Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
It’s a sad fact of life, relationships, and love that people do cheat in relationships. Not everyone is a cheater. Most of us are faithful and loyal to our spouses and partners.
Unfortunately, enough people do cheat and get caught. These are 3 stories of cheating from around Malaysia who didn’t necessarily get caught!
1. I was the mistress
I ended my relationship with my ex after a few years because we just were not as compatible as I’d hoped. I focused my relationship efforts on finding “Mr. Right.” I found him a few months later.
We met, we clicked, and we swapped numbers. We had long, meandering text chats, filled with laughter and for me, it was love at first sight. He didn’t say anything about a wife, but the ring on his finger said enough.
I tried being rational, and broke things off with him because I didn’t want to be “the other woman”. When I heard he got into a car accident a few weeks later, I called him immediately. I knew at that moment I was in trouble and I was going to be trouble because I couldn’t give him up.
I forced myself to follow a golden rule: he was not mine. I could not demand or request anything from him. I ignored a lot of things because I always followed this rule – it prevented us from getting caught and allowed us to let things go on for several years.
Love is a part of it but a large part of it was lust, obsession, selfishness, and greed. Nobody wants to be rational and see the truth that we deliberately blind ourselves to. Cheaters won’t leave their existing partners unless they (we) are caught red-handed because of what they have built with the other person.
His wife controlled the mood in the home as well as the family’s harmony. He did not risk disrupting his career or failing in his responsibilities towards their family. His wife and children were his proudest achievement. The golden rule was in effect.
He was not the perfect partner – he was my perfect sex partner and confidant. We did things together he never did with his wife in and out of the bedroom. I understand that I had to fit in around work and the precious moments with his wife and family. I was the mistress, not the wife.
We never had an anniversary. We never got long weekends, Hari Raya, birthdays, or Valentine’s Day together. Just gifts and consumables in lieu of real time and a real relationship together. His wife was always on his arm for family vacations and events. Knowing all of this was torture.
I was not on his list of priorities. That list had his children, his career, and his wife – quite possibly in that order. He was never going to give me what I wanted: love and commitment. A real relationship. I couldn’t keep doing this. Not to him, but to myself. I got a promotion at work and ended up moving from Penang down to Kuala Lumpur.
I told him.
He smiled and congratulated me. He was genuinely happy for me! We went out to celebrate. A little shopping, coffee, then on to dinner, and one last night together filled with lust and carnal passion. It was the perfect end to our affair. I blocked him the following day.
It’s been 5 years since I saw him and I’m never going back to that sort of life – I’m never unblocking his number.
2. I found out that I’m the side guy
When we met we were both young. We hit it off great and got together. We had been together a few years when I discovered that she has a husband in Penang while she was down in Johor with me!
She told me that it was an arranged marriage, that there was no love in the marriage, and that there were not going to be any children either. She couldn’t get out of the marriage because her husband did have feelings for her and wouldn’t sign the divorce papers.
Hence why she was with me. She was with me just because the sex was great and we got to have what she called a “real relationship”. Her husband is either completely clueless or just doesn’t care.
Before the pandemic, she would go back to Penang once or twice a month to visit family, but since the pandemic started she hasn’t gone home. Not even once. I’m not sure if I’m in a relationship or I’m still the side guy but I don’t feel like being the one to ruin a good thing, so I really don’t know what to do next!
3. The girl he was cheating with found me and told me the truth
I had been dating him for almost a year and things were quite serious. Then one evening, I got messages on Facebook from a girl I’d never met, who wasn’t even on the “recommended friends” list. It was a long message.
The short version was that she had discovered she had been hooking up with my boyfriend for the past NINE MONTHS via Tinder as part of a series of hook-ups. She attached screenshots of their conversations which showed me that there were many discussions of when they were to meet up.
I called him, confronted him and after some denial, he cracked and confessed, started to cry, and apologised. I told him to get lost, hung up, and proceeded to block and delete him on everything.
A few hours later, I got a call from the police, saying that he’s been in a car accident, and I was listed as an emergency contact. I replied that I was his ex-girlfriend, not his current one and that they should contact his parents and leave me out of it.
I know from friends-of-friends that he survived and made a full recovery – especially since he was stalking me for a while after he recovered. He finally disappeared from my life for good one day. I don’t know what happened, but to be honest, I don’t care.
Cheaters never prosper romantically
People cheat. It’s a sad fact about life, love, and relationships. But the leopard does change its spots – it’s completely possible for a cheater to swear off the lifestyle and to remain loyal in future relationships.
But it doesn’t excuse the damage they do.
For more stories like this, read: “My Husband Is 14 Years Older Than Me & We’re Expecting!” Malaysian Couple Shares Their Peculiar Love Story, 5 Toxic Traits That Are Normalised In Malaysia’s Dating Scene, and I’m A Malaysian Bisexual Who Broke Up A Couple I Was Supposed To Have A Threesome With – Here’s Why.
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