Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
I was 21 and he was 24. I met him online on OMI and not too long after, we met in person. 3 months later, he asked to borrow money.
At first, it was RM20-50, so I didn’t mind. But he hasn’t paid me back since the first time he borrowed and it accumulated up to RM3400 now.
Our relationship has always been rocky as this is my first relationship and he compared me a lot to his ex who stayed with him physically and whatnot.
He says he misses me but never seems to initiate a conversation or call me. I felt like I was in it alone. It has been about a week now since we last chatted and I wish him a happy new year with no response in return.
[Screenshots provided by Joanne]
Confrontations That Go Nowhere
Every time we get into a big argument, he realises the things I argue about were right.
And it’s not that I want to argue with him but he gets angry before I can even finish my sentences.
After arguments, he would show changes like he’d become this new person… but it only lasts for about 1-2 weeks then his old habits are back.
“It’s sweet talk. This is how he gets me.”
[Screenshots provided by Joanne]
There were only a handful of things he did that were the bare minimum but I gave him too much support and confidence that not telling me things had become his norm.
And he’d do big decisions things without acknowledging me first.
We broke up a few times. But 2 major breakups were because he said he couldn’t stand how needy I was towards him.
The first time he broke up with me was in July 2021 on the day of my semester’s finals. The second time was on 26th December 2021 because he said needed his own space and time.
[Screenshots provided by Joanne]
Paying For Love…
I wasn’t given allowances either at this time of our relationship. Most of the money I lent to him was from my savings as I was a university student and he had a full-time job.
“Sometimes I suspect that he is buying food for someone else because he always asks for 100+ for one meal.”
[Screenshots provided by Joanne]
I even paid for his petrol to come and see me.
I paid to fix his car and bike to come and see me.
I book grabs whenever he‘s hungry for food or needs to go somewhere.
Excuses, Excuses & More Excuses
He said he was not ready to commit.
He also used my parents’ disapproval of him as an excuse, saying that he felt stressed and alone.
[Screenshots provided by Joanne]
I tried calling him more than 20 times on 1st January (2023) but I think he got fed up and switched off his phone because my messages couldn’t be delivered.
When I talked to my friends about him, they all said the same thing…
They told me to stop talking to him at the start of the relationship. But they also knew I’d give him chances.
From Wherever You Are, I Hope You See This
I’ve come to a realisation that he either just took me for granted assuming I’d always stay or he was just playing games with me.
I hope he gets to read this and realise it’s him because I’m very broke after spending money on him, buying him expensive gifts, paying for his clothes, medical bill, petrol, and repairs for his car and bike.
I hope you will learn to appreciate your next love. And say it more often because, in this situation, I always had to beg for your appreciation.
To Anyone In This Same Situation… RUN!!!
The first time he tells you a lie, run!!
It doesn’t matter how much you love him, it clearly shows that he does not feel the same way!
[Source: RODNAE Productions on Pexels]
And don’t think he’s dumb, he knows exactly what he’s doing.
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