“marriage is like a watch – you have to keep checking on it to make sure it tells the right time” – anon
Aunt Ella told me she’d never fall in love and get married. Over the years, having had her fair share of broken hearts, she refused going on dates, or even meeting guys.
Then, during one of the office night outs, she met Johan, or should I say Uncle Johan. She was smitten. I didn’t know him that well, and as it turned out, neither did she.
One day I heard from my mom that Aunty Ella was getting married. And though she had told me otherwise, I wasn’t surprised by the news.
“Never say never,” as a certain Bieber sang.
I thought about what I could do to help with the wedding preparations, as she had helped me with mine. She asked me out for a cuppa so we could discuss it.
She brought Uncle Johan along, and we chatted a little – nothing big, just making small talk. He left quite abruptly after receiving a phone call, saying it was about work.
Weeks before the wedding day, Aunt Ella was in a state of panic. There was still a lot of stuff which needed doing. She claimed that Uncle Johan wasn’t helping much (there were talks among the relatives about him getting the cold feet) and she was really frustrated and upset about it.
I had heard them quarrelling over the phone a few times, calling each other names which people in love (and getting married soon!) shouldn’t be calling each other. During those times, things would often got so intense that Aunty Ella felt she should just call the whole wedding off!
Feeling helpless and sympathetic towards her, I then Googled Uncle Johan (as we all often do), and found nothing much about him, just a bunch of pictures of him having fun with friends. Lots of them were girls though.
Eventually I received a friend request from him, and though I don’t normally accept requests from people I barely know, I accepted it anyway. I mean, he was joining our family right?
Wrong move.
Almost immediately, Uncle Johan sent me direct messages via FB asking for my number, and again, of course I gave it to him. He was going to be my Uncle for crying out loud!
He started to text and call me quite often, greeting me good morning and checking if I had my lunch, asking how my day went, etc.
“I just wanted to get to know my soon-to-be niece,” he claimed.
Meanwhile, never once did he mention about Aunty Ella, or the wedding.
I didn’t think of mentioning about it to Aunt Ella, because, well, I didn’t think it was necessary to burden her more than she already was.
How I wish I had.
I was tasked to be Aunty Ella’s side-kick and her wing-(wo)man for her wedding. Shockingly, as I was ferrying her around town to get stuff for the big night, she asked me to take her away from the wedding, back to KL.
Sobbing uncontrollably, she said Uncle Johan lied to her. He claimed that he didn’t have any money, so she covered all of the wedding expenses. He said he’d pay her back, but she thinks he was lying through his teeth – especially since he had just bought himself a new car, just days before the wedding!
She was having second thoughts and was rambling so I thought it best if I took her home. I spoke to my mom about it, and she told her sister, Aunt Ella’s mom about it too.
Well, at least they’d be able to give her better advice than I. Whatever they had told her, Aunty Ella seemed to have calmed down the next morning.
She and Uncle Johan got married that weekend.
The perverted bastard
The very next morning after the wedding I saw a few texts from Uncle Johan saying how radiant and sexy I looked at the wedding – THEIR WEDDING!
He said that he liked how I wore my hair up, that my neck looked long and beautiful, and that he wished it was me he was married to!
How sick was that?
He claimed that things haven’t been that well with Aunt Ella and that she had taken all of his money to give herself a lavish wedding.
For the record, the wedding took place at her home. The deco was simple, but nice. And guests were treated with simple food, nothing fancy. It wasn’t what I would call ‘lavish’.
I couldn’t believe he would say something like that. Of course blood is thicker than water – I showed the texts to Aunt Ella.
She went quiet for a bit, and then all hell broke loose.
She lashed out to Uncle Johan (I think at this point I’d just call him The Bastard) but he defended himself saying I had misinterpreted the whole thing. That he didn’t mean it the way I thought.
“I wish I was married to you, rather than to her”. What other meaning could this sentence carry?!
Feeling humiliated but didn’t want to make a big scene at the family home, Aunt Ella and The Bastard left for KL that evening. I didn’t hear from any of them for the whole week, though I was dying to know what happened next.
No more calls or texts from The Bastard though.
Aunt Ella finally called me the week after, saying that she’d filed an annulment for the marriage. The Bastard turned out to be a fraud, a liar and he had borrowed money from so many people using her as an excuse.
She refused to be part of his nonsense.
The eyes are always watching
Thanking me for ‘exposing’ him to her, I also received an earful of why-didn’t-you-tell-me-earlier scolding, which lasted for quite a while.
“But you know what, at least I know The Big Guy above was watching over me – I was dead tired that I fell asleep as soon as I got on the bed. I slept with The Bastard, but luckily it was just that! I slept the whole night, and managed to remain ‘intact’!”.
Thank God for that.
For more articles on relationships, read Why Did You Break Up? Malaysians Tell Us the Reasons Their Relationships Didn’t Work Out, and 6 Ways to Keep Family Baggage from Ruining Your Relationships.
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