Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
Christmas! I hope you’ve already done your present shopping because half the fun of Christmas is in giving and of course, receiving the presents!
Unfortunately, there are times when a gift received leaves you confused by the selection your gift giver has made, or just plain perplexed. Here’s a selection of Christmas gift stories that will leave you amused, confused, and shocked at what kinds of terrible gifts are out there.
I’m a teenage boy… Why did my grandma give me lingerie giftcards?
This was a gift from my grandmother a few years ago. The present I received was a small tin box, slightly larger than your average business cardholder.
That’s actually precisely what I thought it was until I opened it, and found myself staring at a selection of gift cards for a particular brand of cosmetics and make-up: Victoria’s Secret? What?!
I turned to my grandmother, my confusion plainly written on my face. “It’s a gift card holder! You can put other gift cards you get in there to keep them safe, once you’ve used those!” she said proudly.
I smiled and thanked her – what else could I do? But I could see my father trying to hold in his laughter. What is a 15-year-old boy supposed to buy from Victoria’s Secret?!
My “gifts” nearly got me fired
I’m a game developer – specifically a designer – and like the rest of the studio, we’ve been working from home on a part-time basis for the past five years. One of the cool things about making video games is that each employee gets to spend a thousand ringgit a year on various games for PC and consoles.
It was pretty common for me to be talking a little about the most recently released games that I’m going to get shipped to my house, where I lived with my parents and siblings. I’d ordered five different games, but imagine my surprise when only two of them arrived.
I chased the suppliers but they confirmed that delivery was successful and the packages had been signed for about two weeks before Christmas when I wasn’t home. I reported the incident to my boss, and naturally had some fun doing my job analyzing the design of the two games I had.
Christmas morning came and I was opening up presents with my family, and then I unwrapped the gifts from my older sister. Imagine my complete surprise – and suspicion – when I got the 3 missing games.
What set me off was that while it is possible my sister paid attention to what games I was ordering and ordered me replacements, I had never let slip that I always ordered collectors editions that have a unique serial number and come with extras like artwork books, soundtrack CDs, and character figurines.
The 3 games from my sister were also collectors editions, with matching serial numbers to what was missing from my original order.
I confronted my sister in private later that day and she confessed. Fortunately for me, those games turned up. Her actions nearly got me fired because the games are purchased with company money and it took a lot of convincing so that I wouldn’t get fired.
I lost the privilege of buying research games and still don’t have it back. In all likelihood, I’ll never get it back.
My sister has been getting coal in her Christmas stocking from me for three years.
Always too young or too old for the gifts
My mother was responsible for buying me presents in our family and my father was an absentee workaholic. Whatever the occasion, but especially for Christmas or my birthday, the presents were always suitable for someone a little older.
For my 8th birthday, the packaging said “suitable for kids ages 10+.” When I was 10, the packaging said “suitable for kids ages 11+.”
You’d think this is kind of cool because my parents were getting me things a little more “mature” than my age. It wasn’t. Because I’d unwrap the gift, have 10-15 minutes to stare at it in wonder, and then get told “you’re not old enough yet.”
When I was finally old enough, I never got the gifts because I was “too old for children’s toys and games.” This was the pattern of my childhood from age 5 to 18. I grew up, without toys to play with, always jealous of what the other kids had.
As a teenage girl, I never got many of these small luxuries unless I was prepared to work and scrimp and save for it all. There were very few jobs for a 15-year-old girl in Malaysia during the 1990s!
My mother passed away and I was tasked with going through her belongings, I found a cupboard full of these gifts. Toys, cosmetic jewelry, and dolls. Even board games like Saidina and Monopoly. I hated my mother even more at that moment. May her rest be eternally unpleasant.
A shocking gift
A few years back, my brother came over with his girlfriend of about a year to celebrate Christmas.
His girlfriend was incredibly excited for some reason as we all opened our presents, in the order of youngest to oldest as we’ve done since we were children.
As the eldest, my brother opened his present last: it was a small black leather box, like a fountain pen box. The look on his face? Stunned.
It contained a positive pregnancy test.
Here’s the problem: my brother suffered a workplace accident years ago and he’s totally, completely, and utterly sterile because of it. It’s not something he talks about, and it’s not something he had told his girlfriend because they had not been together that long.
She was gushing about how “they” were going to have a baby. My brother put down the box, and very calmly turned to his girlfriend and said, “You are having a baby. Not. Me.” He stood up and calmly went to the outside kitchen.
She turned to us with a look on her face that was a mix of confusion and fear, and asked us what was going on.
My mother couldn’t look her in the eye and went into the kitchen to comfort her son. My father quietly stood up, and growled, “My son cannot have children – because of an accident when he was younger.”
She went pale as a Halloween ghost, silently stood up, picked up her handbag, and left without saying a word. No idea where she is, or what happened to the baby, but it was not my brother’s, so I don’t care.
The gift of giving
In the spirit of Christmas, gifts are supposed to be given for the purpose of bringing joy to others by giving them something they would want or like, not necessarily something that is needed or a necessity. Just remember to match up the right gift to the right person so its considered something thoughtful and considerate. Otherwise, you might wind up being the Grinch this Christmas season!
For more stories like this, read: “Santa Isn’t Real!” Uncle Johan Told The Kids, And Christmas Dinner Became A Disaster – In Real Life and What It’s Like Working a 13-Hour Kitchen Shift on Christmas Day – In Real Life.
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