Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
The following story is an anonymous submission by an IRL reader.
Nick and I met when I was in my early thirties, and he was still doing his bachelor’s degree then. The attraction was mutual, and we hit it off immediately.
Unlike the guys I have dated (most of whom were my age), I found him a breath of fresh air.
Besides being physically energetic, Nick is more open to new ideas, thoughts and opinions, making him super exciting to date.
Many believe it is hard for a couple with a considerable age gap to find common ground (myself included), but we fit each other like gloves. Nick is considered mature for his age but has a childish side which (to my surprise) does not annoy me.
I often give him advice and guidance on adulting; in return, he teaches and updates me on technology and youth trends. On top of that, we both like thrillers, k-drama, travelling and food.
Of course, like every other couple, there are things Nick enjoys doing that I don’t, and vice versa. So, we put in the effort to accompany each other to try out something that our other half enjoys.
People generally do not realize our age difference when we are out and about; it could be the masks we wear, or people just didn’t care.
Occasionally, we would get stared at and whispered about, but that did not bother us.
One funny thing I have noticed is whenever we are in a fancy restaurant or bar, the bill always comes to me instead of him, which he finds annoying. It could be the stereotype about older women being more financially secure.
This would ring true back in the older days when he was still a student with no income. I proposed to ‘go Dutch’, and we hardly went on fancy dates. But now, he actually does quite well financially with his own business.
We have been together for almost seven years now, and I am very much still in love with Nick. A few main reasons our relationship works out is because we both feel equal in this relationship.
We still split the bill whenever we go on dates or trips. I will give him something of equal value if he gives me expensive gifts.
We are also very independent beings. We take care of ourselves well and only lean on each other for help and support when in need.
Due to personal reasons, I do not want to have children and have told him very specifically the day we started dating. On the other hand, he very frankly told me that he still does not know if he wants one.
Our families do not know about our relationship, and we have no intention of letting them know as they are very traditional-minded.
If they do find out, there will definitely be a huge hullabaloo. So, we both have agreed to keep it this way.
I do not know what the future holds for us, nor does he.
One thing for sure is there will be a day I won’t be able to keep up with him due to ageing. That is why we treasure the time when we are together.
I tell him from time to time that if he ever finds someone better, someone he wants to bring home, get married and have children, he can opt-out of this relationship.
I will be heartbroken, but it’s ok; I will be able to let him go and give him blessings, as I genuinely think he deserves what he thinks is the best for himself.
Know anyone with an exciting story to share? Drop us an email at hello@inreallife.my, and we may feature the tale!
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