Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
This story is shared by a contributor who points out the differences in mindsets between millennials and their parents.
How many times have you seen articles with headings such as:
- “Millennials complain a lot, why can’t they just be grateful (for a poor economy, a polluted environment and terrible property prices)?”
- “Millennials are not loyal to their companies, they only care about putting a roof over their head and food on the table! Why can’t they just help me grow my company?”
- “Millennials are too soft, can’t take unreasonable working hours, a toxic work environment and starting pay that has been the same since 1999!”
Well, okay. These are not actual headlines – but it’s definitely how I would view the way some people talk about the younger generation.
Be it on social media or in person, the rise of the internet has made millennials the punching bag for some older generations.
(Before I continue, I would like to be clear that there are MANY folks from the older generation who are supportive and understanding of the challenges different generations face. This piece is for those who take delight in stereotyping the younger generation).
So, let’s look at things millennials have heard from their parents growing up that we don’t want to do to our own children:
1. “You are part of the strawberry generation, all of you are so soft.”
Hello, if we are the strawberry generation, who raised us? The strawberry parents?
2. “I gave birth to you, so you owe me now when I am old.”
Excuse me, I never asked to be born. You choose to get married and get pregnant. Of course, I appreciate your hard work, love and care. I will do my best to care for you. If you are toxic, I will have boundaries. That being said, you don’t get to hold giving birth to me over me as if you did me a favor.
3. During studies: “Don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend, study hard.” After working for a few years: “Why are you not married yet? When am I going to have a grandchild?”
I’m sorry but I am not your personal Pokemon. I appreciate your wisdom and guidance, but I don’t owe you grandchildren or marriage.
4. When we were young, “I worked so hard so you could have a better life. Please remember that.” When we are older, “Young people nowadays have such an easy life, when I was younger things were much harder.”
Abuden… Why did you work so hard for me to have a better life, only to make me feel bad that my life is better than yours? Shouldn’t you be happy I have a better life, even if it is easier?
5. When we were young, “I worked very hard so that we could send you overseas to study.” When we are older, “Wah, why did you suddenly marry someone of a different race, have a different mindset, and talk and act differently than us? This is not our culture.”
Hello parents, you worked so hard to send us overseas right. Australia, UK, USA. Then why are you surprised when we start to adopt some of their thinking/behaviors? I’m not saying all thinking or behavior from abroad is necessarily good or that we have to do everything like others abroad, but is it not inevitable that if you send us abroad to learn, we will also learn at least some of their culture, thinking, or behavior?
To me, every generation has different challenges.
Every generation, there are older people who view younger people as less or not as good as their generation. I am pretty sure even if we went back to Ancient Mesopotamia, there would be writings on the wall about how the younger generation can’t take as much sand in their sandals as the older generation.
Personally however, I’d like my generation to stop this cycle of never-ending comparison. Appreciate the good, help make the bad better. As a good friend of mine has always said, “You cannot change others, so focus on changing yourself.”
So what I hope our generation could say differently is:
1. “You younger generation are definitely different from my generation.”
I’d love to understand you better, celebrate how you have become better than our generation and help you wherever you need help with.
2. “I gave birth to you because I love your mum/dad and we were so happy to have a child.”
Family is important to me, I hope you see that too and I hope even as I grow older, we will be there to support each other.
3. “If you ever want to get a boyfriend/girlfriend, come talk to me!”
I want to listen, understand and share with you what I think. If you are still in school and I feel you are not ready, I want to help you understand why and also be clear about what I think about the situation. If you are ready, I want to help you so that you can have a good healthy relationship. If you’re an adult, it’s up to you to decide if you are ready or not. Marriage and children are your choice, I just hope your mum/dad and I were good examples for you.
4. “I worked hard so you could live a better life. If you have a better life, I am happy for you!”
5. “If you learn new things from a different culture or country, even if it is not the way I would do it, I trust that I raised you well so that you can make your own decisions and that they will be good decisions.”
With this, I hope we can start a new cycle of appreciating each generation for who they are and helping them become better wherever we can!
Do you agree with his opinion?
Share your thoughts in the comments!
Submit your story to hello@inreallife.my and you may be featured on In Real Life Malaysia.
Read more: Boomer Parenting v.s. Millennial Parenting How Much Has Changed?
Boomer-parenting and millennial-parenting: How much has changed?
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