Disclaimer: The experiences of the people in this story belong to them and do not represent In Real Life Malaysia, which is a platform for everyday people to share their experiences and voices. All articles are personal stories and do not necessarily echo In Real Life’s sentiments.
Story by Nisa Kamila
Picture: i am on the left, in pink
I had always been overweight. During my teenage years, as I cycled around my hometown, people would call out, “Gemuk! Gemuk!”
I had relatives who would joke over my weight.
As a young, easily influenced girl, this affected my self-esteem. I thought I needed a slim figure to look attractive. My weight made me self-conscious.
When I was about to get married, I decided to lose weight. I put myself through a crash diet, eating less than 1,000 calories a day, going on daily 5 km runs. Within 6 months, I lost a drastic 18 kgs. I was ecstatic and was determined to maintain that weight after my wedding.
But then life happened
After getting married, my husband and I tried to get pregnant. We managed to conceive a few times, but they ended in miscarriages.. This took a toll on me. Being an emotional eater, I sought comfort in food.
Today, my husband and I have been blessed with three beautiful children, one daughter and two sons. However, my pregnancies were not smooth-sailing.
After my pregnancy with my eldest son and daughter, I gained 20 kgs. At that time, I was posted at the National Cancer Institute in Putrajaya as a doctor, and subsequently entered a Master’s programme in Nuclear Medicine — a medical specialty involving the application of radioactive substances in the diagnosis and treatment of disease, for example bone scan, PET scan, and radioactive iodine therapy for thyroid cancer.
Picture: That’s me on the far right during a heavier time of my life
When I was pregnant with my youngest son, I was at my heaviest
Over the years, my weight has fluctuated, starting at 58 kg when I got married, going past 90 kg and back down to 80 kg. At my heaviest, I was 100 kg. During my last pregnancy in 2017, I was hospitalised twice due to high blood pressure that resulted from my weight.
I was posted to Penang and Kelantan for a total of four years during my master’s, and that was when I became truly obese. On top of the stress from my studies, as you know, the food there is delicious.
Furthermore, I was also in a long distance marriage with my husband throughout those years.
Juggling my work, studies and the kids really took a toll on me. My husband is my support system. He is my rock, and without that rock by my side, I was flailing.
Days turned into nights and into days and then into nights again as the workload overwhelmed me. I was drowning in stress everyday.
Picture: I am seated in the middle in pink
It didn’t help either that Korean fried chicken and boba milk tea was all the rage
I loved them! I must have drank one cup every few days. The fact that the boba tea shop was right near the hospital and my house didn’t do my weight any favours either.
There is a known link between the stress hormone cortisol and weight gain. When our bodies produce cortisol, glucose is released into our bloodstream in case we have to escape from a risky situation. When the threat is gone, this is when cortisol kicks in and we get sugar cravings.
The worst part is that our bodies tend to store sugar, especially after a stressful situation, especially in the form of abdominal fats. Furthermore, even if we don’t indulge food high in fats, cortisol slows down our metabolism. This contributed to my weight gain.
My weight bogged me down
I love playing with my kids. But when I was heavier, I couldn’t.
I mean, I would be with my kids, but I couldn’t run around with them and really embrace the fun because it was tiring. I would sit on the floor and engage my kids from my position there.
My husband had never said a word about my weight before. He always made me feel attractive no matter what my weighing scale read, but I let my own thoughts get to me. It affected my confidence.
I wanted to look pretty for him.
The turning point came when I was on a family holiday in Europe
I did not realise how much weight I had put on because I usually dress in loose clothing. The full extent of my weight gain came to me when I was on a family holiday in Europe.
I took a picture and that was when I decided that something had to be done. My health is important to me.
I want to be fit enough to care for my family.
I searched the Internet for information
There are many coaches online. They sell supplements, host group workouts, or talk about diets to help weight loss. So I began to do some surveying.
And it was Coach Taufiq who caught my attention.
At first, I wasn’t sure if he’d be the right fit for me. But then I went through his Instagram account and saw that his clients were mostly working mothers like me. The testimonies were good too. They were real life women achieving real life results, and I wanted the same.
Picture: Safiah is 49 years old with a waistline of 29! She is part of Coach Taufiq’s online fitness community. Within three months, she managed to reduce her waistline from 34 to 29.
Encouraged, I reached out to Coach Taufiq: “Assalamualaikum, Bro Taufiq. I would like to know more about your LEAN programme please.”
He replied, asking three questions: “1) Height and weight? 2) Any joint pain? 3) Why do you want to join this programme?”
Not long after, I answered his questions, and I was officially part of Coach Taufiq’s online fitness community.
Joining the programme gave me the push I needed.
So I joined Coach Taufiq’s programme, named LEAN.
Each day, he would post a workout video with instructions on how to do it, then tagged me and the other participants.
For example, he would demonstrate how to do mountain climbers, then list out the number of reps to do. There would be a new workout everyday so we don’t get bored.
We are able to do the workout in our own time. Some of us work out at 4 am in the morning. For me, I sometimes workout early in the morning or late at night. We can arrange it around our busy schedules.
What I love about the programme is that it is pressure-free. I message Coach Taufiq when I’m on call or my husband is outstation and can’t watch the kids, and he’s understanding of my situation.
As a Muslim woman, I love this system because I don’t have to be on video call with him, yet there is a strong sense of accountability. Taufiq would keep notes on the exercise I’ve done and my weight. With this, he is tracking my progress and can give me personalised advice each step of the way.
It was hard at first
I was 92 kgs when I started.
I had gone eight years without exercise, so starting again was a challenge. In the videos that Coach Taufiq provide, there is an easy and hard version. I started with the easy one of course, but eventually worked my way towards the harder one.
Picture from Istock: Knee push up (L); regular push up (R)
For example, an easier version of push ups are the knee push ups. They are easier than regular push ups.
As time passed, I started to feel lighter. I can now run around when playing with my kids. I feel more energetic when I do house chores. Nowadays, I go for a brisk walk or jog before I do the strength exercises.
To date, I have lost 25 kgs since I started the programme 9 months ago.
I feel stronger and fitter now. And honestly, it’s not about the weight per se. As Coach Taufiq says, your weight isn’t necessarily the best metric in fitness. After all, muscles weigh more than fat. A muscular person with little fat might weigh as much as a person with lots of fat and little muscle.
Therefore, it’s not accurate to say my goal is to lose weight. Instead, I am working towards a better body composition of fat and muscle.
I wouldn’t have been able to do it without my husband
Throughout my journey, my husband has been completely supportive.
When I work out, he watches the kids.
At one point, I wanted to tweak our diet a little and he quickly agreed. For example, there are a lot of calories in chili sauce and oyster sauce, so we take those sparingly now.
We also follow the 80/20 rule: 80% of whole food which includes carbs, protein, and fibre, and 20% of fun food, like dessert.
Sometimes, when the kids are in school, we go for runs together indoors.
It hasn’t been easy juggling my medical career, family life, and exercise, but my husband has made it possible.
I feel like myself again!
I am more comfortable now, but I love how I was before too
I have self confidence in both my before and after pictures. I am not ashamed of who I was before.
I have friends who asked if I was sad when I put on weight. The answer is NO!
To be honest, although my weight did affect me psychologically in some ways, I have always been happy, overweight or not.
Back then, I did neglect myself as I juggled my studies and home life, causing my weight gain. Nonetheless, I was prioritising my children. Prioritising my studies. Thus, I had no time to exercise.
There is no shame in that.
Do I like where I am now? Yes. But do I regret where I was before when I prioritised what was important to me? No.
Having experienced what I did, I am compassionate when I see overweight people nowadays. Sometimes I hear people make snide comments about fat people, saying that it’s their own fault for being the way they are.
Well, the truth is, we don’t know what they’re going through. They might be struggling to put food on the table, or have dependents to care for. Not everybody has the time to workout.
Be kind. Seriously, BE KIND.
If you’re looking to improve your fitness, remember: baby steps
For all my fellow overweight people out there trying to lose weight: You can do it, I believe in you.
There will be days when you feel like you’re not progressing.
But like Coach Taufiq says, remember where you were on Day One. Just put on your shoes and put one foot in front of the other.
Muslim girl fixing her shoelace after done with exercise at a public park on a sunny day
Make small changes. You can do anything you put your mind to.
If you’re overweight, don’t feel pressured to change after reading my story
Please don’t feel bad if you can’t. We are all at different stages in our lives. The important thing is that you prioritise what’s important to you, for yourself, and don’t let others or the media tell you otherwise.
If you choose to lose weight, do it for YOURSELF, not because other people pushed you into it.
That has been my strategy. And honestly, I can’t believe what I’ve achieved with it.
For more stories like this, read: I Lost 19 Kgs By Carrying My Friend For Over 6 Months During Our Workout and Finding My “Why” Kickstarted My Weightloss Journey.
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