Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
It’s common to argue in relationships – no two people agree on everything all the time. In fact, life might be quite boring that way. But it’s important to have a shared approach to life and agree on a lot of important issues.
One woman was told she should leave her husband after sharing a recent row they’d had over money, a thorny issue for many couples. This is her story from her perspective.
My husband often criticizes my “poor people habits.”
Image: Some of the brand clothes her husband buys.
My partner is very particular about his public image. We are middle class, but he likes to show off how wealthy he is. One time, he bought branded clothes worth RM950.
The problem is, we live in a community that’s full of actually wealthy people so he feels the need to buy overly expensive clothes and furniture to show off.
My husband also frequently criticises my “poor people habits”.
For example, I hang all my clothes to dry in the air because I have dust mite allergies, and the sun helps makes my sheets and pillowcases better for my stuffy nose.
Another example is, I like to change the oil on my car myself because I can let the old oil drip out longer.
Third, I like to plant the ends of green onions to get more green onions. I love the feeling of seeing new bulbs sprout from the soil after a few days.
I also repeat my dresses to friends’ parties because I don’t normally wear dresses so a dozen are enough.
But my husband absolutely hates all these habits because he thinks they are poor people habits.
One day, we hung our dirty laundry out to dry — literally.
We had a big fight about me hanging my sheets and clothing to dry outside. He demanded I never do it again because of how embarrassing it is.
I told him, “If you do the laundry, you can do them however you want.”
So, he did the laundry twice, then after he got lazy, announced he wanted to hire a laundry service.
I told him, “Since it’s an optional service, the money for the laundry service should come out of your “fun” money.”
He got upset and told me it should come out of the joint account, because it’s everyone’s laundry.
I said, “Fine, you can hire a laundry service for your laundry with your bank account, and I will wash and hang my laundry outside as I want.”
He then yelled at me for embarrassing him and making the neighbours look down on him.
Maybe I’m just frustrated in the moment, but this has been going on for quite a while.
It might sound like it’s just about laundry, but that’s how he is with almost everything I do. He cares about image and reputation more than anything in the world.
Actually, I come from a more wealthy family than his, and my family and friends do these things too, so I don’t see them as “poor people habits”. Plus, isn’t that looking down on poor people?
My friends weren’t impressed with my husband:
“Your husband sounds like the most pretentious and egotistical man,” said one friend.
“Just because you have money doesn’t mean you should spend it all,” opined another.
“Keep doing what you’re doing and don’t spend a single ringgit on laundry service,” advised another.
How should this married couple settle their differences?
Tell us what you think!
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