Disclaimer: In Real Life is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
Today we share the life story of multi-talented singer-songwriter Alan Duralaraj, also known as Alan D. He did not, however, start off sounding as though he had been given divine vocal cords.
His stuttering had a significant negative impact on his life. In order to enhance his language, as well as to function and fit into society, he started practising the rapping and singing techniques he had acquired on YouTube.
This young musician is now on his way to rapping and performing bilingual songs after overcoming this difficulty.
Here is his story.
Rapping Is Essentially Poetry
[Image provided by Alan Durairaj!]
To battle against my stuttering, I discovered that when you sing, you access a different part of your brain. You can look at Youtube where there are kids who stutter, but when they sing, they overcome it.
“The primary motivation for my singing was to overcome my stuttering. It started with rapping, and that in itself is words.”
I started stuttering when I was very young. It happened when I was on a family road trip, and there were the fruit guys tepi jalan. My dad asked me to go and buy rambutan. I knew what to say, but the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth.
[Image provided by Alan Durairaj!]
The stuttering hasn’t stopped. Even now, I still stutter occasionally.
I had an English teacher who was also my Music Band teacher; he had mentioned that I would be speaking in rhythm when I had to talk in class.
He said I spoke in triplets, further pushing me towards the music side. I was using it already to overcome my challenge.
Speak slowly; people think you’re retarded. Pace my talk, and take my time with my words. It allows me to think more before I speak.
“I had massive problems pronouncing the letter T. In High School, I would go back home every day and recite poetry, rap, and watch Youtube videos on overcoming my stuttering. And I this for a year and a half.”
I remember going to Mont Kiara International School, and there was a Spanish student called Tatiana. And since I had problems with pronouncing the letter ‘T’,I always mentioned her last name, Delatorre. I was the only person calling her last name cause I couldn’t know her first name.
I tried my best to tell her she was this beautiful Latina girl, so I would try to push myself to talk to her.
[Image provided by Alan Durairaj!]
“I was so nervous ’cause I could not say her name.”
It affected me from being more confident. That’s why I went home and learnt to overcome and practice my speech.
Seeing This Old Uncle Stuttering Like Crazy At McDonald’s Inspired Me
I was still stuttering when moving to Hong Kong during Middle School.
And then there was this one day, when I was blessed when an elderly 40-ish Indian man in Hong Kong (you don’t find brown people there much) standing at the counter of a Mcdonald’s.
Sitting down with my friends, and they were not paying attention, but I noticed him making an order and was a stuttering storm. It was terrible, and he was trying so hard, and people were getting annoyed, and he just got through it.
[Image provided by Alan Durairaj!]
“I was a bad boy at school and almost got expelled for the third time. But I was so anxious and severely stuttered, which helped my situation. None of my friends knew I had a stutter because I only spoke when I felt most confident in what I was about to say.”
First Steps As A Stuttering Musician
The first music I made was terrible and it will never be released (laughs). The first song I wrote was in high school and it was about school life and the girls that I liked back then.
[Image provided by Alan Durairaj!]
We do many subgenres of hip-hop: pop hip-hop, trap, old-school rap, and reggae hip-hop songs as well as pop music.
Bilingual rap – I feel I can translate my personality through bilingual rap. First, we live in Malaysia and must speak the language; most people talk in Malay.
Since I am a native English speaker, it was only natural to use English in my rap. I feel there’s something unique about singing in those two languages.
“When I tried to solve my stuttering, it was a weakness that affected my confidence. I couldn’t apply myself as a human being.”
As I overcame it, it became a strength. I used to rap and sing, and that whole period of my life was eye-opening. I became a lot more in tune with myself and other people’s struggles.
Most Memorable Music Videos
The latest music video that we released is called Kita, which was a collaboration with Aziz Harun.
“The song is about something that people can relate to (relationships and breakups). You love someone, but this person might not be particularly good for you, and you need to grow separately.”
[Image taken by the author, Mushamir Mustafa at Mass Music Studio!]
I wanted to tell people to live their lives. Relationships come and go, and life is short. Having the courage to fall in love, even if that means that you might fall out, every high is an equal low.
Feel amazing when you’re in love and absolute shit when you’re not. Just living and feeling relationships give life meaning.
“Another song that I am most proud of was a song with Faizal Tahir called ‘Luka Hati.’”
It was about my ex-girlfriend, and the record was dear to me. It was mind-blowing that Faizal joined in this collab. Before that, I was a hip-hop artist, but after that, it changed what Alan D could do. So far there are 410,000 views on Youtube.
“Look at solving your stuttering through any means necessary. Type in ‘How to Solve My Stutter on Youtube’.”
You have to attempt and try to fix it. Your life will change, and you will learn so much about yourself and how resilient you are as a human being.
If you want to make music, be prepared to sacrifice your time and sanity. You’re going to miss family members, birthdays and gatherings.
You will have to sacrifice your relationship with the people you love. You’re going to be broke for years, do it if you have the right motivations and your heart is in the right place.
The hardest part is being financially sustainable. Making music alone is incredibly tough. Once you figure it out, you are doing something you love, which is incredible.
If you are genuinely passionate about this, you will go to great lengths to make this possible for yourself and succeed. If you believe in yourself, it will all be worth it in the end.
Check out Alan D’s songs on MassMusic’s Youtube channel here!
Do you know anyone with an interesting story to share? Drop us an email at ym.efillaerni@olleh and we may feature the story.
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