but the job would be in Damansara, Selangor.
After some back and forth during the interview stage, I secured the job.
Rather than rush to tell my mother the good news, I waited till the last minute to tell her.
To cut a long story short, my mother is the kind who cannot bear the thought of her children living far away from her.
She also finds it difficult to accept any achievements that I have made for myself – let alone moving from Johor to Selangor.
When I finally told her, she was totally unhappy about the news.
My mother refused to accept the news of my new job
Image via Rasy, IRL photo contributor.
After I broke the news to her, she started to gaslight me non-stop.
For example, I asked her if she wanted to spend Raya with me, but she pretended that I never invited her.
I know I’m probably disappointing her as I move away from her.
But as all my closest friends know, I’ve been living in the same kampung (hometown) as my mother, compared to my older brother who lives a bit further away in the city center of JB.
I would say I’m the provider of the house. She leans on me all the time, and so do I. We used to be best buddies and share thoughts and gossip together.
It’s only been lately since I have my own life that there’s been a gap in communication from my side.
As for her, she always seems angry with me lately. Sometimes I don’t understand why she scolds me to the point where she needs to curse, since I still treat her well.
For the past few years, she has been admitted to the hospital a few times, and I’d always be the one who had to take time off to bring the car from Johor to Kluand to take care of her.
Compared to my older brother, who only arrived to show face once she was in a stable condition.
After doing all that for her, don’t I deserve to be successful as well?
Deep down, all I want is for my mother to give her blessing
“A Mother’s Blessing”. Datuk Nizar Mohd Najib receives the blessing from his mother, Tengku Puteri Zainah Tengku Eskandar. Image via Malaysia World News
Ever since I was in school, I’ve never received any ‘restu‘ (blessings) from my family.
As such, I didn’t do well in my studies. Now, I’ve spent 4 years looking for any way to make a living for myself and my mother.
I still feel that I haven’t received my mother’s blessing to go out into the world and make a life for myself.
“Why not just move out without worrying about what your mother thinks?” You may ask.
It’s because I still somehow believe in blessings and ‘redha‘ (acceptance) from the older generation.
That’s why I got so stressed out when my mother wasn’t happy with any achievement I made.
Tell me, how am I gonna have a beautiful family storyline?
Everything I do, my mother would not accept with an open heart.
Before the move, I’ve made the necessary preparations from top to bottom, proof that I can survive as an adult and I know how to take care of myself.
After all that was done, only then I confronted her.
I just hope that she can accept and be happy that her child can take care of himself.
This is just one chapter. Another chapter will open up where she will gaslight me and tell all my relatives that I do not know my place.
My dream is to buy my mother nice jewelry, a big car, and a beautiful house
Image via Businesswire.
I feel so trapped! I just want a better life. I just want to find opportunities to change my life, even if it’s just in a small way.
Mother, do you really think I don’t want to take good care of you? I just want to buy you gold jewelry, a new phone, a big car, and beautify the house in our kampung.
If you asked my friends what my dream is, they’ll tell you the same thing.
Every time I’m out with my friends, I always talk about my dreams to build a townhouse in my kampung.
My mother would live on the ground floor, and I would live on the first floor. When the house is beautiful, we wouldn’t be ashamed of inviting people over to hang out.
Neither am I doing all this just for selfish reasons. All I do is for my family.
We know we’re not from a well-to-do family. But I also don’t want my parents to have a difficult life either.
And that’s why I strive for a better future.
How can Dohan convince his mother that he’s doing the right thing? Let us know in the comments.
Do you have a personal story? Email us at hello@inreallife.my
For more stories like this, read: https://inreallife.my/5-things-i-learnt-when-i-moved-to-kl-as-a-johor-boy/
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